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I am not a parent. I guess i am wondering what makes people choose to bring kids into this painful and unfair world. Do you truly WANT to have kids? Or do you just feel that it is your duty in life to procreate and raise offspring?
I hope no parents find this offensive... i just cannot imagine wanting to bring kids into this world. First of all, being a parent seems like a LOT of work... secondly, i don't see why i would want to ever create new people and spend my days watching them suffer the hardships of life. I am considering getting snipped, as i think i would feel guilty if i created a new person to suffer through life. Plenty of people have it worse than i do, but my life has not been peaches and cream. i think most people could probably say the same about their life experiences. It would make me sad and guilty to watch other people that i created go through life's sufferings.
In an era in which birth control is readily available, i guess i just do not understand why people choose to have kids... unless you feel a certain religious or societal obligation, command from God, etc.
I would be interested to hear some thoughts on this.
I am not a parent. I guess i am wondering what makes people choose to bring kids into this painful and unfair world. Do you truly WANT to have kids? Or do you just feel that it is your duty in life to procreate and raise offspring?
I hope no parents find this offensive... i just cannot imagine wanting to bring kids into this world. First of all, being a parent seems like a LOT of work... secondly, i don't see why i would want to ever create new people and spend my days watching them suffer the hardships of life. I am considering getting snipped, as i think i would feel guilty if i created a new person to suffer through life. Plenty of people have it worse than i do, but my life has not been peaches and cream. i think most people could probably say the same about their life experiences. It would make me sad and guilty to watch other people that i created go through life's sufferings.
In an era in which birth control is readily available, i guess i just do not understand why people choose to have kids... unless you feel a certain religious or societal obligation, command from God, etc.
I would be interested to hear some thoughts on this.
I think it can depend on your outlook and how you view life itself. And love.
It reminds me of what one family of a child with Downs told me. They had a grown daughter living in a group home, they said she was a very happy person and happinesss is the important thing to give your children. They said they'd rather have a "retarded" child that was happy with life than to have a brilliant child who was miserable with life, they said their daughter understood the meaning of life.
Life isn't supposed to be just peaches and cream, that's not what it's all about. There are good times and bad times. I just hope I'm raising my kids to realize that and that they don't expect it to be all easy all the time. I hope they learn to feel joy.
We wanted to have our son. There was no obligation.
OP, it sounds like you must have had a hard life because you mention not wanting to bring someone into this world to suffer hardships. I don't think most parents "spend their days" watching their children suffer.
The hard times my husband and I have had could have just as easily happened whether or not we had our son (loss of job, etc). The good things in our life I would say are highlighted because we have our son.
It's hard to explain the joy a child can bring. No one should feel obligated to have children. It's not for everyone, that's for sure.
Our son graduates from high school this week. At this point I can honestly say the wonderful moments have far, far outweighed the frustrating ones as we brought him to this point in life.
I am not a parent. I guess i am wondering what makes people choose to bring kids into this painful and unfair world. Do you truly WANT to have kids? Or do you just feel that it is your duty in life to procreate and raise offspring?
I hope no parents find this offensive... i just cannot imagine wanting to bring kids into this world. First of all, being a parent seems like a LOT of work... secondly, i don't see why i would want to ever create new people and spend my days watching them suffer the hardships of life. I am considering getting snipped, as i think i would feel guilty if i created a new person to suffer through life. Plenty of people have it worse than i do, but my life has not been peaches and cream. i think most people could probably say the same about their life experiences. It would make me sad and guilty to watch other people that i created go through life's sufferings.
In an era in which birth control is readily available, i guess i just do not understand why people choose to have kids... unless you feel a certain religious or societal obligation, command from God, etc.
I would be interested to hear some thoughts on this.
I guess I see it as related to how you view the world and life. You, clearly, view it as a thing of hardship and suffering. I see it as a thing of hope and opportunity. Has my life been perfect? No. Maybe luckier than many. But I have had some hardships. I can choose to look upon them as miserable suffering. Or I can look upon them as a chance to grow and learn. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
Raising kids IS a lot of work. But so is anything worth doing. The work is negligible compared to the love and the joy.
I am not a parent. I guess i am wondering what makes people choose to bring kids into this painful and unfair world. Do you truly WANT to have kids? Or do you just feel that it is your duty in life to procreate and raise offspring?
I hope no parents find this offensive... i just cannot imagine wanting to bring kids into this world. First of all, being a parent seems like a LOT of work... secondly, i don't see why i would want to ever create new people and spend my days watching them suffer the hardships of life. I am considering getting snipped, as i think i would feel guilty if i created a new person to suffer through life. Plenty of people have it worse than i do, but my life has not been peaches and cream. i think most people could probably say the same about their life experiences. It would make me sad and guilty to watch other people that i created go through life's sufferings.
In an era in which birth control is readily available, i guess i just do not understand why people choose to have kids... unless you feel a certain religious or societal obligation, command from God, etc.
I would be interested to hear some thoughts on this.
to some, life is not just a series of hardships. A person's perspective on that makes all the difference.
I think it varies from person to person, but animals, including humans, are biologically programmed to reproduce.
Maybe my outlook on life is more pessimistic or realistic than some... but i just think the negative experience in life outweigh the positive. For a relatively normal, healthy human being, you spend 5 days out of 7 at work. Throw in a modest dose of financial stress, sexual frustration, and dieting/weight control efforts. Maybe i need to talk to a therapist or something, but i just don't see the majority of life as fun and something that i would want someone else to experience. And then this is only an "average", relatively good scenario. As mentioned above, there is always the possibility of your kids having serious birth defects and health problems.
Maybe my outlook on life is more pessimistic or realistic than some... but i just think the negative experience in life outweigh the positive. For a relatively normal, healthy human being, you spend 5 days out of 7 at work. Throw in a modest dose of financial stress, sexual frustration, and dieting/weight control efforts. Maybe i need to talk to a therapist or something, but i just don't see the majority of life as fun and something that i would want someone else to experience. And then this is only an "average", relatively good scenario. As mentioned above, there is always the possibility of your kids having serious birth defects and health problems.
Based on these few posts, yes your outlook on life seems to be way more pessimistic than most. you sound depressed. Seeing a therapist could be beneficial. They could help you see the glass as half full instead of half empty.
Maybe my outlook on life is more pessimistic or realistic than some... but i just think the negative experience in life outweigh the positive. For a relatively normal, healthy human being, you spend 5 days out of 7 at work. Throw in a modest dose of financial stress, sexual frustration, and dieting/weight control efforts. Maybe i need to talk to a therapist or something, but i just don't see the majority of life as fun and something that i would want someone else to experience. And then this is only an "average", relatively good scenario. As mentioned above, there is always the possibility of your kids having serious birth defects and health problems.
Wow.
Life has its joys and its lows for most people. But the good parts should outweigh the bad. Kids don't typically spend most their days suffering and miserable IMO. If anything, they tend to shake off the lows quicker than the grownups.
I think you need to talk to somebody. Good luck to you.
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