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Write two e-mails but just save as drafts. In the first, tell the #$$%%&& what you really think of him, how he's hurt your feelings, never responded to any contact, whatever it is you want to get off your chest about his behavior and all that.
Then, write a tactful e-mail, one that you think will encourage his continued efforts to contact you and your sister.
Billy, what a lovely surprise to hear from you! I think about you so often, and I was so sorry that you didn't include an update on what's going on in your life.
Of course I've read your book - didn't you get the review I sent you? In fact, I've been wondering if you're receiving our gifts, since we never hear anything.
Do keep in touch - I miss you!
Love, Sis
And, by the way, stop sending presents to the kids if you're not getting thank-you notes.
Our parents are both deceased. He has an estranged relationship when they were alive.
I guess it's not just the lack of communication all this time. It's the snarky tone in this email. "Have any of you read my book?" and "Did any of you get my book??"
One of my sisters and I both read it and traded emails with him about it when he wrote it a few years ago. I guess he forgot about that. Maybe he feels like we weren't supportive enough and that's why he dropped off the earth. Ironically, his book is about relationships and communication.
OK, thank you for answering that and sorry for your loss. Many times once the parents are gone and you have a sibling like this there is no relationship going forward. The only connection you had were your parents and they're no longer around.
You have your sisters and you're close. Be grateful for that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
He's a narcissistic assclown. I'd leave him on mute.
^^^^^ this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JasperJade
Let's see...
The only time you hear from him is when he chastises you or wants something from you.
He never asks how you're doing.
He doesn't have the decency to tell his kids to thank you for the gifts you send.
Why, exactly, do you want a relationship with this narcissist again? Because I wouldn't bother with him or his kids at this point.
^^^ and this. Just one of those "qualities" would be enough for most people, he has several that are off putting. This guy brings new meaning to the word narcissist.
Women define and hold families together, not men.
Nature makes it this way because male reproductive strategy is to 'sow the seed far and wide' and women 'nurture the babies' within the most secure environment they can achieve, which in western culture is the family.
I can't tell you how un-remarkable this story is and it makes me a bit sad.
But they can't help themselves, and neither can we...
Meh. Not always. I'm the one project managing my mother's life in assisted living and doing all the tactical things you need to do for someone with dementia. I'm the one who calls my sister and emails status updates. I'm the one who calls my stepmother. It's not that my sister does nothing. I'm just the more pro-active one and that's mostly because I did not move three timezones away.
I'm useless keeping in touch with extended family. My uncle is in weekly phone contact with my mother so we exchange periodic email and I've spoken to him a few times on the phone when he called while I was with my mother. Most of my cousins are pretty bizarre and I've intentionally lost contact years ago. My sister is a bit better at that.
A case in point: my father, although 1,000 miles away from his family, wrote long multi-page letters every week to his parents and sister (separately), called every holiday, took the initiate to select and mail their gifts, etc, so it's not just a man thing. As for your brother being a hopelessly self-absorbed narcissist, you had me at self-publishing!
Are you sure he's actually getting your emails, gifts, letters....it has been a long time. Are you certain he hasn't moved. You did say (2) years passed since y'all heard from him. You could be mailing these things to the wrong places. Emails get lost all the time. Maybe it's going to his spam. I get a lot of legit emails to my spam. If I didn't know any better, I wouldn't check it. I do understand your frustration because I got frustrated reading your post, but you have to ask yourself those questions. Good luck, I hope he's not being a jackass purposefully.
How close was he to you and your sisters when he lived in the same area as you?
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