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Your friend sure has a a bit set of gonads, but since it seems you're willing to do the favour for them, I'd make sure they'll actually release the luggage to you. Anyone could phone up and say so and so is coming to pick up my bags, please give them to him/her.
As others have said, if the sister can't be bothered looking up the phone # I'd be very inclined to let them figure out how to get the bags themselves.
I have had a friend since 1978 who works in Washington. He is about 60, and he has a mother and older sister who don't drive. They live in the New York area, as do I. My friend's sister and mother were traveling to Washington last weekend and left their luggage and New Rochelle's Amtrak station. Tonight my friend's sister received a call to the effect that the luggage was at the security office at the station in New Rochelle, about a 30 minute drive.
He asked me "certainly no emergency, can you pick the luggage up in New Rochelle. I told my friend to call the office in New Rochelle and fax or email them permission for me to pick up the luggage. He said his sister hadn't gotten the number, and would I pick up her sister and drive her to New Rochelle, and back home. I said "I just don't have four hours to spare" this weekend.
Is he asking too much?
I think I would say, "Well, let me know when she has contacted them, and I will be happy to pick it up."
There's nothing wrong with asking a friend to do a favor, but it's definitely poor form not to make that favor as easy as possible.
I have had a friend since 1978 who works in Washington. He is about 60, and he has a mother and older sister who don't drive. They live in the New York area, as do I. My friend's sister and mother were traveling to Washington last weekend and left their luggage and New Rochelle's Amtrak station. Tonight my friend's sister received a call to the effect that the luggage was at the security office at the station in New Rochelle, about a 30 minute drive.
He asked me "certainly no emergency, can you pick the luggage up in New Rochelle. I told my friend to call the office in New Rochelle and fax or email them permission for me to pick up the luggage. He said his sister hadn't gotten the number, and would I pick up her sister and drive her to New Rochelle, and back home. I said "I just don't have four hours to spare" this weekend.
Is he asking too much?
So flip it in reverse if you left your luggage on a train in Washington while visiting a friend. Would you want his mother and or sister to drive 30 min to hold onto it.
I would suggest your answer to that question should be the same as to your initial one.
I have had a friend since 1978 who works in Washington. He is about 60, and he has a mother and older sister who don't drive. They live in the New York area, as do I. My friend's sister and mother were traveling to Washington last weekend and left their luggage and New Rochelle's Amtrak station. Tonight my friend's sister received a call to the effect that the luggage was at the security office at the station in New Rochelle, about a 30 minute drive.
He asked me "certainly no emergency, can you pick the luggage up in New Rochelle. I told my friend to call the office in New Rochelle and fax or email them permission for me to pick up the luggage. He said his sister hadn't gotten the number, and would I pick up her sister and drive her to New Rochelle, and back home. I said "I just don't have four hours to spare" this weekend.
Is he asking too much?
It's up to you really.
If it really would take 4 hours, then it's a lot to ask.
Generally, I would do it if I had the time if the person was nice, maybe even if weren't even that close, just to do a nice thing. But most people wouldn't I imagine.
I'm kind of weird though. I wouldn't ask for the favor back. If I just had heart surgery, I'd probably try and drive myself before I even asked my mother to pick me up even tho she lives 30 miles away.
If you're trying to decide if it's a lot to ask, yes it is a lot to ask in general.
If you're trying to decide whether he would do the same for you, that nobody knows.
I agree that something is fishy about the sister's supposed laziness.
On the other hand, back in my college days, I would help people move on average about 2-3 times per year - that usually took more than 4 hours and was way more physical work than driving.
So...the actual favor doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
I agree that something is fishy about the sister's supposed laziness.
On the other hand, back in my college days, I would help people move on average about 2-3 times per year - that usually took more than 4 hours and was way more physical work than driving.
So...the actual favor doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
Helping your friends move represents spending time with your friends as well though.
It'd be a little different if the guy asked you to help his sister or mother move. Then, you're asking for the favor PLUS the awkwardness of picking up somebody you don't know and moving all of their sh@t.
I mean, SOME people give rides for free to cancer patients to chemotherapy who are total strangers, but that's not really what the OP is asking.
In a sense, charity and volunteering is different from what friends should ask for favors.
This is very strange. How do you accidentally forget your luggage in a train station? Do both of them have dementia?
Do they live near the train station? How did they get there in the first place? Can't they just call an Uber or Lyfft to drive them? Can't the friend arrange an Uber or Lyfft to drive them?
Why is he using you as a taxi service?
I also do not understand why they abandoned the luggage when they arrived, why didn't they take it with them?
There's something interesting in the luggage and they're looking for a patsy to claim it, so they don't risk getting thrown in the slammer. Body parts or cocaine. Whatever it is, there's a lot of it.
I think I would say, "Well, let me know when she has contacted them, and I will be happy to pick it up."
There's nothing wrong with asking a friend to do a favor, but it's definitely poor form not to make that favor as easy as possible.
I don't think 4 hours of time is too much to ask a friend of 40 years (if it's a GOOD friend that you're close to that would do the same for you).
But I agree with Catgirl that it's bad that they're not making the favor as easy as possible for you. It wouldn't take long to make a phone call to get permission for you to pick up the luggage, so why can't they do it? I assume they just don't want to have to take the time/make the effort to pick up the luggage from you?
I don't think a good friend would expect you to be extra inconvenienced to make things more convenient for them when you're doing them a favor.
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