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I was not a poor student in high school, but any problems were solved hahahaha by running off, getting married and having a baby, then 2. Didn't have the sense God gave a rabbit. Took YEARS but eventually went to college, masters and made changes. Many young people who go to Europe go wild. My parents never deserted me. My kids grew up to be fine human beings in spite of me.
I'd like to study criminal psychology, and whilst I do admit that my grades were less than satisfactory this year, I worked really hard the previous years, especially for the SAT's, I think all that hard work I put in those previous years should count. My grades this year dropped my overall GPA which is bad, but if you erase that as well as my reckless actions this year, I have a perfect record. Plus, I googled the cost of UK colleges such as Oxford, Cambridge and UCL and they really aren't expensive at all, they're way cheaper than schools here in the US. I really want to go to Europe and study, especially the UK, it seems amazing there, and plus I hate it here, I don't have a chance of getting into a good college here and I feel like community college would be unfair given my SAT score as well as my AP classes and previous academic performance. Getting a couple of jobs for the summer will definitely be something I'll do, but then what?
You don't think can get into college here but you think you can magically get into Oxford?
Here it is: Santa Monica College is an OUTSTANDING two year college. Enroll. Your competition is not on the internet complaining about their parents. And get a job. Many SMCC students work while attending classes and you are not some special being exempt from the realities of life. If your parents have, in fact, disowned you, you need an income so you can support yourself. Santa Monica does not need one more uneducated, unskilled person hanging around the pier asking for handouts.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 06-11-2016 at 07:45 PM..
When you live somewhere for a few years you embrace the culture and become part of the country. Sometimes I scold my mom when she doesn't speak in a British accent because I know she can, she just never uses it. I think being half English would be quite beneficial if I manage to apply to a few colleges there. Wouldn't they be impressed? I don't know I'm proud to be half American and all, it's just so many bad things have happened to me here, ya know? I wanna start fresh, and Europe is really pretty, we went there for vacation once. The problem is the money.
I think it would be helpful if you could tackle this a little more seriously. As others have pointed out, the fact that your mother lived in the UK for 3 years in her childhood does not make her, and by transition you, English. That has some cultural consequences, but more importantly, your tuitions fees will be those of non-UK/non-EU ones (and another poster put a link to the Oxford tuition fees). Should you factor that, the fees are more on par with Ivy League's ones.
Now, I understand the idea of trying to "erase" a part of your life History and get a fresh start. I know some posters were a bit harsh on you, and while it's hard to disagree, I don't fully believe in destiny or, maybe a better word would be, fatality. There's always a way out, and that's what you have to look for.
First, a good thing to do is to try to go somewhere else. You are in California, the US by definitions are already a huge country. If you end up in another state, people won't know you, won't know your past, and you will get a fresh start no matter what. That does not require a change of country.
Second, if you cannot update your past records (with this nude picture story), then you need to deal with it when you are going to present your application. Can you explain how would be a good student despite those grades that are "not good"? And don't use arguments such as "I was very good before, until...". Facts are indisputable, and using such expressions only make you sound like a loser trying to save his/her face.
Rather, try to see that experience as a life internship. Can you spin it to share what this has taught you, about yourself, about society, social interactions and consequences? And how you intend to deal with such topics from now on? And ultimately, how this has made you a stronger and wiser person, somehow? After all, getting to know oneself is the most important task one has to do in life. Sometimes, unless a specific situation occurs, we do not know ourselves that well. You have had this chance. Can't you share this story in the essay, and in the interview? Your essay in your application needs to prompt anyone who reads it to be willing to meet you at least once, by curiosity. That way, you'll be able to defend yourself. "After all, everyone deserves a second chance". If financial debt can be erased by filing bankruptcy, shouldn't life mistakes be forgiven with a second chance as well?
Third, Europe does not sound realistic here. I do come from Europe, and while there are a lot of positive points in Europe, you would not be an European citizen but a foreigner. And as much as foreign students struggle in the US, not just academically but socially, the same would happen to you. You do need to factor that point, besides the financial topics.
And having a sort of rejection about yourself or your country is not the best state of mind to travel abroad and have a successful life over there. It's very negative. Life is about being positive.
Should you still believe Oxford or Cambridge are the right universities to try, let's think about the admission process.
For Americans, the requirements are: American education system
SAT Reasoning Test with at least 1,400 in Critical Reading and Mathematics and also 700 or more in Writing, giving a combined score of at least 2,100 (or equivalent)
I heard you mention that your SAT was 2,200? Then you need to check specifics to your courses. I have to say though that I don't see any courses related to criminal justice though. And as another poster has pointed out, anything related to judiciary systems are inapplicable in other jurisdictions, so learning that in the UK would not be helpful.
