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This type of friendship is beyond me. I guess it's a guy thing?? Why do guys do this?
You need to do more than say you don't like being talked about that way. Tell them it's inappropriate to joke about those things.
He probably did something awkward and they're joking about it to make it less awkward. That's why guys do that sort of thing amongst friends. There are certain things people know are awkward or embarrassing, so they bring them out in the open by joking about it and it changes from an awkward thing into a fun thing. Women don't seem to work that way.
I'm guessing he made some kind of semi-creepy comment, or maybe stared at someone or something.
I think your comment of "It's inapproprate to joke about those things" sounds like a very mom-like thing to say that will not apply two a group of males of pretty much any age, who are not in the presence of women and have certain personality types...no offense.
I think he did fine with telling them he doesn't like being talked about like that, personally. I think that was a good decision.
Why did you become the mark for that joke? Did you date someone young, do you look like a serial killer, are you interested in strange stuff?
Most guys only bust chops or give nicknames based on something they see in the person so what about you says pedo? Figure it out and change it.
Yeah, my thought too. What is the answer to that question?
Yeah, my thought too. What is the answer to that question?
I bet it was something pretty minor, something that was not at all any reason to believe he's dangerous, but something quite cringeworthy that he doesn't want to tell anyone about.
Does this group chat have any other purpose than being ridiculous and a complete time-suck? serioulsy, you need some new friends. Is no one out on dates, at the movies, outside, etc? You guys sound like a bunch of losers in your moms' basements. Please drop these guys. You haven't said one redeeming thing about these guys in this entire thread. Do you like being a victim? Do you like being a patsy? Do you like the attention they give you, albeit in a twisted way?
This type of friendship is beyond me. I guess it's a guy thing?? Why do guys do this?
You need to do more than say you don't like being talked about that way. Tell them it's inappropriate to joke about those things.
His "friends" do it because they want a whipping boy whom everyone can bully. He allows it because he has no self-confidence. He'd rather be abused than be alone.
Normal heterosexual men do not engage in this sort of behavior. It is not a "guy thing."
His "friends" do it because they want a whipping boy whom everyone can bully. He allows it because he has no self-confidence. He'd rather be abused than be alone.
Normal heterosexual men do not engage in this sort of behavior. It is not a "guy thing."
I don't think that's necessarily true. I don't think it's necessarily bullying either. The guy knows his friends better than we do. He says he enjoys their presence, I see no reason to doubt he enjoys their presence.
I feel like you're trying to insert your views of what you want onto him, and that may not be what he wants. I see nothing necessarily wrong with being friends with these people. That doesn't mean he's necessarily weak or lacking confidence. All it necessarily means is he wants to keep the friends he has.
He told them to stop. I think that was a sensible decision. If they don't and he wants to no longer be friends with them I could see that as sensible, but even if he wants to stay friends with them, it's not like that makes him weak. It's just a personal preference. You and I don't know what his friends are like. All we know is that people in his group like making fun of each other.
Thank you. By the OP's description in the beginning, it sounded like it was a guy bonding thing. I'm relieved to be corrected.
I think it can be a guy bonding thing...just not to this degree in most cases. I don't think most men go around calling each other child molesters. I was in a group in college. We all were on the basement floor of the dormitory. There were two guys who were best friends. They were slightly homophobic. The group set up a facebook page. To annoy those two, under, I think it was, the sponsor listing, someone linked to an internet gay porn video. That's called fun. I only know it was there because I clicked on it while in a public library out of curiosity. Fortunately, I didn't get arrested.
Guy, chill out lol. I appreciate you looking out for me, but I don't want to take such drastic measures. I just want to be able to tell them that that joke bothers me without being seen as a bad sport, because we all like to razz each other all the time
Ummm...why is this so hard?
Say, "dude this is so not helping me score". <bleep>
Is this a bunch of awkward, unpopular with the ladies kind of fellas?
Maybe they're jealous if you get more chicks than they do.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-10-2017 at 06:30 AM..
Ummm...why is this so hard?
Say, "dude this is so not helping me score".
Is this a bunch of awkward, unpopular with the ladies kind of fellas?
Maybe they're jealous if you get more chicks than they do.
I think intelligent people shouldn't have to play those games. Saying "This is seriously bothering me" should be enough...but then, these may not be intelligent people. If they're not intelligent people, then something like this would probably work. I'd recommend throwing in the word "fa**ot in there too somewhere...that's if he wants to play games with men-children though. I would hope those games would be limited to high-school students and below, but I'm sure somewhere that's not the case.
OP, if your friends are complete morons, just use the word<bleep> frequently in reference to them. That should succeed. That worked well in middle school for me. If they are not complete morons, if you get them to understand that it really bothers you, they would probably stop.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-10-2017 at 06:31 AM..
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By the OP's description in the beginning, it sounded like it was a guy bonding thing. I'm relieved to be corrected.
