Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
When I have been asked questions to which I do not know the answer, I would go and find out. Why? Because obviously I would want to learn the answer also.
Does that seem so diabolical?
No, but the way she approaches management/senior analysts saying 'Kate has an issue and would like to know ..' is not the way to do it. She can just tell me 'ask someone else and let me know what they say' instead of making me look like I'm afraid of asking questions.
The phrasing has a lot of impact. If she were to say 'I'd like to know ... because I'm not sure ...' then it would be different. But saying 'Kate would like to know' really translates a different tone. It's all about how you phrase it.
So this is a culture in which you are encouraged to ask questions, yet you take your questions to your co-workers rather than your managers and then become upset when the co-worker escalates a question for which she does not have the answer? And you say she's trying to make you look bad in the process? Maybe she's just trying to get an answer for you and thinks you don't want to do the asking yourself since you continue to come to her. If she's only been there slightly longer than you have why would you go to her for answers and advice anyway? I'm confused as to how her asking questions makes you look bad if questions are encouraged, unless of course you are using her to front your questions to make yourself look good.
They encourage questions to coworkers, not managers
Also, the reason why I go to her is because we all work on different markets. Her market is linked to mine in terms of processes and structure, so she's usually the best person to ask because all the others wouldn't have an answer. Additionally, although we're technically not a team, management views us as a team. When I ask my questions, if it's country/market related, she's the best one to go to because all the others have different processes.
Whenever I have a more complicated generic question, I go to other people.
Our work is spread over regional markets with specific procedures for each market, so I can't go up to just about anyone. Each person working on the floor has its own competences/procedures/expertise and unless it's specifically related to something they deal with, you can't just ask a question randomly.
Besides, her asking the manager isn't an escalation in my eyes, not in the culture at least.
No, but the way she approaches management/senior analysts saying 'Kate has an issue and would like to know ..' is not the way to do it. She can just tell me 'ask someone else and let me know what they say' instead of making me look like I'm afraid of asking questions.
The phrasing has a lot of impact. If she were to say 'I'd like to know ... because I'm not sure ...' then it would be different. But saying 'Kate would like to know' really translates a different tone. It's all about how you phrase it.
How do you know what she says to management?
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
The co-worker feels like you are taking/ being given credit when she is the one you ask questions of.....you seem to try to avoid asking your manager, which would give your manager a truer sense of your weaknesses, it would be more honest.
You simply should start being responsible for your own work, if that means asking questions of your supervisor so be it.
I'm not afraid of asking questions. I'm fairly able of asking questions to other people where need be! But that's when it's needed.
If I have zero problem raising questions to my offshore manager who holds a really high position within this company, believe me, I'm not afraid of asking questions to analysts.
In this specific instance, I was discussing a signature on a piece of paper. The signature belonging to my manager who was away at the time, she didn't need to bring the matter up to another manager who had nothing to do with this. I told her 'It can wait until Monday, when the other manager gets back' then she took matters into her own hand and guess what the other manager replied: 'It can wait until Monday when she gets back'.
Why do you think I didn't want to ask the question to the other manager? Because I knew she wasn't in charge of that since it wasn't her case and signature in the first place! I knew she would tell me to wait until Monday. Hence, the fact I declined to ask. This girl just pushed for it.
My question was simply about whether or not I was right to set the limits with her.
No. Because it sounds like you were correcting her behavior, that never goes well.
When you ask for someone's help you don't have control on how that help is going to turn out.
I'm not afraid of asking questions. I'm fairly able of asking questions to other people where need be! But that's when it's needed.
If I have zero problem raising questions to my offshore manager who holds a really high position within this company, believe me, I'm not afraid of asking questions to analysts.
In this specific instance, I was discussing a signature on a piece of paper. The signature belonging to my manager who was away at the time, she didn't need to bring the matter up to another manager who had nothing to do with this. I told her 'It can wait until Monday, when the other manager gets back' then she took matters into her own hand and guess what the other manager replied: 'It can wait until Monday when she gets back'.
Why do you think I didn't want to ask the question to the other manager? Because I knew she wasn't in charge of that since it wasn't her case and signature in the first place! I knew she would tell me to wait until Monday. Hence, the fact I declined to ask. This girl just pushed for it.
Why did you bother asking for anyone's opinion here anyway?
