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My 11 year old son has a messy eating style. For example, he'll dip his hamburger into his catsup instead of putting the catsup on his burger directly, and then the catsup will end up on his fingers from the dipping, and on his face from eating food that has catsup all over the outside, or he'll stick his fingers into a chicken drum stick and dip the chicken into his sauce (he started putting blue cheese dressing on chicken, or rather, chicken in blue cheese dressing).
Every time I try to correct or show him, my husband, my mother, his aunt, etc (whoever else is eating with us), will tell me to let him be, so my son now thinks that the way he eats is fine, and that I am just picky.
He's always eaten in a messy way, however, he's been into sauces lately, which is messy for him, plus as he gets older, I notice it more.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I am concerned about kids at school starting to notice and his friend's parents judging him.
Last edited by Reneeme; 07-31-2010 at 10:34 PM..
Reason: error
I have a thing about table manners too. I can't stand bad table manners, and I'm sure I drive my children crazy with my constant "chew with your mouth closed." Here's my suggestion. Take a video of him eating and show him how he looks.
he shouldn't have to worry too much about it at home, but sooner or later he will have to go out to eat, or be in social situations where he should know how to eat without making a mess. if it is that big a deal for you tell your mother, and his aunt to back off, they don't have to agree with how you parent but they shouldn't be dismissing your attempts at teaching your child. you should also have back up w/your husband. you will have to find a way to motivate your son into trying to get in the habit of being less sloppy when he eats. my kid was motivated by money, or some great toy he wants. perhaps you can reward him with 50 bucks if he can manage to eat right for several months. hopefully after that length of time it will be habit
It drove me nuts when I would try to teach the kids manners when they were little and my DH would say "who cares" until he started to have to travel for work and ended up eating at some pretty expensive restaurants. I grew up in a family that concentrated on manners, using the right fork, etc. and he didn't. Once he started needing to know some of those niceties, his attitude changed. I would talk to your DH about the importance of table manners and the fact that he is going into middle school and will get teased for being a pig when he eats (that should help). For anyone else, I would tell them that this is how you are raising your children and drop it.
Uhm.
Aren't you suppose to dip chicken wings in blue cheese?
I have NEVER seen anyone pour blue cheese onto a chicken wing.
Chicken tenders, chicken nuggets, wings....you dip all those into the sauce.
You're one of those people who eats pizza with a knife and fork don't you....
He doesn't dip chicken wings into the sauce, he sticks his fingers all the way into the piece of chicken, pulls out a small piece of chicken, and then dips the small piece into the sauce! His fingers go into the sauce with the small piece of chicken, and the sauce gets all over his fingers. He eats the skin like this piece by piece too. Oh, then he takes a napkin and dabs sauce to clean it from the table (which doesn't really work because he dabs it), and then leaves the sauce all over his hand.
I do not eat pizza with a fork. You must be one of the people that tells me to stop trying to get my child to eat right!
Last edited by Reneeme; 08-01-2010 at 07:15 AM..
Reason: error
Thank you nana053, lucygirl051, hothulamaui, and golfgal for the great suggestions!
I have considered finding a manners school, although I probably can't afford it (it would sure motivate my child to eat right though!).
I really like the video idea. I'll have to see if I can find a way to do that without my son knowing!
It doesn't really bother me when he eats messy at home and nobody is there to see it, except I now realize he eats that way all of the time, even when we are out or have company. I like the idea of having a motivator, I'll have to give that one some thought too.
golfgal, that is good that your husband ended up needing to be more concerned about the situation. I will have to talk to my husband. Starting the process of signing my son up for manners school might motivate my husband (I am guessing that he would not want me to spend money on manners school!).
It sounds like you're serving him a lot of fingerfoods, and getting annoyed that he assumes all foods are finger foods. How about - no more pizza, no more drumsticks, no more burgers - and make him food that directly involves the use of a fork and knife. Like, meatloaf. Stew. Ravioli. Things that, if he were to try and pick it up with his fingers, would be hot, and cause him to have to put them right back down again and spear with a fork.
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