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This woman and I have worked in the same department for a year, we were hired at the same time. We never hung out outside of work alone, only when the dept went out for a co worker's event or holiday party. We mostly spoke on the phone for work related issues nothing personal really. When we first met we used to always talk about dating and who we thought was good looking at our jobs (normal girl talk). I told her I would never date anyone that worked in the same building as me and besides I was in a relationship at the time but it didn't matter to her as she went out on a date with someone in our building a few weeks after. It didn't work out. A couple of months later she told me she was interested in another guy in the same building but different unit. This guy I always considered cool cause when I first started he always went out his way to help me when I was new and sometimes contacted me out the blue to see how I liked the job and how things were going which I thought was very nice of him. She told me she tried to set up a date so they can hang out but she claims he either cancels or rejects. After the last time he rejected a date she says she finally asked him was he looking for a girlfriend and he told her no so that's when she said she gave up on him. This was five months ago.
Well two months ago that same guy got a promotion and was transferred to another building. Two days after he was transferred he calls me up and confessed that he always liked me and wants to take me out on a date. I asked him why did he wait until now to tell me I and he says he knew I was in a at that time relationship (which ended 3 months ago). I confronted him about my co worker and told him that I'm not dating him because he dated the other girl. He told me that wasn't true and he never went out with her because he was always wanted me. I told him no and before I hung up he told me he will keep in touch and won't give up. He seems like a decent guy but that situation bothered me.
The next morning I called up another co worker who works in another unit (same building) who I consider a friend and who's also a mutual good friend of the guy to ask his opinion. He told me that I should go for it because he's a good guy (he knew him for years) and also said nothing ever happened between those two. He also said it was none of her business who I date because we are not close friends and I owe her nothing.
Two days later the guy calls me and again asked me out and this time I accepted. Since then everything has been wonderful. He calls me all the time, we go out everywhere, he goes out of his way to make me happy and told me he wants to make me his girlfriend soon. And since learning about him he has all of the qualities that I look for in a guy. I haven't been this happy in a long time. This weekend he asked me to come with him to his sister's birthday dinner so I can meet his family so things are getting serious.
Well now I'm starting to feel some type of way because of my coworker. I feel like I should tell her something at lease because pretty soon she will find out either from hear say or social media and it would be messed up a little if she found out thru pics. I don't know how she feels about him now or how she will take the news but I know that she once liked him. She has since started dating someone else in the building and I only know this because of work gossip. Plus she leaves and comes in with the guy. We don't talk much anymore only when we are at work and the convos are not personal so I don't really knows what goes on in her life anymore.
So my question is should I tell her? And what exactly should I say to her? (We are all in our 30's btw and I have never been in this situation before.)
Tell her. No big deal. It sounds like you are making a mountain out of a molehill, especially for someone in her 30s. It's been five months and she's dating someone else. I doubt she'll care.
Also, he said he "wants to make you his girlfriend soon"?? That's a weird thing for adults to say to each other.
"I wanted to let you know that Joe and I have been dating. I know you talked about him for a while XXX months ago, and I just wanted to be up front with you."
Keep romance, religion and politics out of the office. Your personal life should stay personal and completely separate from your professional life.
You owe no one an explaination for your choices in life and honestly if it were me I would not be seen together during business hours.
Keep romance, religion and politics out of the office. Your personal life should stay personal and completely separate from your professional life.
You owe no one an explaination for your choices in life and honestly if it were me I would not be seen together during business hours.
We don't work in the same building anymore. He was transferred to a different building when he got promoted.
We don't work in the same building anymore. He was transferred to a different building when he got promoted.
I understand that however, the point you missed completely is to keep romance out of the office no matter which office you each work in.
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Thanks
