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Seriously! The answer is simple: OP shouldn't have guests. There's no law that says one must. Or she should only invite very specific (non-hirsute) people to stay with her and say no to anyone else. One can't control other people, but one can control who comes and stays.
I think the OP is frustrated with, and also, in view of the new baby she's nursing, tired of hosting relatives who assume they can stay for weeks on end for free, without helping out in any way, basically using the occasion of the baby's birth to justify a weeks-long vacation.
These people are already complaining about being housed separately from the OP and her immediate family, and they've been critical in the past of the fact that the OP and her husband have chosen to hire cleaning help for their home, instead of her doing all the weekly cleaning, as a traditional wife would. She's overwhelmed with the expectations (not to mention: the rudeness) her SO's many relatives bring with them. Viewing the OP's rant in the broader context of everything she's dealing with is helpful, IMO.
I think the OP is frustrated with, and also, in view of the new baby she's nursing, tired of hosting relatives who assume they can stay for weeks on end for free, without helping out in any way, basically using the occasion of the baby's birth to justify a weeks-long vacation.
These people are already complaining about being housed separately from the OP and her immediate family, and they've been critical in the past of the fact that the OP and her husband have chosen to hire cleaning help for their home, instead of her doing all the weekly cleaning, as a traditional wife would. She's overwhelmed with the expectations (not to mention: the rudeness) her SO's many relatives bring with them. Viewing the OP's rant in the broader context of everything she's dealing with is helpful, IMO.
Nothing wrong with telling prospective guests that you'd prefer they get a hotel room.
Regardless of the reason(s), the OP just isn't cut out to host guests.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I don't have time to read quite all of the 11 pages of posts, however, I can attest to the fact that this is precisely WHY I stay at hotels, and NOT Airbnb hosts' homes.
At a hotel, it's nothing personal if you don't wipe down the shower. If I had to pick up after myself, I might as well be at home saving money. If I'm paying exorbitant rates for a full service hotel room and room service, I'm not helping the maids (who ARE paid) do their jobs. (I do believe they should get paid a little more than what I hear they make, because retaining good people who can do a good job on EVERY room is important, but that's a separate thread)
I don't make a "mess" per se, I do place all towels together on the bathroom floor as most hotels ask of you, I place all trash in cans, and have a personal habit of wiping down the bathroom counter, but shower? Absolutely not. My logic is if I'm paying the same every night, each night I return, I should see the room as a new room - restocked and refreshed.
I think the OP is frustrated with, and also, in view of the new baby she's nursing, tired of hosting relatives who assume they can stay for weeks on end for free, without helping out in any way, basically using the occasion of the baby's birth to justify a weeks-long vacation.
These people are already complaining about being housed separately from the OP and her immediate family, and they've been critical in the past of the fact that the OP and her husband have chosen to hire cleaning help for their home, instead of her doing all the weekly cleaning, as a traditional wife would. She's overwhelmed with the expectations (not to mention: the rudeness) her SO's many relatives bring with them. Viewing the OP's rant in the broader context of everything she's dealing with is helpful, IMO.
Most of us have been there, though.
Any parent has their own version of this scenario. That's why so many of us are frustrated with her insistence that her way is the right way. It's not a mindset that's going to serve her and her family well as the years go by.
When you have babies, and especially when you have extended family in a foreign country, compassion and a more relaxed approach to life are required. You just can't lose your **** over hair in the tub.
I don't have time to read quite all of the 11 pages of posts, however, I can attest to the fact that this is precisely WHY I stay at hotels, and NOT Airbnb hosts' homes.
At a hotel, it's nothing personal if you don't wipe down the shower. If I had to pick up after myself, I might as well be at home saving money. If I'm paying exorbitant rates for a full service hotel room and room service, I'm not helping the maids (who ARE paid) do their jobs. (I do believe they should get paid a little more than what I hear they make, because retaining good people who can do a good job on EVERY room is important, but that's a separate thread)
I don't make a "mess" per se, I do place all towels together on the bathroom floor as most hotels ask of you, I place all trash in cans, and have a personal habit of wiping down the bathroom counter, but shower? Absolutely not. My logic is if I'm paying the same every night, each night I return, I should see the room as a new room - restocked and refreshed.
I've stayed in airbnb and other similiar rentals. I've never wiped down the shower, and have always been thanked by the homeowners for leaving the place clean. I do the same as you do in a hotel, I put the trash where it needs to go, towels all go in a pile on the bathroom floor, and I might do a quick wipe down of the counters with the towel I just used to dry my hands. I don't sweep floors, clean the bathrooms, or do any other household chores.
I help my dad manage his vacation rentals. I wpupd never expect anyone to clean the bathroom. The only thing I expect guests to do is put trash in the trashcans, flush toilets, and rinse off their plates. They don't even need to put their plates in the dishwasher, just don't leave seem old food hardened on the plates.
I think the OP is frustrated with, and also, in view of the new baby she's nursing, tired of hosting relatives who assume they can stay for weeks on end for free, without helping out in any way, basically using the occasion of the baby's birth to justify a weeks-long vacation.
These people are already complaining about being housed separately from the OP and her immediate family, and they've been critical in the past of the fact that the OP and her husband have chosen to hire cleaning help for their home, instead of her doing all the weekly cleaning, as a traditional wife would. She's overwhelmed with the expectations (not to mention: the rudeness) her SO's many relatives bring with them. Viewing the OP's rant in the broader context of everything she's dealing with is helpful, IMO.
I agree. I remember how exhausted I was after my two children were born. I certainly couldn't ever imagine hosting relative after relative, many staying for two or more weeks,who expected me(the new mother)to cater to them, take care of them, cook for them, clean for them and entertain them. To me that is absolutely crazy! That is so unfair to new parents.
After our first child was born my MIL moved in to our home for three weeks (at our request). She basically took over everything, except for breast feeding the newborn. She cooked, she cleaned, she did the family laundry, she went grocery shopping, she ran errands, etc. etc. If I needed a nap she watched the baby. It was a wonderful way to recover from a C-section and a hard pregnancy. Now we had a few other weekend visitors during the first year of our baby's life, but no one else ever stayed at our house and no one expected the new parents to cater to them.
My MIL also stayed with us for two weeks after our second child was born (again, at our request). Again, she did ALL of the hard work around the house, which allowed me to recover better from my C-section and my husband to bond better with his children.
Location: Was Midvalley Oregon; Now Eastside Seattle area
13,073 posts, read 7,515,583 times
Reputation: 9798
Another one of those posts that get readership and replys. OP congratulations.
May I suggest that you put up a sign for your guests. "Leave no hares behind least they will hare from you."
The problem is more about communication & agreement between OP & spouse than guest hair left behind in a tub.
It sounds like she does not want to host family guests, period.
I think it ridiculous to not hire cleaning following the stay of guests -paying or nonpaying- anywhere paying guests will later be staying. If OP can not afford to do that, then should not let non-paying guests stay there.
Who'd have thought that bathtub hair could capture our collective attention to this extent ...
OP thinks we were all born in a barn.
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