So where does that leave us? Do you have a topic in the list of courses that you would like to study? Choose one, check the requirements, and apply to those universities. If you pass the first round, why don't you raise it with your parents?
If you do not pass the first round, can't you try to get into state universities such as UCLA or Berkely, especially as a California in-state citizen? It all depends of the topics of course, but Berkely is notoriously famous in computer science and IT, they even have an operating system called BSD (Berkely Software Distribution). Those are not bad curriculum, really. Again, they might not have criminal justice.
Finally, a little word, if I may. I do know that advices from strangers on an internet forum are not welcome. Nevertheless, as a person who has been in a lot of places (4 continents) and various scholar situations with ups and downs (high school failure, then French preparatory classes and engineering school route, and then, I failed to get into my dream group 1 engineering school and ended up in a lower group 2 engineering school).
Well, I can tell you that despite the disappointment, that was at the end a very minor component of my life. Career wise, my school degree is still a Master degree in engineering, and it has not stopped me being relatively successful, if you will. I am also in the top 2% salaries of NYC, I met a wonderful wife who is an opera singer, I live in an iconic landmark in the city with incredible views, and I work in one of the most iconic buildings in the city as well, with a job that makes me meet a lot of interesting people. Not bad for a scholar failure, right?
Therefore, don't be too sad to not be in an Ivy league or a prestigious university right now. Life is just a matter of timing. If the Ivy League was not your route, then, at some point, another opportunity will arise. If your mind is sharp enough, you will be ready this time and your ascension will be infinite. The past cannot be undone, but the future is to be written.
Another poster suggested therapy, and I'm going to vote for that also. Maybe your parents would finance that....I know that, if I had enough money to finance college for my kid and she messed up as badly as you have, I would definitely finance some therapy.
Her parents' health insurance should cover therapy.
You can attend a local community college for two yearsModerator cut: delete...get good grades and transfer out after two year...work partime and apply for all federal aid you are entitled to you...you dont need any help from your parents...
Last edited by Miss Blue; 06-12-2016 at 06:31 AM..
Reason: filtered language
Get two or three jobs. Save money. Apply overseas or here. My parents gave me no direction either. I'm okay. They weren't abusive but I don't know what they were thinking.
They had money so I guess we travelled.
I'm going to assume you're really who and what you say you are (and not a recently-retired person posting rather anachronistic personal preferences). I'll assume that your taste in music stems from a fondness for your grandparents, who would be the right age to be Michael Jackson fans. And they would be the same age to be adherents to the ideologies which seem to have shaped your worldview.
Heaven knows, I've seen plenty of irresponsible Southern California parents, who manage to neglectfully raise children with bizarre senses of entitlement. (I've seen plenty of that in South Carolina, too: maybe because there's an abundance of maids in both places, to whom the 'chore' of child-rearing can be passed-off. ) There are lots of narcissists around LA, who really do not care much about their own children. Just think of Robin Williams, having his babies with the maids (or whatever), with little thought as to how the kids would look, what their IQs might be, or how inferior they might feel, to their big, beautiful white father. Think of Elliot Rodger's father, whose chief requirement in a wife seems to have been that they be easily available, and as foreign as possible (maybe he fancied them as being more "grateful" for his attentions....). You see how awful THAT kid looked, how dumb and tacky he was, and how Elliot's sense of inferiority to his big, smart, blond hottie "dad" manifested itself. A caring father would never have even PRODUCED Elliot, in the first place. Responsible parenting begins even before conception.
I'm going to assume a high degree of narcissism in your parents. A lesson I wish I'd learned, early-on, is this: The best way to turn a narcissist against you, is to interrupt or threaten his/her Narcissistic Supply. Threaten a narcie's self-esteem, and, no matter how close he/she is to you, you will damage your relationship with that person. Do it too often, and the relationship is damaged irreparably. You mention scolding your mother for not using her British accent. Are there other assaults, from you, on your mother's ego? Same with your father?
Practice (somewhere off their turf, where you cannot be overheard or recorded) buttering them up. Start practicing how you will express admiration for them, their 'sense of style', their brilliance, their wisdom. It will take a while, before you get good at it. Stop insulting them, but don't actually try your new "Admiration Mode", until you've gotten DAMN good at it. And start off with extreme subtlety.
