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Right!..and let them see by example that drugs and alcohol aren't necessary to be happy in life...most importantly though (especially when they're teens) is to let them know that they can ask you any questions they want, without you coming down on them, or being disappointed. They need to know that even if they DO try a drug, they can tell you about it and you won't judge them poorly for it.
Million dollar question. Maintaining an open line of communication & educating them about drug/alcohol issues is the best any parent can do. And keeping them busy in sports or other activities, surrounded by good peers.
Actually, some sports have a good deal of alcohol involved.
I have a cousin who was a heroin addict in her late teens and 20s. Once, after she got clean, I actually asked her that question. She didn't have much of an answer--every situation is unique. In her case it was a matter of falling in love with the wrong guy in an environment where his friends were all doing drugs. In that time (it was the late '70s, early '80s) and where we lived it was hard to avoid drug-using teens, and even I had my close calls.
Now I think it's a lot different. It's more socially acceptable for kids to be clean, to be care more about athletics and academics than thrill-seeking. At least, that's what I'm seeing with my teenager. She says there are kids in her school who smoke and party, but they are not the kids anyone wants to emulate.
IMO, keeping kids busy with things they like to do is the best defense. For most of them at that age, drug and alcohol use is about having FUN, so if they have other ways to have FUN they don't need to chase after it with substances.
I'm talking from a viewpoint of having teenagers in the suburbs, with lots of extracurricular pursuits and a school system that takes student involvement seriously, so I know it's not the case everywhere.
My brother fell into the same situation at around the age of 14-15. Hanging out with the wrong crowd, starting out with cigarettes, progressing to marijuana and eventually to all kinds of drugs (meth, coke, Oxycontin, etc.). This coincided with dropping out of high school and my father's death (a couple years after he was kicked out).
I would tell parents to first and foremost, watch out who your children are friends with. They are the main influence during the teen years. It's not completely up to the parents, though, what kids your child hangs with, as certain kids naturally gravitate towards certain groups, or at least this has been my experience.
I'm the proud parent of a little one, who is doing well. We're investing in her and are proud of her accomplishments.
One of the things that I worry about is good kids that fall into drug and alcohol abuse. How best do parents try to help their kids avoid this trap?
I worry that I work too much and am not around enough, but work needs to be done and money. I worry that my spouse and I disagree too much (we're working on it). I worry that we push our kids too hard.
But, what in your opinion do parents need to do to help their kids stay away from drug and alcohol abuse?
In my home, we have no drugs of any kind. If someone has a headache, it's suggested they go to bed and sleep it off, no aspirin or tylenol or any of that. Kids learn pill-popping from parents, they get the idea that every ache and pain must be alleviated with some sort of chemical.
Beer and wine aren't treated like mysteries though -- it's okay to have one beer, but you don't need to drink the whole 18 of them.
Kids experiment with drugs/alcohol. The younger they begin to use them recreationally , the higher the chance of a kid becoming addicted.
Know what is going on in your daughter's life. Talk to her about anything you think might be dangerous, including drugs. Make sure she trusts you enough to talk to her about her life. That way you will know when something has changed.
If she sees you as her father and an ally you will be effective. If she sees you as a father and a judge and jury she will hide things from you.
It sounds to me like you are really interested in how this is done. Giving a crap is a big step in the right direction. You care, you will probably be fine. If your family has alcohol genetics, you will have to be 5 times more protective about alcohol than if your family doesn't.
I was a drunk by the time I finished high school. I lived at home with a mother and father who put a roof over my head and clothed me. That was it, they did not do any parenting. You sound like you want to be a parent.
I didn't see this until the thread revived --- it's not torture, no one seems to be in any pain. No one complains of having headaches.
Just playing devil's advocate (since I rarely take most medicine as well) but why would they complain since there is no remedy available?
And also, if you are okay with beer and wine (which are ancient drugs) why not aspirin (which is also an ancient drug)?
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