Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know there's people who are sure they don't want kids. But is there anybody who is older and still hasn't decided yet.
Ok, I'm a good amount older than 35 actually. But I am a guy.
So, what do you do if you're still not sure?
I guess you could say I live the life of a much younger person. I still like going to the bar and drinking beers, watching movies I've watched before, and I have a variety of hobbies and interests that are still pretty strong. I love my goofing off time.
My social network is thin, but dating/relationship has provided me with entertainment and adventures recently.
There's just never been a strong urge for me to have kids. I mean, I think I could be a good father. But I also think it would 'get in the way' of me enjoying life if that makes sense. Plus, I really don't like my career that much, so the idea of working my arse off and coming home and having no time to unwind is a bit scary.
People have told me I'm selfish for these reasons. I think that's rubbish. But I digress.
What do you do if you're still not sure at this age? Let's just say I should probably decide soon. Or at least strongly lean one way.
Any others in this boat or have been? Any experiences, and ideas?
Maybe a little off topic, OP, but my husband and I couldn't have children. We are in our 60s now, and although I know we have missed a lot, we are glad we don't have children to worry about in the world we live in now.
I do not think you are selfish at all. Doesn't one have to be selfish against another person in order for it to be selfishness? I mean, who is your "selfishness" hurting?
I will also say that we never had to worry about staying at a job we didn't like because we had obligations to children. We were able to be a little more footloose and fancy free, if you will, and also were able to retire a little early.
I guess what I'm saying is, live your life the way you want to. Sometimes yes, we wish we had grown children and grandchildren, but that's not the way it turned out. We've learned to play the hand we're dealt. Don't ever do something that you feel pressured to do. Be true to yourself and live as authentically as you can. Best wishes.
Female here, 35, consistently get told that I look 27-28, work full time (but remote, so I have fun and amazing balance, because life is short.) I have a fantastic social circle and family and date here and there. Never wanted kids and still don't. Maybe I'll change my mind, someday, but haven't yet--I like my time, my money, and my freedom. When I retire (which will be at a young age) my pension and savings will be MINE--not going to college, etc.
Interesting to read about the older guys posting--I've dated guys like you (I date older, 40 and up.) While I respect you doing your thing, freedom, money etc (obviously I am doing that, as well) maybe you should take a step back and look at the type of women you are dating--since you refer to women as "shrews" etc. Not all of us are. To each their own.
If you don't want kids, who cares? The world is vastly overpopulated, anyhow.
Being a new mom (9 month old beautiful boy) all i can say is that nobody should have children if they are not ABSOLUTELY sure. You have to be 100% convinced or it wont work out. And, also, and as important, have kids with a GOOD partner, someone that is there for you 100% and agrees in the fundamental stuff.
I did all that, i reaaallyy wanted kids, i had a kid with the most wonderful guy in the world who also wanted kids, and i have the fortune to have a sweet, smiley, easy, lovely, gorgeous baby who sleeps through the night, and im still FREAKING TIRED ALL DAY LONG . It still isnt easy even in the best conditions.
15? Doesnt it get very risky after 35? Lol so i have 5-8 years at best.
Not as risky as most reports have you believe. The main "risk" is taking longer to conceive and more health probs during pregnancy.
I've known people birth perfectly healthy kids with no complications from 40-44. My cousin w CP and MR was born to my aunt when she was only 26. I think that impacted me not wanting kids. I saw her life and I wanted no part of anything like it!
But the risk of Down Syndrome does increase. Although you can test for that in utero and if you do not want a baby with Downs, you can terminate the pregnancy.
Female here, 35, consistently get told that I look 27-28, work full time (but remote, so I have fun and amazing balance, because life is short.) I have a fantastic social circle and family and date here and there. Never wanted kids and still don't. Maybe I'll change my mind, someday, but haven't yet--I like my time, my money, and my freedom. When I retire (which will be at a young age) my pension and savings will be MINE--not going to college, etc.
Interesting to read about the older guys posting--I've dated guys like you (I date older, 40 and up.) While I respect you doing your thing, freedom, money etc (obviously I am doing that, as well) maybe you should take a step back and look at the type of women you are dating--since you refer to women as "shrews" etc. Not all of us are. To each their own.
If you don't want kids, who cares? The world is vastly overpopulated, anyhow.
I hate when people say "oh you'll change your mind one day"... nope. Not every woman wants kids
I am 35. I travel all over the world. I work. I do what I want when I want.
Being childless is awesome!
What did you do today? Changed a poopy diaper? Oh, I hiked up a volcano in Central America
To each their own. Exploring the world is largely pointless in my opinion after a point. Then again, modern women being so demanding and the attention they get and just the biological attraction to bad boys, I'd be careful who I had them with....
As an introvert thought i have no desire to have my "freedom" which largely consists of partying and bars/clubs which I'm not into.
I'll be 33 this November (I cannot believe it...) and I'm female. I would only want kids if I were married and we were financially stable. And by having kids, I mean only 1 kid lol. With so many environmental problems today, the best thing people can do in this world to make the world better is to not have more than 1 kid. I always found it funny like at Whole Foods there will be a family with 3 kids and they talk about reducing carbon footprinting and reducing wastes. The best thing that the parents could have done was to not have more than 1 kid. I know what I'm saying isn't something most people want to hear though!
Anyway as a single person I have no desire on my own to have kids.
My puberty took forever, I needed my 30s to find myself and for the past two years I finally had some thoughts about having children. I look at parents of teenagers and think it would be nice to have some.
I am 40 now, unmarried and doesn't look like it is happening. I am fine either way. My purpose in life isn't to reproduce. I lived a full life with lots of partying and crazy stuff, wouldn't wanna miss it and bringing a child into this would have been irresponsible.
And yes, I agree, nobody gives a crap about anyones bloodline.
Seriously? Why not offer to let those teens spend the weekend with you, that ought to cure it.
They may look OK from a distance, while they are out with parents on "best behavior". Just let them stay with you a while and "let their hair down". For a few hours. Then get back to us.
I didn't really have a say and i'm sad about it. I'll be 49 in a couple of months. Now that I've sworn off dating, there really is no chance. I think its stupid for a 70 year old man to have kids he won't be around, active enough, or mentally sharp for. So when I read that it makes me roll my eyes. First off, unless you're a celebrity or rich, what 30 something year old woman is going to have a child with a 70 year old man? Ridiculous thought. I can barely get women in their 30's now, so I can't imagine it in 20 years. Laughable. Anyway, my bed is made so guess I have no choice now.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Or at least strongly lean one way.
. It still isnt easy even in the best conditions.
