Niece wants to abort baby, her bf wants to keep baby. What to do? (business, member)
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The reason I am asking this question is because I have, whether I like or not, gotten in the middle of all this drama. My sister and her husband will not pay for the abortion despite the fact they want my niece to get an abortion. They are extremely upset that my niece got pregnant in the first place, and refuse to pitch in financially. So I am paying for the abortion and have been offering emotional support to my niece( who has been through some emotional issues). My sister and her husband engage in tough love parenting, I do not, which is why she calls me a lot and comes to my house daily.
My niece's bfs family has found out that I may pay for this abortion depending on niece's decision, and have begged me to not do it. They are nice people but they have also now dragged me into this drama. I am trying to butt out like I mentioned in the first post, but I am curious if anyone who has been through a similar situation and what advice would you give my niece or other family members?
You're what?!? Have you lost your mind? Why on earth would you put yourself in the middle of this?
Nobody, regardless of where they stand on abortion, should be putting themselves in the middle of this.
So the OP should let her niece who's upset and scared, who came to her for guidance, and who is getting different messages from all sides, be totally alone in this? It's family. Sometimes you have to step up.
So the OP should let her niece who's upset and scared, who came to her for guidance, and who is getting different messages from all sides, be totally alone in this? It's family. Sometimes you have to step up.
Offering emotional support is not the same thing as paying for someone else's abortion. I'm sorry, but I think she's nuts. It is reasonable to connect her niece with any and all available resources. It is quite another to write the check.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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It's funny to me how many strangers on the internet will insert themselves into an issue that's not their concern, and verbalize a strong and negative opinion, and tell a family member she should butt out.
Ironic really. Buncha buttinskis telling the aunt she should keep her mouth shut.
My niece is in a bit of a pickle. She is still very young, has a learning disability and suffered from severe depression in the past. In other words, she is not ready to be a mother. However, we just learned a month ago that she is pregnant, while my husband and I were initially excited, my older sister(my niece's mother) is livid as my niece still lives at home and has no way to support herself on her own yet, therefor it's likely that my sister and her husband will be taking care of the baby. They are getting old and don't have the energy to take care of another child, especially after raising seven children of their own. So my niece and sister decided it was best that my niece get an abortion.
My niece, however is still with the farther of the child, who wants to keep the baby. He comes from a more conservative religious background, so his folks are pressuring him to keep the baby and say they can help raise it. My niece's bf seems commmitted to getting his act together so he can take care of the child. He has a full time steady job, and may start renting an apartment where my niece and him could live. He desperately wants to keep the baby as does his parents.
Despite my niece's boyfriends gestures and his parents offer to raise the baby, my sister is still adamant that my niece should get an abortion and has gotten into some heated argument with my niece's bfs family. There is a cultural clash happening and I feel as though things can get ugly soon. What would you do if you were in this situation? I am personally trying to butt out and just support my niece on whatever choice she makes which is likely to get an abortion; but I am curious if someone has been through a similar situation.
Oh, he's willing to "help"?
I think your sister is right.
However, it would be interesting to present the boy's parents with a written contract saying that they will adopt the baby and shoulder the entire financial burden until the age of 18, including any problems that may arise from any inherited learning disability.
The decision is your niece's and hers alone. If you choose to pay for it, that's your decision. You can't pay for something she isn't going to do, and you can't convince her BF of anything.
While I'm sure it's a wildly unpopular notion to many, where does marriage fit into this scenario? It's amazing that we've gotten so far astray in our morality that marriage is barely considered an issue before having babies.
Of course there's a MYOB element here, and this should be between the niece and her boyfriend, but, it sounds like she is getting only extremely biased guidance in life.
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