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I didn't honestly think about the "naming" part when I thought about babies, because as naive as it sounds I always assumed my first baby would be a girl(to which I had several names picked out, and so did he). We both thought this baby was going to be a girl.
Now on hindsight I do realize that the name discussion was probably more important than I thought. We had always covered parenting, our philosophies, etc, etc, prior to the pregnancy. we never talked about names.
Hmmm, I'm not sure what I would have done had he been against the name I chose for the girl. But knowing me I'm sure I would have tried my best to compromise. Usually he compromises as well, but for some reason with this name he is not willing to. It's bizarre really.
TBH I never thought Clarence was a horrible name. We actually call him Lee, since he is a third. So I never really called him by Clarence or thought about Clarence. It's always been "Lee". It wasn't until I started telling people that Clarence Lee would be the name, and got negative reactions that I started feeling embarrassed and yucky about the name. I mean not a one person I know likes this name. I just feel like I'm not getting support. It doesn't help that tonight right before I talked to my fiance, my dad told me "Please don't name your baby Clarence. He will not be able to get a job. It's country. And it's not a good name. Name him Stokley. Stokley has character."
And then I have my mom on the other hand, telling EVERYONE she knows, "The baby's name is Leland. Leland is going places." She tells this to everybody, even though I've told her several times that this may not be the baby's name.
My sister in law cringed and said, "Name the baby Jace, or Jaxxon. Clarence isn't a cute name"
Maybe that's the real problem? It's not necessarily the name that I'm bothered by, but the lack of support, and feeling as if people are saying that Clarence won't go places, or that Clarence is not a good enough name. And maybe that's why I feel that way about the name now?
NO ONE gets to name the baby except you and your fiance! It doesn't matter what anyone else in your family thinks. Please get that through your head. You are going to get married, and you better learn now that your husband's feelings and opinions outweigh the rest of your family from now on, especially on this topic.
Jaxxon looks uneducated, like you don't know how to spell. That would look way worse on a resume than Clarence Lee III.
I have not read the entire thread, but since you are not married, I don't think your fiance has any rights to name the baby at all. Just name him what ever you want.
As I have matured, I have grown more warm and fuzzy over keeping the traditions of family names going. However, if you don't get married, and baby daddy moves on, then you are stuck with a kid named Clarence.
that's a horrible thing to say.
Even if that did happen, there have been many good nicknames suggested. If the kid goes by Lance or Clay, she could legally change it to that later if she wanted.
Since she agreed to it however, I see no good way out of it since the father is stuck on it. It is disappointing the father is so firm on this position, but I think that says something about him (not positive in my view).
Honestly, I agree with this. But I'm also giving the OP the benefit of the doubt. I'm assuming that if this had been a girl, she would have been open-minded and considered her FI's opinion about the name.
FWIW I asked my husband last night and he said without hesitation that dad wins on this one, both because of the agreement, and because of the family tradition.
I have not read the entire thread, but since you are not married, I don't think your fiance has any rights to name the baby at all. Just name him what ever you want.
As I have matured, I have grown more warm and fuzzy over keeping the traditions of family names going. However, if you don't get married, and baby daddy moves on, then you are stuck with a kid named Clarence.
At first thought, I considered this harsh. But, honestly, there is some truth to it. Has the OP set a wedding date? It would be horrible if the name thing caused a break-up, but I've seen relationships dissolve over less. It would be a terrible thing to have a child with a name the custodial parent abhorred.
I don't like the name. But, rejecting the name could seem like a rejection of the fiance, who also bears it. I can see his side of it.
I personally don't care for my husband's name. I don't even like his nickname. But, I insisted it be the middle name of our eldest son, because to do any less seemed like a slap to DH.
I have not read the entire thread, but since you are not married, I don't think your fiance has any rights to name the baby at all. Just name him what ever you want.
As I have matured, I have grown more warm and fuzzy over keeping the traditions of family names going. However, if you don't get married, and baby daddy moves on, then you are stuck with a kid named Clarence.
They're engaged, so I think optimism is warranted. However ... yeah. My sister-in-law named her son after his dad, who is part of long line of men with the same first name but different middle names, and they all go by their middle names. She didn't like the first name, and after they divorced, she really didn't like it because she really didn't like HIM. So she had her son's name changed to what she wanted in the first place, and I think she said it cost her about $1500. His former middle name is his new first name, and he has a new middle name and her last name.
I don't think this is the case with the OP. I'm just telling a story.
I don't think it's an ugly name, I think that asking him to give up his family tradition on his first son is not fair...you got with him when you knew he was a Clarence Lee III...you love him and wanted a family with him, so you two made the deal, gotta stick to your guns. Maybe you could tell your bf you want to nickname him C-Lee....kinda sounds girly, but mess with him, tell him you're serious about calling him C-Lee, maybe he'll give up lol...good luck with that!
Have him pull the "Dear Abby" way of naming a child--have him go out with a bunch of his friends, pretend to yell his "child's" name 3 times and if he still isn't embarrassed to call a child that name, so be it. She actually suggested yelling the name out the back door like you are calling him in for dinner but for your fiance to do it in front of his friends would have more impact.
FWIW I asked my husband last night and he said without hesitation that dad wins on this one, both because of the agreement, and because of the family tradition.
But that's the thing. When it comes to your child's name, I don't think anyone should "win." I think both parties should agree. I understand there was an agreement, but I don't know what I would do if my DH dug his heels in on a name I absolutely hated. If he wanted to compromise with a nickname, fine. But if he hated that idea to? I'm not sure what I would do and it would reflect poorly on him, I think. Tradition be damned.
When we named our son, I picked a name I've always loved. DH didn't like it quite as much, but he was fine with it. If he had hated it, no matter what agreement we had, I would have changed it. It's more important to me to have a name we both like - not just "can live with" - than for me to win.
But that's the thing. When it comes to your child's name, I don't think anyone should "win." I think both parties should agree. I understand there was an agreement, but I don't know what I would do if my DH dug his heels in on a name I absolutely hated. If he wanted to compromise with a nickname, fine. But if he hated that idea to? I'm not sure what I would do and it would reflect poorly on him, I think. Tradition be damned.
When we named our son, I picked a name I've always loved. DH didn't like it quite as much, but he was fine with it. If he had hated it, no matter what agreement we had, I would have changed it. It's more important to me to have a name we both like - not just "can live with" - than for me to win.
I agree, and i said that in my first post. But they made this agreement, and he has a good reason for wanting that name. No, tradition can not be damned. It is important to him for a sentimental reason, and she should be able to see that.
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It doesn't help that tonight right before I talked to my fiance, my dad told me "Please don't name your baby Clarence. He will not be able to get a job. It's country. And it's not a good name. Name him Stokley. Stokley has character." 
