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I was on a local message board last night, and some parents were planning a prayer vigil for a recent teen suicide. I did a little reading, and discovered there have been 4 over the past 18 months in our bucolic little town. More searching came across 9 additional suicides in neighboring towns.
What I read was that teen suicides frequently occur in clusters, even when the kids involved don't know each other. They see memorial tributes on sites such as FB, where everybody says nice things about the deceased, and it can make the act seem more appealing. Of course, there are many reasons why kids choose that route.
I no longer have any kids in high school, but I know many current students. When I asked a group, they were well aware of the suicides. The school has made grief counselors available in a couple of instances, and there is an assembly each year that delves into the subject.
What struck me most, was that so many parents ( all of the parents of the kids I spoke with, and many on the message board), had no idea that these suicides have occurred. There has been no notification by the school, and apparently no mention by their kids either. So, while the school isn't doing nothing, they also aren't partnering with the parents to be aware of warning signs. The information is out there, as I was able to find it, but it isn't getting to the people who need it, the parents. Some people who knew the families mentioned that they requested privacy, and that no obituaries had been submitted.
I completely understand the family point of view, but what about the school? Should they be notifying parents when these multiple situations occur? Does anybody have any experience with a school handling things differently?
1) Why is it the school's job to notify parents? Did all the kids who killed themselves attend the same school?
2) Media coverage DEFINITELY plays a part in copycat suicides. While actual suicide clusters are rare, I know certain journalism organizations have retooled their policies to keep from inadvertently glorifying the deceased.
It's similar to teen pregnancy, where one girl looks at the attention (positive or negative) received from others who have babies and in a twisted way wants that for herself, not fully understanding the implications and realities of motherhood.
I was on a local message board last night, and some parents were planning a prayer vigil for a recent teen suicide. I did a little reading, and discovered there have been 4 over thepast 18 months in our bucolic little town. More searching came across 9 additional suicides in neighboring towns.
What I read was that teen suicides frequently occur in clusters, even when the kids involved don't know each other. They see memorial tributes on sites such as FB, where everybody says nice things about the deceased, and it can make the act seem more appealing. Of course, there are many reasons why kids choose that route.
I no longer have any kids in high school, but I know many current students. When I asked a group, they were well aware of the suicides. The school has made grief counselors available in a couple of instances, and there is an assembly each year that delves into the subject.
What struck me most, was that so many parents ( all of the parents of the kids I spoke with, and many on the message board), had no idea that these suicides have occurred. There has been no notification by the school, and apparently no mention by their kids either. So, while the school isn't doing nothing, they also aren't partnering with the parents to be aware of warning signs. The information is out there, as I was able to find it, but it isn't getting to the people who need it, the parents. Some people who knew the families mentioned that they requested privacy, and that no obituaries had been submitted.
I completely understand the family point of view, but what about the school? Should they be notifying parents when these multiple situations occur? Does anybody have any experience with a school handling things differently?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
1) Why is it the school's job to notify parents? Did all the kids who killed themselves attend the same school?
2) Media coverage DEFINITELY plays a part in copycat suicides. While actual suicide clusters are rare, I know certain journalism organizations have retooled their policies to keep from inadvertently glorifying the deceased.
It's similar to teen pregnancy, where one girl looks at the attention (positive or negative) received from others who have babies and in a twisted way wants that for herself, not fully understanding the implications and realities of motherhood.
OP implied that it was the same school by referring to a "bucolic littletown". If there are multiple suicides in a small town in a short period of time I think that the schools should notify parents about suicide prevention. Letters to parents would not be "glorifying the deceased" but informing parents about the situation. I'm sure that all of the students are aware of the suicides already.
That's a very interesting question, what role does the school play in social responsibility? One would think that preventive programs would be present in high schools anyway, and could be utilized for additional communication when clusters occur.
I suspect the lack of consensus surrounding the theories and opinions regarding the role of suggestibility in suicide drives school administrators and local authorities to err on the side of silence.
I hope our resident expert weighs in, this is an important topic.
Yes, I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. All four suicides were in the same high school. And, they weren't publicized via the press, but by the student body, amongst themselves and social media. Meanwhile, far too many parents had no idea.
In our local school's case, the administration wasn't completely silent. They do have the suicide prevention assembly yearly, as I mentioned, and one mother told me she called the guidance office the day of one of the deaths, and was told the counselor wasn't available as they were meeting to decide how to handle an unfortunate incident.
It just seems to me that parents are expected to recognize suicidal tendencies when the symptoms are murky in light of normal teenage angst. The very least the school can do is let the parents know that it happened, and that they should be talking to their children about it.
I still get emails from the high school weekly (they seem unable to remove me from their mailing list), and I know it hasn't been addressed yet.
The school has no right to announce anyone's death as a suicide and would in fact be violating the family's privacy if they notified anyone that a recent death was a suicide.
The real issue isn't the school not sharing the information with parents but rather the students in the school not sharing it with their parents.
The school has no right to announce anyone's death as a suicide and would in fact be violating the family's privacy if they notified anyone that a recent death was a suicide.
The real issue isn't the school not sharing the information with parents but rather the students in the school not sharing it with their parents.
Possibly, yes. But, what I see is that students are not doing it. Does that let the administration off the hook? There is no reason to provide details, just a heads up to parents.
I know you work in a school. How does a parent open that conversation if the kids aren't forthcoming?
The school has no right to announce anyone's death as a suicide and would in fact be violating the family's privacy if they notified anyone that a recent death was a suicide.
The real issue isn't the school not sharing the information with parents but rather the students in the school not sharing it with their parents.
The school wouldn't have to name the students. They could refer to state or local statistics or just send out general information about preventing teen suicides. Before prom season most schools send information out to parents about preventing drunk driving and teenage pregnancies why can't they do similar things about preventing teen suicides?
Believe me, once something like that happens it is spread all around the student body in a flash. This is the age of FB, texting, etc. And the kids should inform their parents but if they don't talk about it I think most parents will know about it in no time through the grape vine.
I think the school has a responsibility to address the problem. Assemblies like Mattie talks about are important but after the fact is when kids can be reached with more in depth attention. And they should be reached.
Copy cats are a big problem with all sorts of situations, especially suicides, teen pregnancies and gun rampages in schools. Sad but a fact of life. I'm sure there are many studies on the copycat phenom.
How many of us have talked to our youngsters about suicide? It is a most uncomfortable subject to broach with kids but I think being quiet about it does our kids a dis service.
We had a family friend hang herself and her 20 year old daughter found her while on the phone with my daughter. The woman was undiagnosed bi-polar and it pulled the rug out from under everybody in the family, especially her youngest daughter.
She later found out her mother had attempted it before when she was 18 but everybody in the family decided to not tell her. Where did she go for comfort? Back to her old and favorite high school teacher who in turn directed her to therapy. Now this young woman is working on a suicide prevention program for high schools in her community. She feels not enough information was available to her and her friends about depression, mental health issues and how suicide affects loved ones left behind. I think every school should be pro active in dealing with the issue and come up with a respectful way to notify the student body and their parents when something like this happens.
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