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What I mean by this post is when you have a set of friends that you have to do all the calling , picking a date and place to go eat at and then you don't hear from them unless you call . I think people like this make being friends work as in tedious and aggravating . I just wonder why some treat friendships like this .
I'd suspect that this "friendship" with you simply isn't as important to them as it is to you. They don't consider what you might want to do. Their own wishes come first.
What I mean by this post is when you have a set of friends that you have to do all the calling , picking a date and place to go eat at and then you don't hear from them unless you call . I think people like this make being friends work as in tedious and aggravating . I just wonder why some treat friendships like this .
I just wonder why some treat friendships like this .....Because in the end...those types of people are NOT real friends...just users.Friendship shouldn't be that difficult.
What I mean by this post is when you have a set of friends that you have to do all the calling , picking a date and place to go eat at and then you don't hear from them unless you call . I think people like this make being friends work as in tedious and aggravating . I just wonder why some treat friendships like this .
I'd suspect that this "friendship" with you simply isn't as important to them as it is to you. They don't consider what you might want to do. Their own wishes come first.
I think OP is more talking about people who are fun to hang out with and are generally reliable ... but don't make an effort to make plans, or pick fun things to do.
I have a friend like this. Whenever we agree to go to a concert, I always put in the effort of picking buying the tickets, and getting the seats. But when we go, he shows up and it's generally a good time. If I didn't make the effort, we'd still end up hanging out but probably drinking beers or something.
Not only are certain friends like this, but people you date and marry are like this too.
I guarantee you tons of people here have wives/husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends that have frustrated them because they're always the ones making the plans.
I think OP is more talking about people who are fun to hang out with and are generally reliable ... but don't make an effort to make plans, or pick fun things to do.
I have a friend like this. Whenever we agree to go to a concert, I always put in the effort of picking buying the tickets, and getting the seats. But when we go, he shows up and it's generally a good time. If I didn't make the effort, we'd still end up hanging out but probably drinking beers or something.
Not only are certain friends like this, but people you date and marry are like this too.
I guarantee you tons of people here have wives/husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends that have frustrated them because they're always the ones making the plans.
some are followers...others lead.
A balance in a healthy relationship would be the integration of these tasks by the parties involved.
I tend to enjoy planning and working out the minimal details. But by golly am I ever lenient on "time" and such. I can't stand things being timed to the umpteenth second! No one likes to be rushed or held to a clock when the pleasure is lost because of the stress.
My friends know I have some flaws...ever so thank ful they work around it. Im loyal and a person of my word. But time...yeah that one gets me.....
What I mean by this post is when you have a set of friends that you have to do all the calling , picking a date and place to go eat at and then you don't hear from them unless you call . I think people like this make being friends work as in tedious and aggravating . I just wonder why some treat friendships like this .
Are you flexible, OP? Have you refused an invitation before because of your schedule or other necessary obligations?
My social rule is that the least flexible person has to communicate the most. That doesn't mean they have to make the plans. They just have to show they are available.
One of my oldest and dearest friend is like that. We lost touch for quite a few years because I was busy and couldn't keep up with the friendship. When we're together, we just pick up where we left off. We don't have to talk every day or every week. If I miss her, I call. She's more of an introvert busy with her grand kids. I accept her the way she is, and I also know that if I call her for help, she will be there. That's more important to me then who calls who to get together. We may only see each other a couple of times a year, but it's quality time. Friendships don't have to be hard if you just accept that the other person doesn't always fit a narrow definition of what a friend should be.
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