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Me and my mom argue all the time. I know why. She had a conversation with me saying she doesn't want to go back to arguing like we used to but sometimes she really annoys me. But she does things that she knows i will say something. I kinda feel like an ass but i have this fire in my gut the wants to yell and scream at her. Mainly because she Spanked me a lot when i was younger and i feel like the only way i can get back at her is if i Be sarcastic ( and slightly rude) with her because i know that pushes her buttons to the limit. Its PRETTY OBVIOUS that its my fault but I'm gonna ask the dumb question ANYWAYS. Is this my fault? In todays society kids can take their parents to court for harassment ( i don't think ill ever get pushed that far) in the past i guess thats why some parents don't beat their kids?
Distance won't solve anything just enlarges the elephant in the room
No it doesn't. Are you an adult? Living on your own? If so, you can choose how and when to interact with your mother. If it means seeing less of her, so be it.
If you're living at home and under 18 , learn to control your mouth & when you're 18- get out
If you're 18 and living at home, leave a.s.a.p. Get a job, go to school, etc, but just leave.
If you're over 18 & have already left then call & visit your mom as seldom as possible. Put boundaries up and keep them there.
What happened in the past , is in the past past. No, it wasn't right for your mom to spank you a lot . It's done with though, move on- get therapy for yourself if you can't move past it. Don't dwell on the past, think of your future. Move forward. Break the screaming at each other pattern. Good luck
Me and my mom argue all the time. I know why. She had a conversation with me saying she doesn't want to go back to arguing like we used to but sometimes she really annoys me. But she does things that she knows i will say something. I kinda feel like an ass but i have this fire in my gut the wants to yell and scream at her. Mainly because she Spanked me a lot when i was younger and i feel like the only way i can get back at her is if i Be sarcastic ( and slightly rude) with her because i know that pushes her buttons to the limit. Its PRETTY OBVIOUS that its my fault but I'm gonna ask the dumb question ANYWAYS. Is this my fault? In todays society kids can take their parents to court for harassment ( i don't think ill ever get pushed that far) in the past i guess thats why some parents don't beat their kids?
First you need to be clear, did you get spanked or beat as a child for discipline or just because?
There is a vast difference between the two.
After that, it is your fault you behave the way you do toward your Mother yelling and screaming at her.
YOU control your actions and emotions now that you are not a child and if you cannot control them on your own, seek professional help with learning how to control your actions, emotions and how you handle anger.
You are pushing each others' buttons. So, just stop. If you know what you say or do will make her mad, then don't do it. Let is ride. I think your mom wants there to be less fussing, but she is falling into old habits, as are you.
Somebody has to break the pattern. Why not you?
IMO, you both are at fault in this.
If you don't break the pattern now, you and she could go through life communicating in the same old harmful ways. I know because that happened to me and my mom. You don't want that. Break the pattern now.
I think she wants you out. Maybe it's time to take the hint.
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