Rude to ask someone their ethnic background or nationality? (father, children, cousins)

[wase4711]

people are offended by anything now a days, so if you want to know, ask away; at least your curiosity will be satisfied, and if the other person takes offense, you can just walk away...
so many snowflakes in the world now a days....very sad

[noslrac]

You are danged if you do (none of your business, you're being insensitive, blah blah blah)
You are danged if you don't (you are ignoring someone diverse from you, you aren't welcoming, blah blah blah)

I agree with other poster, it depends on reason for asking and tone.

People are too easily offended. I think asking questions is how we learn about people and can be more understanding of our differences.

[tassity22]

I would not ask someone what their ethnic background is unless there is some valid reason you need to know this. It could be considered offensive. Why don't you just wait for them to volunteer that information? Once you get to know someone better, they will usually tell you anyway. There is no need to be intrusive.

[Cida]

I do it, too, especially with interesting names. But a couple of people told me that often the question is a biased code used for trying to find out if someone is Jewish. Which amazed me.

[Tokinouta]

Originally Posted by foundapeanut

Never ask. (Too many people with issues who have nothing better to do than try to make you the bad guy.)

Many times they will tell you when they get to know you better.

If you like someone, have a connection, what does it matter?

I second this. The social climate right now is ripe for a slap in the face. Don't ask. If they want you to know they'll tell you one day.

[ciceropolo]

Funny I had this happen last week after an introductory meeting with someone in same line of work. She was apt in her expressing an interest in knowing by first saying she used to work in western PA and saw many eastern European names and wanted to know how to pronounce my last name. Then after I did, she asked with curiosity what ethnicity it was. I have no problem with this (perhaps its more a generational thing and a minority in a non diverse environment issue) but as others have mentioned the reasons given for why and in what context can make it more sensitive.


Funny example from my side, I get an inquiry forwarded to me and it's a Michel, I asked on phone how to pronounce properly and am then given pleasant elevator speech of life story (including ethnicity French Canadian etc) and subsequently send along requested information. Fast forward about a month and 'his' call is routed through the young female admin's phone, so when I pickup I respond in a more lighthearted knowing way and then realize it's the 'man' I spoke to month ago. I find those instances hilarious (afterward of course).

[katenik]

I wouldn't ask a person's nationality unless he spoke with an accent suggesting that American English is not his native language. Frequently, people ask about "nationality" when they mean ethnic heritage, and it can be annoying.

[texan2yankee]

If I found a new person interesting and smart, his/her ethnicity and nationality would be very, very low on my list of questions during our early conversations. I'm not sure it is rude to ask a new person their ethnicity or nationality or religion or political persuasion, but it might signal your priorities to them if you asked such questions early in the relationship.

[Hapa1]

I'm mixed Asian/White, so if anyone asks me, I don't mind telling them.

[reneeh63]

What's the point? If their ethnicity is not obvious, chances are they've been in the U.S. for several generations and either don't know much about their background or don't care.

It seems rude to me - like when people ask about someone's disability just because they are curious and then almost immediately tune out because they don't REALLY wanna hear about it. I mean, do you want to know if they can do folk dances from "the old country" or still know the language? And how will you treat them differently from knowing that?