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I already know how the majority of you are going to take this, but oh well. I don't consider the majority of my coworkers to be friends. They are just people who I'm forced to spend 40 hours a week with in order to make money. I don't care about their personal lives and they don't care about mine. However, with engagement and pregnancy announcements, I feel like I'm being forced to celebrate their sex lives. An engagement to me just means "I found someone who I plan to have sex with forever" and a pregnancy just means "I had sex and now I'm going to pop a baby out at a later date." Sure, it's great for the people involved, but I really don't care. Yet I have to pretend to care and even spend money towards the celebratory showers. I just don't think this is fair. People aren't forced to celebrate the fact that I'm not having sex, so why do I have to celebrate the fact that they are? Just sayin'.
You will see, of course, the rather large number of responses on this thread from those who consider themselves to be 'normal' telling you how 'abnormal' you are for at least having a viewpoint that is 'outside the box' of what 'normality' is considered to be. 'Normality' for them is to feign interest in something that is really of NO interest to them. Have you ever had the pleasure () of participating in Facebook? Well, if so you will find those very similar to many of the participants on this thread who will click the 'like' button after reading some form of banality from one of their 'friends'. The majority of people are 'cookies' cut from the same mold and if one is not like them they are considered 'not to be normal'.
I personally am more apt to take an interest in those who are not boringly 'normal' since I long since came to terms with the fact that people are basically robotic and spend their lives doing and thinking like everyone else. It's a plastic world we live in full of plastic people. As for this topic ...let's face it, other than the topic of their getting married and having babies ...what would the average female have to talk about? Did they ever have any other ambition to fulfill during their three-score and ten years on Planet Earth? No, they didn't. For them that's all there is. Generally. males are a tad different. For them it's sport, cars, booze and sex. What a yawn fest!
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Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
PS: Don't tell me to go to therapy because I already have a therapist. Thanks!
I can't relate to that, unfortunately. I'm my own therapist.
The problem is that it doesn't matter that you don't celebrate your birthday. My husband also hates celebrating his birthday, but that doesn't render him unable to celebrate others' good fortune.
This is the OP's painful cycle - she desperately craves some acknowledgement and attention, so much so that her resentment has turned outward to the point that she cannot even acknowledge when good things happen to others. But she's not going to admit that she wants it, so she just stays spiraling in her own whirlpool of misery.
It's most likely depression based, and not really about a birthday.
We have celebrations all the time and I work closely with these people, so I wouldn't feel comfortable declining to participate.
You make no sense! You don't feel comfortable declining to celebrate your co-workers happy life experiences but you're just going to do it anyway and complain about it??? These are people you see 40 hours a week. Probably more than you see anyone else. You don't have to be friends with them, but you might want to be cordial.
The problem is that it doesn't matter that you don't celebrate your birthday. My husband also hates celebrating his birthday, but that doesn't render him unable to celebrate others' good fortune.
This is the OP's painful cycle - she desperately craves some acknowledgement and attention, so much so that her resentment has turned outward to the point that she cannot even acknowledge when good things happen to others. But she's not going to admit that she wants it, so she just stays spiraling in her own whirlpool of misery.
It's most likely depression based, and not really about a birthday.
Please stop acting like you know more than you do.
And unfortunately there have been cases where parents murdered their kids to punish their exes (who divorced them or got into relationships with new people) - there's a paper written saying that those parents see their kids as objects and not as people Making sense of spousal revenge filicide - ScienceDirect
Yes, that is very true. We just had this happen here in Southern CA. Father murdered his 5 year old son to get back at his ex-wife. The little boy's funeral was just the other day.
Narcissists don't see other people as people, they think they're above others and only think of other people as objects who get discarded when they no longer serve a purpose.
The problem is that it doesn't matter that you don't celebrate your birthday. My husband also hates celebrating his birthday, but that doesn't render him unable to celebrate others' good fortune.
This is the OP's painful cycle - she desperately craves some acknowledgement and attention, so much so that her resentment has turned outward to the point that she cannot even acknowledge when good things happen to others. But she's not going to admit that she wants it, so she just stays spiraling in her own whirlpool of misery.
It's most likely depression based, and not really about a birthday.
More likely due to being narcissitic.
So many red flags, jealous of others, can't be happy for others, thinks others are always thinking/talking about her and what she does, craves attention,etc.
Please stop acting like you know more than you do.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Roll your eyes at me all you want. I'm one of the few people who has taken this thread seriously and tried to offer sincere advice based on my own life experience from being twice your age.
I'll leave you to the ones who are just taking pot shots about getting a better therapist. Have a great Friday, Sugar I truly hope there are no office parties awaiting you tomorrow.
So many red flags, jealous of others, can't be happy for others, thinks others are always thinking/talking about her and what she does, craves attention,etc.
Please accept that I have a therapist already and it isn't you. You can stop trying to analyze me.
Roll your eyes at me all you want. I'm one of the few people who has taken this thread seriously and tried to offer sincere advice based on my own life experience from being twice your age.
I'll leave you to the ones who are just taking pot shots about getting a better therapist. Have a great Friday, Sugar I truly hope there are no office parties awaiting you tomorrow.
I honestly didn't know you were in your 70s, but ok. You can think what you want about me, but 49ersfan didn't ask you to psychoanalyze me over the Internet, so that wasn't necessary. Also, you were wrong.
What I don't get is that at my office an envelope is passed and the email announcement is very clear that participation is optional - no one knows if you put in $1, $10 or nothing. OP needs to suggest that. And for work celebrations, it is 90% for everyone but the celebrant. People just want a reason to slack off and eat! How much time is actually spent with the celebrant? Not much, just a couple close people do most of the actual socializing - walk by her and say Congrats! and grab all the cake, cookies, donuts you can carry!
Same with me. A group card is passed around along wth an envelope for donations, so no one knows if or how much you contributed. So far just one baby shower and the rest have been retirements. This all occurs during work hours so we get about 5 minutes to honour the person, grab a slice of cake and go back to our desks. Half the time i didnt even bother because someone has to answer the phones, but someone would always cme over to offer a slice of cake.
Another place i worked, there was an email distribution list for social events that you had to add your name to to get those notifications. That worked like a charm.
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) of participating in Facebook? Well, if so you will find those very similar to many of the participants on this thread who will click the 'like' button after reading some form of banality from one of their 'friends'. The majority of people are 'cookies' cut from the same mold and if one is not like them they are considered 'not to be normal'.
I truly hope there are no office parties awaiting you tomorrow.