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yeah i agree. i told him i need to stop talking to you for awhile. Even after hours cooling off, I have no intention to talk to him, but I truly believe he needs to be humbled.
yeah i agree. i told him i need to stop talking to you for awhile. Even after hours cooling off, I have no intention to talk to him, but I truly believe he needs to be humbled.
He may need to be humbled, but you don't need to do it for him. Let time and his big mouth take care of that for him. Eventually, he will have alienated all of his old friends with his new behavior. At that point he will either start wondering why he has alienated everyone he knew, or he will be content hanging out with his new military buddies who joke the way he does.
The frat boy/locker room ribbing stuff can really just be another form of bullying. A joke here and there is fine, but when this is part of your normal discourse and you are approaching 30..it's time to grow up.
I think you either need better friends or some anger management. If you are at the point of losing it, there's a big problem, and it's hard to tell from this explanation whether the problem is on his side, your side, or both.
Yeah, ever since he was in the navy he became a huge dick. This isn't even a one time occurrence this has been multiple times, but I never really exploded like now. Hes like this little guy just mouths off and think there is no consequence to it. He needs to be humbled.
So, you two are guys and you probably won't like what I suggest. Tell your buddy in a friendly way that he has changed since being in the Navy. Remind him of what you liked about him before and that his new persona is hard to handle. Give him examples of times he embarrassed you. Go from there.
close friend or was who is known to trying to be alpha male and putting others down and including me, insults me on my love life or lack of it after me and my girlfriend broke up for awhile. A thing he constantly points out. Example would be anything I say, he would say at least I am getting girls right now or some form of it. Or how is the drought? I mean I would be like whatever if it is just amongst me and him, but he specifically puts me down when it is in a group situation or an audience to show his "alphaness." It can be like we chilling and having a good time, then he randomly says like how is the drought amongst friends? Just out of no where uncalled for and makes me irritated like what the hell? Affects my mood. I stopped talking to him, but I still want to learn how to handle these type of situations. If I were a guy in this situation, I'd say, in front of all of them, "Well, your mom keeps me really busy, but because I have some class, I don't talk all the time about how freaky she is in bed."
One coworker insults me on my ethnicity (being asian) in a joking way constantly. It could be anything that reminds him and he does it alot. One incident would be he sees asian writing and he says can you read that and then hes like he can't cause he can't see and everyone laughs, I pretend to laugh too, but it annoys me. Just amongst people. This suppose to be a professional work environment. I don't treat you that way. THese are the two people in my life so far that are irritating me. Some dickish guys tend to do to this when there is an audience around, especially when there are females. That seems to be a common occurrence. I would just look at them with a shocked face and say "Did you really just say that out loud?" When people make ethnic comments in the workplace, in this day and age, they need to be reminded about how inappropriate it is.
I am just not used to that type of stuff and view it as fighting words. I used to do mma and jiu jitsu, have seen people with these cocky attitudes and big egos who got humbled and became respectful so martial arts has always been my interest and how I would handle things, talking it out is something I am not used to. I don't know why it irritates me as much as it does. Some other people seem to not care to be put down and stuff, but for me it irritates me.
I would not see it as "fighting words." Look at what their motivation is, and hit them there. If it's in front of an audience, their goal is likely to appear witty and impress others. So hit wit with wit, or in this case, hit poor wit with good wit. You'll end up getting the laughs and impressing the other people.
I would not see it as "fighting words." Look at what their motivation is, and hit them there. If it's in front of an audience, their goal is likely to appear witty and impress others. So hit wit with wit, or in this case, hit poor wit with good wit. You'll end up getting the laughs and impressing the other people.
I like that, so common occurrence is people tend to do that in front of a crowd. So just call them out on it? Like look at this hot shot trying to impress others
I think you either need better friends or some anger management. If you are at the point of losing it, there's a big problem, and it's hard to tell from this explanation whether the problem is on his side, your side, or both.
yeah you are probably right. I am hitting a crossroads at my life so been more irritated and grumpier than normal, still no excuse for him to be a dick. It bothered me before then and it still bothers me know with his insults.
yeah i agree. i told him i need to stop talking to you for awhile. Even after hours cooling off, I have no intention to talk to him, but I truly believe he needs to be humbled.
unfortunately, by the time a person is in his mid 20's, that's how he or she will most likely be rest of life. the development age has passed, and from here on it's very difficult to change people.
once a year, i take an inventory of my peer group, friends, and if after asking someone 3x to stop a certain behavior because it makes you uncomfortable and they continue, you drop them. i used to be bothered and take it, but life's too short to deal with bs like this. an old friend of mine was like this, one day i just stopped talking to him after an incident. he was confused, and wrote me long emails why i didn't talk to him anymore. i wrote back and reminded him of my prior requests to be more respectful. he never wrote me back. probably got offended, many people are self serving as*holes these days... and it's even that much harder for them to change, because most of us are enablers, we enable their bad behavior. if more of us called them out or dropped them, this behavior would diminish somewhat in society.
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