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I do this all the time when I visit my parents or my sister's family. I always do laundry the night before we leave and pack a suitcase full of fresh, clean clothes. It enables me to go home and simply unpack my suitcase versus coming home and immediately going back into the "real world" by having to do laundry as soon as I'm home! Ever since I started doing this, my returns home have been much more peaceful and relaxing (which was normally the whole reason for the trip in the first place - peace and relaxation).
I do not do this when I am visiting FRIENDS. Only family. But with both friends and family, on the last morning, I strip whatever beds we used as well as gathering all the towels we used and volunteer to start the first load of laundry before we hit the road.
My parents and sister's family does it at our house as well, for much the same reasons as me.
You're quite obsessive-compulsive about laundry. No one needs to "immediately go back into the "real world" by having to do laundry as soon as I'm home!" You are imposing this upon yourself in a very unnecessary belief and way.
Most people who do not have their own washer and dryer do laundry sporadically or infrequently or with large spaces of time in-between doing it. And they get along fine in life!
Surely you're not taking the majority of your clothes on a visit. Nor do you not have clothes to wear when you reach home. If so, you should buy more clothes, underwear, and towels, sheets, etc. No one needs to do laundry as often as your behavior suggests.
I think the wife was there too, but good question.
She mentioned a 12 year old daughter she has with the father of the step-son.
The wife comes too and they drive not fly. I also pack them a lunch/snacks/water to take back home with them for their trip home. Wife does not do laundry and is not domestic regarding cooking/cleaning etc.
In my defense, I am not a stepmonster. I was the one who pushed for visitation. I had ALL their birthday parties, swim parties, slumber parties. I loved it! We'd go on late night ice cream runs. Hiking, biking, horseback riding, staying up late, stocking the frig/freezer with their favorites so coming to dad's was FUN. I made it fun.
Our house is a vacation destination for a lot of family. Reason? Because I plan day trips, fantastic breakfasts, dinners etc. Sometimes I will stay home and cook/bake while they go out and see the sights with my husband. I've planned hiking trips, train rides, zoo adventures, shopping for the girls, mini golf, ghost town visits, paddle wheel trips, and more.
So what's my problem with the one person wanting to his laundry (Note: HE does the laundry, I show him how and set the machine, put in the detergent/fab softener. He does the rest). Obviously it's him and he's a freeloader as many have stated. He wasn't always this way. Wife influence maybe? And I NEVER say anything or make a big deal out of him wanting to use the washer/dryer. I smile and say sure no problem. But it bugs me. Other family guests will help out or at least chat with me while I cook or do the dishes. Why would I ruin a great visit by making a fuss about the laundry on the day they left? I wouldn't and I don't.
I personally take enough clothes on my trips so that I don't have to use someone's machine. I've never really thought about that as an option honestly. I've always just figured that part of a vacation is the pile of laundry to do when you get home. Not a big deal IMO.
You're quite obsessive-compulsive about laundry. No one needs to "immediately go back into the "real world" by having to do laundry as soon as I'm home!" You are imposing this upon yourself in a very unnecessary belief and way.
Most people who do not have their own washer and dryer do laundry sporadically or infrequently or with large spaces of time in-between doing it. And they get along fine in life!
Surely you're not taking the majority of your clothes on a visit. Nor do you not have clothes to wear when you reach home. If so, you should buy more clothes, underwear, and towels, sheets, etc. No one needs to do laundry as often as your behavior suggests.
I think that is more something a single person would do.
I used to travel a lot for work and when I came back, I would just live out of my suitcase until slowly the clean things got used up and ended up in the hamper.
People with kids can't do that. Growing up we didn't have all the clothes kids do now. Its like an explosion at my nieces house when she is doing laundry. And its only two kids. But they change twice a day at least - school clothes and after school clothes. And no, they don't wear the same thing two days in a row.
Which is something I found out people from other countries do. Maybe they don't now, its been a while, but I remember they would sometimes wear the same thing to work two days in a row. They don't have the huge water systems like we do here.
sorry, Clemencia53 at post #163, I don't buy it (the kids part) - I'm aware of what you're saying (about the kids), but I just don't buy it and I disagree....
but that's okay :^) - the standards of laundry are way out of whack and much too obsessive-compulsive...
no need for the compulsives to iist reasons they have in their belief system or their beliefs as to why they think they need to constantly do laundry and at the end of trips before going home... it's a type of brainwashing that occurs in the United States.
