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I have an aunt (by marriage, not a blood relative) who seems to do everything by a set schedule. For example, if you tell her you want to visit them over the summer, she will tell you which weekend you're coming. And you'd better be free, because the rest of their summer is booked solid. And when you get there, she has your entire weekend agenda all mapped out. Stuff like that. Typically, I find this mildly amusing and it doesn't bother me.
Until now, that is. We usually go for a family visit right after Christmas, which includes my aunt, uncle, three cousins & spouses, and four little kids. We stay in a hotel and the get togethers are typically at one of the cousin's homes. This was to be a one-night trip on Dec. 26.
My aunt emails us this morning, stating that plans are off because she and my uncle are leaving town at 4 AM on the 27th. I'm more than a little annoyed at this. I mean, we're not going there to visit JUST YOU. Her plans, in reality, don't affect ours in any way. And I'd bet money that my cousins know nothing about this.
I'm tempted to contact my cousins privately and see if we're still welcome, though I suspect my aunt would be annoyed if I did. But why should I be denied a family visit because of this? If the cousins can't accommodate us, that's a whole different thing, but I rather doubt this is the case.
I have an aunt (by marriage, not a blood relative) who seems to do everything by a set schedule. For example, if you tell her you want to visit them over the summer, she will tell you which weekend you're coming. And you'd better be free, because the rest of their summer is booked solid. And when you get there, she has your entire weekend agenda all mapped out. Stuff like that. Typically, I find this mildly amusing and it doesn't bother me.
Until now, that is. We usually go for a family visit right after Christmas, which includes my aunt, uncle, three cousins & spouses, and four little kids. We stay in a hotel and the get togethers are typically at one of the cousin's homes. This was to be a one-night trip on Dec. 26.
My aunt emails us this morning, stating that plans are off because she and my uncle are leaving town at 4 AM on the 27th. I'm more than a little annoyed at this. I mean, we're not going there to visit JUST YOU. Her plans, in reality, don't affect ours in any way. And I'd bet money that my cousins know nothing about this.
I'm tempted to contact my cousins privately and see if we're still welcome, though I suspect my aunt would be annoyed if I did. But why should I be denied a family visit because of this? If the cousins can't accommodate us, that's a whole different thing, but I rather doubt this is the case.
Email your cousins and confirm your plans with them. Then go!
Call the cousins and make sure that all, or some, of them are available for your visit and continue with your plans. Just because your aunt and uncle won't be around it is not a good reason to cancel.
If you're staying in a hotel, I don't see what the problem is. Just reply and state that your plans haven't changed (and won't, because of your own commitments), and you're disappointed that your schedules may not mesh, but you hope you get an opportunity to see her and uncle.
Go ahead and go visit your cousins. Your aunt has no power to determine who you visit or when. That's for you to decide. If she is annoyed, so what? Again, it's not her call. It is not her place to control any aspect of your life.
I'm tempted to contact my cousins privately and see if we're still welcome, though I suspect my aunt would be annoyed if I did. But why should I be denied a family visit because of this? If the cousins can't accommodate us, that's a whole different thing, but I rather doubt this is the case.
Don't be tempted; just do it. Contact the cousins. Are these her children? Tough beans if auntie doesn't like it.
I assume you were still planning to stay in a hotel this trip? Then no reason not to follow through.
Call the cousins and make sure that all, or some, of them are available for your visit and continue with your plans. Just because your aunt and uncle won't be around it is not a good reason to cancel.
^^^^this. After the visit email your control freak of aunt telling her how wonderful it was to see all the cousins and their family. Tell her you would love to see her and your uncle in the near future if your schedule permits.
I assume the cousin is still available to host so assuming you can confirm with them, then I see no reason why you should not attend. Your aunt’s availability has nothing to do with someone else’s house or hotel accommodations. Just say the hotel is booked and the plans are set at this point.
Why are you so afraid of your aunt? Is there money you are hoping to get from her? Otherwise, I can see no reason for her to dictate anything to you for any reason.
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