Narcissists love to have their egos stroked. And they are horrified to be associated with defective people(unless playing 'Hero to the Helpless' enhances their all-important Narcissistic Self-image). 1940s Social Justice Warrior playwright Arthur Miller was profoundly ashamed to have a retarded son. All that poor kid had to do, to interrupt his father's Narcissistic Supply, was to have been born retarded. He was stuck in an institution and forgotten. It is possible that your recent difficulties are an embarrassment to your parents, to the point where their egos DEMAND that they disassociate themselves from you.
What to do? Begin grooming yourself in ways which will stroke their egos. Anything freakish or embarrassing about your appearance should be culled. Begin lightening that brown hair, and begin a regimen of using conditioners while showering, leave-on conditioners after showering, and waxes, to eliminate fly-away frizz. Hit the Junior League thrift shops in the best areas, and start wearing tailored, ultra-expensive clothing. A smart cookie, in Santa Monica, has access to the barely-used clothing of billionaires and near-billionaires, if she knows where to dig. Start looking like the people your parents wish they themselves were.
Never take another drink, stay away from sugar, and, if you smoke ANYTHING, stop, IMMEDIATELY. Become a paragon of seemliness - someone your parents will want to display, to enhance their own status - someone with whom they will want to identify. Do all this, while stroking their egos, telling them how "right" they always were, and maintaining enough distance to prevent them from hurting you, again.
Another lesson I've wished I'd learned early-on was this: Never let the Narcissist think that you're "his". Once they think you're "theirs", they begin to be abusive. So, be ELUSIVE. Be the ideal paragon of daughterhood, and the soothing voice to which their egos become addicted. But maintain your distance. If they ever, again think they "have" you, they will begin to, once again, devalue you.
What to do? Get a job, right now!!! Personally, I'd try something which put me in contact with big, blond, wealthy men. Your window of attractiveness is short, and now is the ideal moment to make a spectacular catch. At seventeen, you need feel no embarrassment waiting tables at a yacht club, doing menial things at a golf club... Or how about a job in a 'Big & Tall' men's store? Honey, you could end up married to a blond giant with a big income, before school starts in fall. Remember, you're going to be looking like Miss Ideal, rather than like some blue-haired wretch with a Cubic Zirconium in her nose.
It's hard for a man to resist someone looking up into his eyes, subtly telling him he's the most wonderful thing that's ever existed - particularly if she's also someone he'd be proud to be with, a model of propriety and seemliness, and just turning eighteen. If you don't throw away your window of opportunity, you could be married to somebody who'll pay for your bachelor's degree, your master's, and your doctorate (as well as being a superior father for your offspring, and someone you'll want to stay with for life). Most girls, these days, throw away that brief and magical part of their lives. Maybe you'll catch a 6'-9" attorney, just hired at a top law firm. Maybe you'll catch the eye of a 60-year-old bodybuilder, with a net worth in the hundreds of millions. In most parts of the world, meeting someone like that is nearly impossible. But in Santa Monica, it's definitely something that can happen. Most girls throw away their windows of attractiveness, partying and being fools. Whether you do, is up to you.
Just remember that one reason Katherine Anne Porter was able to craft her every word so exquisitely, was the fact that she was married to a prosperous man. Gertrude Stein could afford her quip-filled life and writings, because her father (finally, after many false starts) made a bit of money with a streetcar line. A person in a creative field needs family money, or some source of money, other than his/her profession. An authoress in her twenties has little chance of meeting and marrying anyone capable of underwriting her career. Brown-haired twentysomething 'creative' women are a dime-a-dozen, and seen as liabilities, sad-sack losers, by men. Like I said: your Window of Opportunity will not last for long.
Begin putting in applications, RIGHT NOW. Go to SOME college (even community college...), in the fall, come hell or high water. You may even be able to start some summer sessions, in a week or so. Drive up the coast to Pepperdine, and see what summer courses are open to you. Talk to them. Summer courses generally have lower thresholds for availability. And once you're in....
Why can't this Thalia girl go to the UK to study like she wants? It's cheap there, I'm sure her folks could come up with $13K per year. They sound like selfish parents to me.
Why do her folks need to cough up the cash? Maybe the university system in the US is different but most students in the UK just take out a student loan and then repay it back when they start working. Most don't get their parents to pay it for them unless they're quite wealthy. I'm paying off my student loans myself, without any assistance at all from either of my parents. I dunno if foreign students would need to fork it up straight away but there are plenty of American students studying in the UK.
But yes, colleges in the UK are much cheaper than in the US. If you want to study abroad, go for it. Don't expect to get into Oxford and Cambridge without stellar grades though.
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