My Brother has been cheating on his wife.... (person, children, sister)
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I was looking for some advice as I am stuck on what to do.
I have a Brother who is 4 years older than me I am 22. I am very close to my Brother and am also close to my sister in law. They have 2 children together and have been married since 2014.
A while ago my sister in law had some suspicions my Brother was cheating on her, she found conversations between him and other women and there was stuff on his browser history she found that made her think he was cheating on her.
She would always come to me for advice as she said I was like a sister to her. In the end she managed to get past this and thought he wasn't cheating on her and that he had just crossed the line in messaging other women and if he stopped then they could try and make it work.
I have a problem. I was babysitting my niece and nephew around 2 days ago. My Brother had been on his<snip>Social Media page on the iPad before he went out, I don't know if he realised but he didn't log out of his Facebook on the iPad so every message he received came through as a notification like they do on an iPhone you can read a preview of the messages on the screen without unlocking it.
The messages were from a girl, from what I could see, it was saying how she had a great time too and how she has bruises all over her. I know the unlock code as my niece plays games on it a lot so I unlocked and looked. From the messages he had sex with this girl the night before. He was asking her please not to tell his wife she said she wouldn't as she didn't want to get him in "trouble" and how they both hope to do it again soon.
I haven't confronted anyone, I logged him out of his page on the iPad just incase his wife saw. I feel so sorry for my sis in law, he's turned her into a really sad paranoid person and I'm thinking on whether I should tell her? Or tell him to tell her or I will? Or if I should just keep my nose out as its not my relationship.
Could someone please give me some advice?
Thank you
Last edited by Miss Blue; 06-26-2016 at 03:22 PM..
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I would have to tell her. She deserves to be able to protect herself from disease. Of course it's going to cause huge problems and there's a good chance that she might take it out on you, unfortunately. But I would absolutely have to tell her if I loved her. She's going to find out and then she's going to feel betrayed and humiliated. Your brother has made some really poor choices that are harmful to his family. I'm very sorry that you're finding yourself involved in it.
If you tell her you can forget any kind of relationship with your brother. You are young and that can mean 50+ years with a brother that hates you. You do not know the reasons. Stay out of it.
You can try anything but he may just be so deep into his sexual obsessions that it will fall on deaf ears.
He's going to have a day of reckoning when this is going to blow up in his face. At that time, him, his family and children might be in danger. People do crazy, unpredictable things when illicit sexual affair are involved.
Before that happens, you should plant a seed in his brain. Tell him that he's hurting himself more than anyone. What seems great now is going to come back to haunt him later. Having an affair is a sign that he is imbalanced spiritually. Maybe he's on drugs or has a clinical mental issue, his history indicates something along these lines.
He may not listen, but keep planting these ideas in his head and you might wear him down.
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