What is the worst advice you have ever been given? (wedding, relatives)
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"Guns are dangerous buh huhu uhuuhu uhuh!" --Various
"Motorcycles are dangerous buh huhuu uhuuh huh!" --Ditto
...Now two of my three "great interests" in life, third pays enormously well (software management).
I'm a part time firearms instructor, taught tens of people to handle and carry safely, and evangelize the legal and moral ramifications of deadly use of force to protect oneself and the citizenry. Amazing how people straighten up when they stop being victims and start taking steps to fight back.
I've been a licensed expert-class roadracer in California and Washington, taught and marshalled uncountable roadrace track days, owned roughly thirteen bikes, toured four African countries on roads both fair and foul, and leveraged some of my friends in the "the business" to bring attention to needy people in South African townships plus worked with kids in-same.
All because I followed my passions to become an expert in the above, understand what "risk" means and choose to accept living a life free from unnecessary anxiety.
Last edited by Blondebaerde; 12-28-2016 at 04:34 PM..
Almost ALL the parenting advice I received from so-called experts.
I think the worst (and the best) example of this, however, was being told, "Let her do whatever she wants. If you won't fight her, there will be nothing for her to rebel against." This was about a six-year-old who had Oppositional Defiant Disorder after she was removed from her bio mom, who had let her do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted without any rules whatsoever. When my husband I let her go without rules for a while, it just reinforced it in her mind that she really WAS the boss. (And heaven forbid we should actually scold her for anything and risk injuring her self-esteem!)
It really is no wonder that so many (but not all!!!) college students are such crybabies and have such a sense of entitlement!
Maybe if you spank him hard, he'd snap out of that autistic phase.
About my autistic son when he was about five or so. Autistic was said with audible air quotes. This person doesn't believe it is real.
Ahh; you got that one too? You just gotta love some people & their brilliant ideas ... NOT.
... Typically this is said by a person who never has, nor ever could, make it for ONE DAY; doing what you have have had to do for YEARS.
I also found it amazing that what this statement implies; is that my particular style of parenting, nurturing ... & love ... might possibly have CAUSED the Autism ...
Perfect!
Let's send a Memo to "Science": "You may all hang up your white lab coats & go home ... The cause of Autism has been discovered ... it was ME! I DID IT!"
Yeah. Hopefully; the person who said it to you was similar to the person who said it to me; in that they had a pressing engagement & didn't stick around too long?
Maybe they had to hurry off to join some friends for coffee? Or drinks? Maybe taking the wife out to a nice restaraunt? Must be nice; I'll be at home, caring for my disabled child; because I'm the only one who can.
"You made your bed, now lie in it." From my father, when as a young adult I came back home because my husband was beating me. It was the only thing he said to me the entire time I was there. Hateful b*****d.
Similar to today's "YOLO": "You don't want to get old & die ... And have regrets."
Sounds reasonable, right? Who wants to picture themselves laying in their deathbed, entertaining thoughts of "Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda ... "?
Except for that; when said to a young person; nobody bothers to mention the "real" regrets that real people have on their deathbeds.
After years as an RN, including Hospice Nursing; I've had maybe too many opportunities to her deathbed regrets ...
"I should have worked less, sacrificed more & spent more time with my kids". NEVER once has anybody ever said "I'm glad I made alot of money & drove fancy cars & had alot of toys."
Never.
"I wish I had never hurt my spouse/had those affairs/should have treated her the way she deserved; she was an excellent wife & mother". Nobody has ever told me "So many gals, so little time; thats what I regret!"
"I wish I could say *I love you* to the person I'm estranged from": The father who died 40 years ago from Alcoholism, the sister who stole your inheritance, the son who told you he was Gay, my drug-addicted daughter, etc ...
"I'm glad I was so stubborn & don't care whatever happend to them anyway!" Has not been heard, by me at least, from any dying person, ever.
And there are so many; too many more. But almost always, the common theme is that: "People matter so much more than money. Love comes before pride & hate is never worth it. A lifetime of putting yourself first will result in dying a death with regret."
But to a young person, they hear "Don't have any regrets!" And they think "Don't conform, be adventurous, live the high life; it's all about YOU!"
I mean; I did. Thats what I thought. I made alot of bad decisions that hurt people who loved me based on that measure: "What if I regret not rolling the dice? YOLO!"
Dumb, dumb, dumb. As if I even could have known what "Regret" really meant.
By far almost all of the bad advice over the years, came from inside my own head
Like George Castanza said...
Kramer: You gotta listen to the little man inside your head.
George: My little man is an idiot.
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