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So there are three female friends in my life right now who are somewhat distressed about not having a social circle. All three have advanced degrees and multiple children. One is a friend from 15 years ago whom I recently reconnected with who just happens to live on the other side of the city I moved to 5 years ago. Another is a good friend from college (now with multiple masters degrees) who has had to become a stay-at-home mom because for some time both her children had special needs (one still does). And the third is my roommate's best friend.
All three of these women have children in the same age group and live within a mile or two of each other. I adore all three of them and would love to find a way to set them all up in a weird way. Am I crazy for inviting three women (and possibly their kids) over for brunch one day to see if they hit it off (or better yet, brunch at a restaurant)? All three of them are very kind and open-hearted people and they have so many stressors and values (as well as some interests) in common, I feel like they could happily vent to each other and empathize.
I hate it when people try to set me up on dates. Is it different when you're just giving people the opportunity to connect as friends? Has anyone done something similar in a successful way?
If you do a restaurant, make sure it's kid-friendly. Maybe a better option would be a picnic at a park that includes a playground, so after everyone eats, the kids can play while the ladies sit to the side and chat with each other while keeping an eye on their kids.
(I'm assuming that the kids are all elementary-school aged or younger. If they're older, you'll need to find something else to do besides a "kiddie" playground.)
I agree with Lbjen with opting for a childfree group as most people think moms want to and have to be with their kids all the time when in reality they would prefer connecting with other women and establishing friendships that don't just revolved around them being mothers.
You can still do brunch, spa days, etc. things that will bring the women together and they can bond over something that's meaningful to them as it's very upsetting to moms when they realize people no longer see them as a woman but just a "mom"
how wonderful that you can bring them together and introduce them to each other. yes have a little get together without kids. if you include the kids make sure there is an activity that will keep them entertained so the women can have some adult time to chat.
I agree with Lbjen with opting for a childfree group as most people think moms want to and have to be with their kids all the time when in reality they would prefer connecting with other women and establishing friendships that don't just revolved around them being mothers.
You can still do brunch, spa days, etc. things that will bring the women together and they can bond over something that's meaningful to them as it's very upsetting to moms when they realize people no longer see them as a woman but just a "mom"
Though I don't disagree with this, I take the OP to mean that her friends are not currently acquainted with each other. I'm not a woman, but I would think that spa days and things like that are things that people who are already friends do with each other. I think it would be easier to break the ice if the kids were there with them. Also, having the kids come along precludes anyone from opting out because "My husband can't watch the kids that day" or whatever.
Though I don't disagree with this, I take the OP to mean that her friends are not currently acquainted with each other. I'm not a woman, but I would think that spa days and things like that are things that people who are already friends do with each other. I think it would be easier to break the ice if the kids were there with them. Also, having the kids come along precludes anyone from opting out because "My husband can't watch the kids that day" or whatever.
None of us are "spa day" types. But they definitely don't need kids around to break the ice. All the dads are very involved and could take some time on a weekend to let the moms go free for a few hours. The kids are all in the same age group anyway, so that might help in the future.
Though I don't disagree with this, I take the OP to mean that her friends are not currently acquainted with each other. I'm not a woman, but I would think that spa days and things like that are things that people who are already friends do with each other. I think it would be easier to break the ice if the kids were there with them. Also, having the kids come along precludes anyone from opting out because "My husband can't watch the kids that day" or whatever.
If the kids are included (and I agree that arranging all this might be more difficult if you can't just say bring the kids along) then I think the restaurant idea is not a great one. If you have the room to have a brunch (even if it is a potluck one) at your house, I say that is the best way to go. If they bring the kids and the kids are at an age where they need to be watched or entertained constantly, can you employ a teenager you trust perhaps to take them into another room for a bit (to watch a movie or do some crafts, whatever works for that age group) so the mothers can get to know each other?
Doing a restaurant meetup in a central location is probably ok too but only if kids are not included. The women won't really get to know each other well in that kind of a setting if they have young kids to constantly watch over. If you want them to begin to establish any kind of relationship, the ladies have to be able to actually talk and hear each other. Restaurants can also be noisy enough even without kid-clamour added to the ambient noise level.
I think your idea to get these women together is a very generous and thoughtful one. I hope you can figure out how best to do it and it works out as you suspect it might - they all become better friends over time and everyone gets what they need out of it all - even you.
Consider having a kid-free meetup. Sometimes we need a break!
That's a great idea! I would first have a get-together with moms and kids at your house. Not a restaurant, to hard for the kids and if it's at your house the kids can play why the adults talk. If everyone clicks then suggest a girls night out. Something simple and fun. Maybe a wine tasting or even a movie! I think everyone would be happy you get them all together
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