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I've always been nice as pie to those I was friends on Facebook with, and I believe I rarely posted much. Mainly vacation stuff, best wishes around the holidays, and a few pictures when I lost a lot of weight. I remember getting snide comments from my MIL about us traveling so much (actually, I was traveling a lot on business, and we rarely traveled for pleasure because I was so busy), and I got a few snide comments after I lost weight (some supportive comments too, but the snide comments were a bit much). My most recent Facebook post was basically an apology for not reaching out like I typically do over the holidays because I wasn't feeling the best physically or emotionally. What really stood out was no one picked up the slack and actually reached out to me during this time. What I got in response was unsolicited, kind of snarky advice from my so called friends with advice on how I am not working out enough, not enough power foods, need to get a new hair style to feel better, etc.
Based on the accumulation of negative interactions, I said to myself it is time...and deactivated FAKEBOOK. During that time, I was pregnant and miscarried (which was why I was not feeling good - I was in the process of a early miscarriage). Since then, I became pregnant again, this time baby is doing great and I am in my 2nd trimester with her. They had no idea what was going on behind the scenes, but instead of saying hope you feel better soon, they give me unsolicited advice. None of them know I am pregnant, and not sure I am really going to reach out to people to tell them about this one. I guess I am partially afraid due to my negative FAKEBOOK experience, but it also taught me people can be harsh and mean, maybe it is best to not even bother if you are not going to be in a supportive environment. FAKEBOOK is not it!
I don’t have a Facebook account for the exact reason OP mentioned, but I’ve looked over the shoulder of a friend’s account. I’ve seen my friends and acquaintances post smiling pictures of their children and chirpy captions and posts and was jealous that they seemed so happy. I couldn’t imagine any of them getting angry, looking angry, or feeling regret, envy, jealousy, insecure, bad about themselves, or any bad emotions. then I wondered how they could be positive and happy ALL the time.
I am really glad I never joined. I would be destroyed by jealousy.
IDK I ahve been posting all week about my dog that I had to put to sleep on Monday. My friends on FB have been wonderful support in a time that is for me very hard. My freinds are real. We all share our lives good or bad. If my friends are having happy lives and doing things that I could never do I enjoy sharing their experiences through thir posts and I hope that when I share good things they get the same benefit.
I think that what you get out of Facebook is largly what you expect to get out of it. If it makes you feel bad about yourself then you probably should look into why that is and what you need to fix in your own life. If you are bothered by what your friends post, ask yourself why you are friends. Facebook makes it pretty easy to control what you see.
Ifyour friends are unkind, unsupportive and rude, you might just need to ditch them and get some new friends. That isn't Facebooks fault, that is what you are allowing into your life.
Studies have proven that Facebook actually makes people feel worse about their own lives since everyone seems to be having a great time out there, but when you're not, do you a) withdraw from social media, b) post "memories" from happier times, c) fake it till you make it, or d) post confessionals, baring your soul?
Comparing yourself to others is a soul destroying activity.
If you see friends having a wonderful time on a trip, be happy for them. If they are proud of their children, be happy for them.
Here's the thing. Facebook is nothing more than a gigantic digital cocktail party, one where most of your friends and acquaintances get invited, catch up, and go home. I mean, you wouldn't go to a cocktail party and talk about the latest trainwreck in your life, would you? Of course not.
Anytime one reaches for one's smartphone in the presence of others, it detracts from the shared moment at hand.
That's just it, you don't know when the pics are posted. I post often on vacation. And guess what, usually I'm posting from my bed that night while I have some downtime. Plus I like my pics to tell a story and not flood my friends timeline at the same time.
I have gone on a FB fast for the past 6 months, and it is WONDERFUL. All the time I wasted replying to inane comments, all the people I don't really care about....all that social scene-y stuff has just vanished from my life. I have done more reading, had more contact with those who are truly important in my life, and I no longer compare myself to my more glamorous friends. I recommend it to EVERYONE. Anyway, FB is a joke. I loved Myspace- at least there I learned some HTML, made lots of friends I still have and you could write blogs and post music, etc....FB is like a dumbed down, colorless version of Myspace, and I never truly cottoned to it.
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