Last edited by matisse12; 04-24-2017 at 02:27 PM..
The wife comes too and they drive not fly. I also pack them a lunch/snacks/water to take back home with them for their trip home. Wife does not do laundry and is not domestic regarding cooking/cleaning etc.
In my defense, I am not a stepmonster. I was the one who pushed for visitation. I had ALL their birthday parties, swim parties, slumber parties. I loved it! We'd go on late night ice cream runs. Hiking, biking, horseback riding, staying up late, stocking the frig/freezer with their favorites so coming to dad's was FUN. I made it fun.
Our house is a vacation destination for a lot of family. Reason? Because I plan day trips, fantastic breakfasts, dinners etc. Sometimes I will stay home and cook/bake while they go out and see the sights with my husband. I've planned hiking trips, train rides, zoo adventures, shopping for the girls, mini golf, ghost town visits, paddle wheel trips, and more.
So what's my problem with the one person wanting to his laundry (Note: HE does the laundry, I show him how and set the machine, put in the detergent/fab softener. He does the rest). Obviously it's him and he's a freeloader as many have stated. He wasn't always this way. Wife influence maybe? And I NEVER say anything or make a big deal out of him wanting to use the washer/dryer. I smile and say sure no problem. But it bugs me. Other family guests will help out or at least chat with me while I cook or do the dishes. Why would I ruin a great visit by making a fuss about the laundry on the day they left? I wouldn't and I don't.
I personally take enough clothes on my trips so that I don't have to use someone's machine. I've never really thought about that as an option honestly. I've always just figured that part of a vacation is the pile of laundry to do when you get home. Not a big deal IMO.
So you invited your stepson and his family to your home to have a vacation like experience, and then call him a freeloader when he takes you up on it? And your proof of this is that he uses your washer and dryer and costs you an extra $1 in electricity while they're there? After they spent their time and money driving to your home after you pushed for a visit.
Oh yeah, he's done that...to go and visit another relative about an hour from us. Then spent more time over there than at our house. Why not just stay over there and we'll come visit? So every day for 4 days he spent driving back and forth just coming to our house to eat and sleep. That was a new one for sure.
OK, this guy is a leech. I don't think he is quirky any more; I think he is a freeloader.
Disinvite the guy if you can. Say you are too busy this year for a visit. If you have to host him, tell him you can't lend him your car. Cite insurance if you have too, or some other reason. Do this especially if he did not leave the gas in the car filled up before he left.
I suspect he is washing his clothes at your house because he feels doing so costs him less that to do it where he lives.
Someone who sleeps at your house, uses the laundry at your house, borrows your car and then disappears is a jerk.
So you invited your stepson and his family to your home to have a vacation like experience, and then call him a freeloader when he takes you up on it? And your proof of this is that he uses your washer and dryer and costs you an extra $1 in electricity while they're there? After they spent their time and money driving to your home after you pushed for a visit.
Yeah, you're playing the martyr. Get over it.
We didn't "invite" or "push" for a visit. Family, at least my family, asks if they can come down at such-in-such week for a visit.
And I don't think you've read all the pages or you would grasp the situation with this particular family member.
A Martyr, by definition, is a person who "pretends to suffer or who exaggerates suffering in order to get praise or sympathy". I am not suffering, nor am I pretending. I simply wanted to get feedback on the issue of using the washer/dryer on the day you leave to do all your laundry at someone else's house and in this case your family's home. I never have and wanted feedback. Some do, some don't.
But didn't you say he borrowed your car to visit others while at your house??
He leaves his car in the drive and uses yours??
That was another visit when they flew down. Every other time they drive. They only had 4 days to stay so they had to fly. But yeah, he used our car and spent the majority of their time at the other people's house. Of course we had no idea that he would do that because he told us one thing and then did the opposite (spend a few hours over there, and then come back for lunch) So we were waiting for them with lunch ready and he calls and says they will be home for dinner. Dinner was really late that night! Next day, same thing. And I can't say a word because then I will be the bad guy. I've learned to just keep quiet--except on this forum where I can vent!
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You're fired! 
