Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It is perfectly fine to congratulate her on winning her battle. If she wants to talk about it after that, let her. If she doesn't, that's fine too.
Since everyone in the family knows about her win over cancer, more than likely it's not the 'elephant in the room'. I think it would be more awkward to not even acknowledge her win.
Try not to stress over the visit.
She is amazing to get through it all. Beating cancer is huge.
Absolutely.
You say "So very nice to finally meet and so glad you're doing so well", I was in a similar situation years ago.
I live in CA and was visiting an old friend on the east coast whose SIL also had breast cancer and was now doing well, only met her once before. I gave her a hug and said how glad I was to hear she was doing so well. that was it. Everyone there knew what she had been through.
To say nothing to someone who beat cancer(like you said is huge) seems very insensitive.
Acknowledging what someone went through and that they came out the other side, isn't the same thing as launching into 20 questions about their health.
Breast cancer has, today, become such a major open public issue I'd be surprised if she DIDN'T talk about her journey.
Usually it's hugs all around, esp. if you're the same sex. I've just been through a four year journey with a lady diagnosed.
It seems to be everywhere. But let her lead, and there you go.
Breast cancer has, today, become such a major open public issue I'd be surprised if she DIDN'T talk about her journey.
Usually it's hugs all around, esp. if you're the same sex. I've just been through a four year journey with a lady diagnosed.
It seems to be everywhere. But let her lead, and there you go.
She doesn't know this woman so your example doesn't apply.
I know more than a few with/had cancer. They don't mention it. They think about it enough when they are alone.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,487 posts, read 3,340,243 times
Reputation: 9913
Going through treatment myself at this very moment, colon metastasis, I appreciate when people support me. Cancer is not for sissies. We are warriors in a fight. I will not shy away from my experiences.
I refuse to let it consume me, maybe I'm the oddball, but I will celebrate my win when it happens. Yes, it is always there but I can go for hours without thinking about it. In my circle of friends, we talk briefly about it then move on to more pleasurable discussions.
It really does depend on the person.
Editing to add: When I do talk about it, it reinforces my determination to beat this :censored: disease.
Regarding cancer, I think it very much depends on the person. I survived stage IV cancer in my early 20s and while it doesn't define me, the easiest way to tick me off is to not acknowledge it or try to avoid talking about it. I think a congratulations for doing so well would be appropriate, and then see from there. She may want to talk about it, she may not.
Otherwise, it's just like meeting any other new person.
From someone else that's met cousins for the first time, decades later . . . Just, "So good to finally meet you!"
I bet when you sit down and talk it'll be a group together, not one on one like you fear.
I do know that cancer survivors do eat more healthy. You might bring that up in a discussion -
I met my husbands niece for the first time after 12 years. She is about 6 years older than I & lives in another state.
She was considered the family “miracle baby” & I had certainly heard the unusual saga of her cancer survival many times. She had first tumor (brain) at age 4 & that was the start of a now 50+ year ongoing battle with recurrent cancers.
At one point, her mother was approached by “interested researchers” who had an offer: “Allow for pathology samples, tissue, etc ... to be allocated to them; in exchange for state-of-the-art, free medical care for her lifetime. All cancer treatment ... free.
She is currently on chemo. Two years ago when I met her she had just finished chemo. She’s spent more of her life on chemo than off & I felt awkward also, as if it were going to be this giant elephant in the room.
As it turned out; she had basically assumed I had been told. She was in the middle of talking about how happy she was to be getting a break from it when she stopped & looked over at me & asked “oh, you knew about all my cancer, right?” And that was it; no awkwardness at all.
What was the most unusual is that she seemed so unaware of how, well; unusual, her entire experience is.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,487 posts, read 3,340,243 times
Reputation: 9913
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi
I met my husbands niece for the first time after 12 years. She is about 6 years older than I & lives in another state.
She was considered the family “miracle baby” & I had certainly heard the unusual saga of her cancer survival many times. She had first tumor (brain) at age 4 & that was the start of a now 50+ year ongoing battle with recurrent cancers.
At one point, her mother was approached by “interested researchers” who had an offer: “Allow for pathology samples, tissue, etc ... to be allocated to them; in exchange for state-of-the-art, free medical care for her lifetime. All cancer treatment ... free.
She is currently on chemo. Two years ago when I met her she had just finished chemo. She’s spent more of her life on chemo than off & I felt awkward also, as if it were going to be this giant elephant in the room.
As it turned out; she had basically assumed I had been told. She was in the middle of talking about how happy she was to be getting a break from it when she stopped & looked over at me & asked “oh, you knew about all my cancer, right?” And that was it; no awkwardness at all.
What was the most unusual is that she seemed so unaware of how, well; unusual, her entire experience is.
I love your niece! Such a fighter and a survivor. Yes, even in the midst of battle, she IS surviving her cancer. Gives me hope! Even if I have to battle for years, that is years in which I can see my grandchildren grow and enjoy them.
She sounds like she has the right mindset. Yeah, we enjoy those breaks from chemo, mine come when my blood counts are too low, and I get an extra week off. Bliss! LOL!
Tell your niece that she has inspired at least one person....me!
From someone else that's met cousins for the first time, decades later . . . Just, "So good to finally meet you!"
I bet when you sit down and talk it'll be a group together, not one on one like you fear.
I do know that cancer survivors do eat more healthy. You might bring that up in a discussion -
As it turns out she became a vegan.
I admire her so much!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
