A bit worried about possible future custody battles with the father. (child support, legally)
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First and foremost, get a better situation in which to live and raise your child. an unsafe living environment can absolutely be held against you, an if the father is more stable, then he could be awarded custody if he is interested. Why are you working so few hours? is it a lack of job opportunity? make sure you access all possible resources to access healthy food and medical care.
If he does want custody, then the best interest of the baby is the key. it won't matter that he was with another woman: the judge would look at who can provide the most stable home for the baby.
The people you live with ate children? I'm not 100% understanding your post.
Has the "father" stated any interest in the baby? If I'm understanding your post correctly he hasn't, so I wouldn't worry. Sounds like he'll be a absent father which is sad. He changed his phone number, so he doesn't want to hear from you. Just don't seek him out. Hell you don't even have to list him on the birth certificate if you don't want to.
As for you, you need to find a new place to live ASAP. You need to get a job that will allow you to work more, and you need to start thinking about childcare and provisions for the baby after he/she is born. If you're not going to be able to give the baby what he/she needs then you need to think about what is best for the baby in reality not emotionally.
Many cities have assisted living facilities for single mothers-to-be and single mothers with infants. Look into it.
Are you seeing a doctor to make sure your pregnancy is going well? Again, free or low-cost clinics are available in many places.
Are you getting any form of government assistance? It sounds as if you might qualify for ADC, foodstamps, etc. Look into it, too. A good social worker could help you find out what options are available to you and your baby. Larger churches in your area might also help point you in the right direction - check with mainstream denominations.
If you're living with people who hate children, make other arrangements asap.
Where is your own family of origin in this situation? Do you have parents, brothers, sisters, other relatives who could help you?
I don't what to say. Doesn't anyone use condoms anymore?
Amen to that. How do all these people end up knocked up by some dude they were"kinda" seeing that they haven't even known for more than a few months? That's why birth control was made in the first place. I mean damn. When I was single no one was coming near my junk without the medical equivalent of extra stength Saran Wrap and a can of Lysol LOL. I was scared to death of diseases, babies weren't even a fleeting possibility in my brain. Heh.
Seriously OP, see a lawyer, you might be able to get a free consultation from some agency. But is he a bad guy? Is there a reason you are scared of him other than the 2 of you are not speaking right now?
Many cities have assisted living facilities for single mothers-to-be and single mothers with infants. Look into it.
Are you seeing a doctor to make sure your pregnancy is going well? Again, free or low-cost clinics are available in many places.
Are you getting any form of government assistance? It sounds as if you might qualify for ADC, foodstamps, etc. Look into it, too. A good social worker could help you find out what options are available to you and your baby. Larger churches in your area might also help point you in the right direction - check with mainstream denominations.
If you're living with people who hate children, make other arrangements asap.
Where is your own family of origin in this situation? Do you have parents, brothers, sisters, other relatives who could help you?
These suggestions are far, far better than others on this thread....plain facts and no judgement. Well thought out and will actually help the OP.
Mommy to be - please get some government assistance - that is what it is there for. If you don't think the father will be good for baby don't name him on the birth certificate. I'm not trying to be sneaky but a huge custody issue could happen if he is anywhere on the radar. Perhaps by you maintaining primary custody he could help you out during his visits with your baby and you can go to a tech school just to further your career.
I've been in a similar situation you can do it! Get excited about baby this is the most amazing physical transformation your body will have and it's awesome! Quite a miracle of life by God himself! Definitely don't have an abortion - your circumstances as not that bad.
Keep us posted.
Okay, you have six months to get into a better living situation.
If the father is not someone you want to be raising a child with, then why don't you move somewhere else before the baby is born? If you have relatives in another state who would let you live with them, that would be a good idea.
Someone suggested government assistance, that's a good idea for you right now also. You can call 211 (as long as it's available in your area, it probably is) and they can tell you what kind of assistance you can get and probably help get your application started. Another good place to get help is a clinic that offers free walk-in pregnancy testing. Some of the hospitals have clinics like that. They will help you with the forms to apply for medical assistance (probably medicaid) and help you find a doctor to start going to. They usually have a counselor you can talk to also.
Okay, you have six months to get into a better living situation.
If the father is not someone you want to be raising a child with, then why don't you move somewhere else before the baby is born? If you have relatives in another state who would let you live with them, that would be a good idea.
This is a great idea! Get the heck out of Dodge!
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