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If you have seen my earlier posts. my best friend fells like I betrayed her by confronting my other best friends husband about hitting on her. Not that it matters I didn't promise I wouldn't say anything. I just said I wouldn't which are really Symantec's and I know that.
Anyway it's been over 2 months. I think things are a little better but she is still hanging this over my head. We are for an evening and she asks a friend that I have actually have known longer then her but we are not as close to go outside and talk. Totally making me feel excluded.
I talked with her husband. Told him I don't think she is ever going to forgive me. He said (I already knew about this) that he was talking with a girl online (never had any physical contact) and she still hasn't forgiven him. No matter what he does.
I have sincerely apologized to her several times. Told her I understand what I did and that I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship again. It means too much to me but no matter what I do she still won't forgive me.
I guess I have to add last week she was having problems with her husband and she called me at 10 o'clock and I spent 2 hours talking to her. Then she called me at 3 in the morning and I talked with her again. The next day she asked men to order a present for her Mom which I did. So I feel like she thinks I'm good enough for that but not good enough to forgive me and try and get things back to the way they were.
Last edited by hat trick; 10-12-2018 at 05:07 PM..
Reason: more detail
WHAT do you think we're going to tell you that wasn't covered the first couple of times?
How long do you wait? As long as she likes to make you beg, squirm and dance. And she likes to make you beg, squirm and dance.
Please learn to put a blank line between your paragraphs (I'll give you credit that this is already an improvement over your previous posts) or half the responses will be telling you they won't read it.
When you come to the end of a paragraph, simply hit shift-return-shift-return and it will skip a line for you. The easier you make it for people to read, the more likely they will read.
And my point about your friend is – she's unlikely to change. She's using you and you are allowing it. She is not treating you as a friend – especially a best friend – should treat you.
Only you can change that.
Don't answer the phone at night – especially at 3am – and allow her your ear. Do not order something for her mother just because she asks you to do so. You're giving her all the power and she's grabbing it with both hands. She's having a great time and you're miserable. Sounds like her husband kowtows to her, too. She's got it made in the shade.
Try ignoring her for awhile and simply saying, "No, I can't do that." Don't explain. Don't apologize anymore.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 5 days ago)
35,620 posts, read 17,948,343 times
Reputation: 50641
There are two parts to this.
You betrayed her, for some reason. For some reason, you thought that telling her you would keep her secret didn't really mean that - you didn't promise, after all. Uh no. You betrayed her and you knew you were doing it when you did it.
Secondly, I agree with the others. She likes to have people squirm, and she likes to have the upper hand.
If I were you I'd end this friendship, and learn the lesson of not betraying friends in the future.
Your first few sentences are providing excuses: "symantics" and "I didn't promise." This indicates to me that you really don't understand.
And stay out of the marital troubles of your friends. They sound like quite the bunch: one husband hitting on another friend's wife; another husband chatting up girls online; your friend not wanting her husband to know about being hit on.
Frankly, I think the BFF came on to the other friend's husband; not the other way around. She's shown herself as a master manipulator in OP's other examples.
Did he admit it or deny it, OP, when you confronted him?
Regardless, OP should have stayed out of it. She had no business "confronting" the husband.
I do understand what I did was wrong. I meant that even though I didn't promise I still broke my word.
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