Breaking the news to friends (housing, how many, location, county) - Other Topics - City-Data Forum

PDXmom · 02-05-2007, 08:06 PM

For those of you whom have moved or are planning to move, how did it go when you broke the news to your friends and family at "home" that you were packing up and moving. Any tips on how to break it gently? I kind of feel like a traitor. Anyone else felt that way?

Desdemona123 · 02-05-2007, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PDXmom

For those of you whom have moved or are planning to move, how did it go when you broke the news to your friends and family at "home" that you were packing up and moving. Any tips on how to break it gently? I kind of feel like a traitor. Anyone else felt that way?

Mention it first as a 'possibility'.....not a sure thing. A few days later say, "Hey, remember when I mentioned that X's job was thinking of transferring? Well, it's happened, we're moving to NC."

Then be prepared to answer all sorts of silly question about the schools actually being up to 20th century (never mine 21st century) standards.

cassy1 · 02-05-2007, 08:54 PM

My family went into denial, it was so hard to watch. I had everyone in right from the beginning so they knew the house was on the market, we had been interviewing out of state, etc. When the house sold and my hubby accepted the new position in the same week, well we all went into shock. I figured the good Lord wanted me in NC for a reason, so here we are! Family are all doing well now, kinda a hard thing though. I think some of my friends are still waiting for us to come back. Good luck.

kmflan · 02-05-2007, 09:13 PM

We moved away from "home" 14 years ago taking the only grandchildren with us.
They took it reasonably well all things considered- threw a big party so everyone could say goodbye all at once. Then we all cried like babies when we pulled out of the driveway for the last time. Since then, the family has always wanted us to move back. Some times there were annoying about it, but most of the time not. I'd say that we all handled it amazingly well. We did make a point to visit once a year though, which helped.

Now, moving to Raleigh will be moving back home, or at least closer to it...and closer to the ocean

Need_affordable_home · 02-06-2007, 01:36 AM

I already told my parents I am leaving south FL, but that they were welcomed to relocate with me. My brother and sister are in UF in Gainsville and we dont see them for months. I will visit my parents regularly unless they get sick of south FL too and join me in the new, better location

nclover · 02-06-2007, 06:59 AM

We have lived here for over ten years and my friends up north still ask "when are you coming home?". It is very difficult to be away from family and friends but have made fantastic friends who are like family down here.

CAKD · 02-06-2007, 08:14 AM

We mentioned the possibility first. Then we took a 6 week trip over Summer in which Dh interviewed and accepted the job transfer. Called and told family. Called our realtor and placed the house up for sale. The day after we got home we went out to lunch with our closest friends and dropped the bomb. Most of them expected it after we had told them about the possibility earlier. OUr home sold quickly and we moved 3 weeks later. OUr friends and family gave us a huge going away party. Goodbyes were extrememly hard. Even harder was having my kids break down crying as we pulled away from the house for the last time. I get choked up now 5 months later just thinking about that.

leighbhe · 02-06-2007, 08:17 AM

I will give you perspective from the "other side", my sister moved away before she got married because her then boyfriend got the job of his dreams in new hampshire. It was helpful for us because she was talking about it before hand. Telling us what they were thinking, what their options might be, the timeline, etc. So, when it came down to it, we knew they were going to leave and we were prepared! But, I have to say, we were those people who kept saying, when are you coming home! I think that might have been the wrong thing to do because she never really felt like she was "home" in new hampshire, and once they were married and had kids, they did move back (it took 6 years).

anyhow, I think the more people know the better off they will be in the long run.

Leigh

searchermom · 02-06-2007, 10:10 AM

It was very hard to tell my family, especially my mother - who (when I mentioned it was a possibility) said, "That's horrible!" and cried - still does 3 months later, and refuses to believe that there could be anything nice about living in NC, other than more affordable housing! We are still in the process of putting our house on the market, and plan to move in about 3 months. Others were very positive, though. I can't count how many said, "oh, what a great place to live, it's beautiful, I'm so excited for you, etc. etc." I'm hoping people will come to visit us, and we plan to visit at least once a year.

It will be hard to leave family and good friends. It's been very good to have this time together, with everyone knowing we'll be leaving - making a point to spend lots of quality time with the people we love.

PDXmom · 02-06-2007, 10:57 AM

Thank you for all the suggestions and your stories. I'm lucky in that I'm originally from NC so my family is there and I do have some friends from high school there. But I've been in Oregon for so long that this has come to feel like home. And I know some of my friends are just going to freak out. A good friend of mine's husband is always going on about how growth is unchecked in NC and mass transient is non-exsistent.

Not looking forward to telling them. (Yes, we have urban density snobs here. I use to be one.)

But Desdemona's comment about the questions about schools got me laughing. I've told one friend who is a middle school teacher here in Oregon. And he kept going on about how Oregon's SAT scores are the highest in the country and NC is traditionally low. Of course I had compared some county stats that I got right here on this board thanks to all of you good folks to some stats from my current county.

I'm trying to make the rest of the school year as normal as possible for my kids. So I dread telling some of my friends who have kids in the same schools as my kids. I just don't want it to be the only thing we discuss for the next 3 -4 months, especially for the sake of my kids.

Thanks again for all great stories and help. I'm looking forward to a year from now when I can look back and say "Whew. We made it and that wasn't so bad."