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I was kind of shocked the other day when a friend said they " made their daughter give up her horseback lessons for the Summer, because they are the hardest months financiially for them".
Then, 5 min. Later, they were talking about all he things they had done during the summer, which included a 5 day vacation to Chicago? ( sans kids).
She is a teacher , so she doesn't get paid for the Summer, so they lack her income during the Summer, I understand watching the finances, of course.
To make your child give up something they enjoy for their own benefit though, just seems a bit selfish to me.
We have never taken a vacation ( not even a wknd away) w/out our children and I certainly would never ask my children to give up something they enjoy, so that I could do something I wanted.....
Every family has priorities. I doubt they feel like they made their daughter give up the lessons in order for them to take a vacation. One probably has nothing to do with the other in their minds. Although we don't do it much (only a few times ever), there is value in getting away with your spouse. I don't see anything wrong with a couple take 5 days for themselves, when the daughter gets 9 months of lessons. It probably makes for a happier family overall, than one where the parents sacrifice everything so the kids can do whatever activities they want. It is give and take. Everyone needs to sacrifice.
To make your child give up something they enjoy for their own benefit though, just seems a bit selfish to me.
I do not think it is selfish that the child misses a few lessons while money is tight. She is lucky that she gets them the other 9 months of the year - some kids don't have that luxury.
I was kind of shocked the other day when a friend said they " made their daughter give up her horseback lessons for the Summer, because they are the hardest months financiially for them".
Then, 5 min. Later, they were talking about all he things they had done during the summer, which included a 5 day vacation to Chicago? ( sans kids).
She is a teacher , so she doesn't get paid for the Summer, so they lack her income during the Summer, I understand watching the finances, of course.
To make your child give up something they enjoy for their own benefit though, just seems a bit selfish to me.
We have never taken a vacation ( not even a wknd away) w/out our children and I certainly would never ask my children to give up something they enjoy, so that I could do something I wanted.....
Poor kid -- it's the parents' call however but I would not take a vacation without my kids, not make them give up something they'd been doing and enjoyed. It sounds like a two-income family that really would not be exactly struggling and isn't if he could afford a trip to Chicago.
If anything, I think it's a good lesson for the girl. She's being taught that spending beyond your means is something to avoid, that your budget changes over time, and that in a family everyone makes sacrifices.
I took lessons as a child for only about six months until things changed and my parents could not afford it. But I also knew that my wants weren't the important thing in the world and somehow I survived the loss.
How do you know that one of the inlaws didnt pay for the trip? You have no idea how that money was come into for the trip, so making wild assumptions on THEIR finances is just poor taste. So the child goes 3 months without freaking horseback lessons, big deal. I fail to see anything wrong with it even if the parents DID take the money to go on a trip.
Right, I don't know how they paid for the trip and it is none of my business.
I guess it was poor timing of words when within a 10 min. Conversation she said her daughter isn't taking horseback lessons because money is tight and the next sentence was about her & her husband going away for 5 days.
I have no arguement with parents taking the time to be w/out the kids, I am sure it is good for the marriage/family, we don't have family nearby to ask to watch our children, & we would just feel as though it would be an iconvenience to ask some of our famiy to come here se we could go away....
The family needs to make decisions based on the good of the *entire* family, not just one person in it. Whenever we're considering activities for anyone, we look at the whole picture and see if it balances with our priorities. Does it cost so much that we'd have to cut back elsewhere to the detriment of the family? Does it take too much time, or does it fall in the middle of dinnertime or some other inconvenient place within our schedule? Will it unduly stress out the chauffeur (me)? Does it require me to pack everyone up, drive an hour, wait for the child's activity for an hour, then drive home an hour?
For us, we wouldn't sign the kids up for an activity that would mean that we'd have to forgo an annual vacation. And I could definitely see taking the summer off of *insert activity here* for stress/time/financial reasons. Each child needs to understand that s/he is part of a unit, not a standalone person for whom everyone else makes sacrifices all the time.
I see nothing wrong with suspending horseback riding lessons during the summer, nor do I see anything wrong with mom and dad using the money saved to go away for a few days. It's not all about the kid every minute.
The family needs to make decisions based on the good of the *entire* family, not just one person in it.
Right.
Just because you have noted that you have never taken a trip without your kids doesn't mean that's the ultimate correct way to do things.
As Kibbie noted, families are different.
Some parents believe children should learn that adults sometimes do things children can't do, including traveling.
Who knows that their family situation actually is. Until you walk a mile in another mom's shoes ...
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