You are extremely combative and always right about everything. You can't handle constructive criticism, and it's becoming more and more obvious as this thread goes on that you are incredibly insecure about your position and your perceived competition at work.
Last edited by Godzilla vs Megalon; 02-26-2017 at 07:10 AM..
I'm not entirely sure I made the right move with this co-worker.
We work in the same department and sit on the same row (next to each other), except I don't have a team as I work on my own and she works with two other people. We have the same position. She's been there for a year and I arrived 8 months ago.
As I have no team, I sometimes ask her questions because she's sitting next to me and when she doesn't know, she has this habit of going to managers or senior analysts to ask my question by saying "(My name) would like to know blah bla". The problem is that she goes up to them without me even realizing. I ask her a question, she tells me she doesn't know then waits a few minutes and brings it up to my manager or any senior analyst. She did it a few times and I didn't say anything but it made me feel uncomfortable.
However, she did it today regarding something trivial that I told her could wait until Monday until the manager is back. No, she suddenly went to the soon to be our team lead (who already does not like me) to tell her '(my name) has a problem, she doesn't know blah blah'. It really pissed me off, because I told her it could wait until Monday until the manager comes in. She takes my matters into her own hand, which makes me look like I am too scared of asking the question.
Today, when she did it, I politely told her 'Thanks, I appreciate your help, but for next time, please let me ask the question to them myself if need be'. Then she replied: 'Well, if you're not going to ask the question, I might as well do it myself'. I explained to her and she barely listened to me and kept typing on her computer. I left after that. I thought that really belittled me because I knew my matter was not urgent and was so trivial that it did not require the intervention of a third party.
She's been very very helpful to me, but I don't like this behavior of her taking my matters into her own hands. It makes me look like I have zero assertiveness.
She's the kind to also write on small papers to her co-worker sitting next to her, so nobody hears/sees their convos. They keep monitoring the breaks of another analyst working with them and reporting to management every single mistake (even trivial) or everything he says, which makes me distrust her and her 'friend'.
Of course, her friend who does not like me very much kept watching.
My intention was not to be rude, but to simply establish limits as I'm no longer a new recruit. This behavior of hers makes me look bad and her response I found to be quite demeaning to be honest. Especially, as my manager told me once 'you need to show you exist and go ask questions yourself to other analysts/managers'.
Part of me makes me think she does it purposely to make herself look good. Did I cross the line?
No, you didn't cross the line. Stop asking her questions. She is obviously trying to throw you under the bus and portray you to management that you are unknowledgable about your job to make herself look better. And monitoring a co-workers break times? She sounds like a backstabbing snake in the grass. My sympathies.
No, you didn't cross the line. Stop asking her questions. She is obviously trying to throw you under the bus and portray you to management that you are unknowledgable about your job to make herself look better. And monitoring a co-workers break times? She sounds like a backstabbing snake in the grass. My sympathies.
This.
Stop asking her questions.
Don't talk to her at all unless absolutely necessary.
Be very careful what you say when she's within earshot.
Don't talk about her to others.
OP, you refer to several other people who don't like you. There is obviously more going on. I'm not asking what it is - just pointing it out.
No, but the way she approaches management/senior analysts saying 'Kate has an issue and would like to know ..' is not the way to do it. She can just tell me 'ask someone else and let me know what they say' instead of making me look like I'm afraid of asking questions.
The phrasing has a lot of impact. If she were to say 'I'd like to know ... because I'm not sure ...' then it would be different. But saying 'Kate would like to know' really translates a different tone. It's all about how you phrase it.
Lots of questions with no answers, but you are perfectly fine with her going to mgt to ask, as long as she is the the one to appear to not have answers? And these are your questions, not hers, because if she had a need to know in order to do her work she would have already asked. It sounds to me as though she is trying to get answers for you without being made to look clueless in the process.
Why does she even have the opportunity to go to mgt and ask? When she tells you she doesn't know why aren't you saying something like, "thanks anyway, I'll ask Mavis about that" and do it, right then and there. She can't ask for you if you take it back out of her hands and take care of it yourself.
I really do get the feeling that you don't want to appear clueless to your mgt, but that you are perfectly happy to let someone else appear clueless on your behalf and you aren't happy when she turns it back on you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
