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I don't know the whole story and there are of course two sides, but what I have done is to give/send presents to the kids for christmas and birthdays and leave it at that.
It seems every family goes through this s**t with someone else in the family. It's easier to ignore the fools and let them go. Each of us has enough of our own problems without adding drama by voluntarily suffering fools. And, get off Facebook and Twitter, it's easy for drama addicts to start wars on those silly social websites. Use the internet for something productive.
My stepdaughter ran into long forgotten cousins at a funeral and renewed relations . They remembered quickly why they had been forgotten when all the FaceBook nastiness started.
I'd move on with my life. Not worry about them. They send something, send a thank you card. If you want nothing to do with them, then do nothing. This family drama isn't going to go away. It is what is. You can let it eat up or you can move on with your life. I'd suggest the latter.
Really, just send the "thank you" card and forget they exist. If you plan a future trip for the in-laws, be prepared for them to ask you to make arrangements so they can see both grandkids. Be prepared to insist the s-i-l make those plans and then prepare for them to spend the majority of their time there, NOT with you.
Agreed. That's why it doesn't make any sense. But according to my MIL and my younger SIL, there was no medical reason for it. The only thing we can think of is that she had gained too much weight and didn't want to keep gaining weight for another month. She gained like 90 lbs, and both kids were like 12 lbs together.
See, you lost me right here in the OP, because when I read that you actually thought that she had convinced a doctor to deliver her babies a month early TRYING TO COMPETE WITH YOU AND YOUR WIFE, I realized that you have lost the ability to be rational about this situation.
It is very common for twins to be delivered a month early - for a variety of reasons. To assume that your SIL manipulated the doctor, or that this was done because she didn't want to keep gaining weight for another month shows that you really, really, really are too emotional and are apparently easily manipulated into thinking the worst about the sister.
You're quite an unusual man, getting sucked into your wife's drama.
Most men have the good sense to stay out of it. Now you're in the position of having to defend your wife's petty jealousy and irrationality to complete strangers. Good luck with that on C-D.
And since you'll completely disregard everything I have to say anyway, let me put this out here: Your wife needs to grow up and understand that many families have a "golden child" who gets everything and is treated like royalty. It's not unique to her situation. There's no point in being bitter and angry about it. Accept it and move on.
let your wife deal with her family and stay out of it. I totally eliminated his family from my life and was more then willing to stay home alone vs spending any holidays with them. John was in turn more then happy to stay home alone with me rather then spend another holiday with them as well. It worked out great for the both of us
yes, this is excellent advice, i totally agree with animalc
i would say defer to your wife on this, let her decide the type of relationship she wants to have (or not have) with her sister, and respect your wife's wishes. your place as a husband is to offer encouragement and support to your wife. period.
i also agree with you that it is a good idea to do travel arrangements with the parents directly, and not include the sister's family at all, they can make their own travel plans with the parents directly also.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 12-28-2015 at 08:25 PM..
I agree with the OP.. I have relatives that are a-holes and think they are better or things should always go their way.. They never want to listen to anyone or pay their fair share when needed.. I do not even associate with them.. I have a sister I haven't spoken to in 13 years.....
So I say to hell with the SIL and if you never see them again no big deal....
The only thing that sucks is that the kids usually get involved in all this. Pretty much causalities by association.
I have two cousins I've BARELY even talked to in a decade (only seen them a few of times here and there) ever since their Mom (my Aunt) had stopped talking to mine over something that's still a mystery to this day. They've been on very brief speaking terms over the past year or so, but the relationship is pretty much done at this point.
I have the answer: Move your family to Brazil and you won't have to pay for wife's parents to travel. If your SIL wants to see them, she'll have to pay for the entire trip. Also, your child will have on-going access to their grandparents while your SIL's children will have to make do with the occasional visit.
At 38, you should have acquired enough smarts as to not engage in the situation your wife has created with her family; unless, of course, you love the drama.
As a side note, if you don't like the responses that don't agree with your stance, it's probably better to stick to your habit of not posting about your family life.
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