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When kids are smaller - like around kindergarten - they'll do pretty much anything you want them to. Partly because it's a new experience and partly because they don't know any different. They'll often do things simply because you tell them to not because they want to.
At some point, they stop doing whatever you want them to, and start forming their own opinions about what they like and don't like.
I'm wondering at what age you found for your kids that they started to form ideas about what they wanted to do and not do, and when you lost a lot of the influence in what activities your kids did?
For me, the big turning point was 3rd grade, when I stopped doing an activity my father wanted me to do with him. I decided that I didn't enjoy it, wasn't having fun, and it wasn't something that I wanted to do.
I was VERY young. I remember vividly the moment it occurred to me that I could have my own separate identity.
My grandmother always left the butter out so it was soft. My mother, who was a nurse, always kept it in the refrigerator. One day I said, "But grandmother keeps it out so it's soft." I can't remember my mother's vague response. It was something like, "I do it differently." She didn't explain why. I didn't ask why. Because I suddenly no longer cared about soft or hard butter! I was stunned that my mother didn't do what her mother did. I IMMEDIATELY realized that I didn't have to do/believe everything my mother did too!
My kids are 8 and 11. Sometimes I still have to tell them they can have their own opinions and they don't have to like everything I like or do everything I do. They can have their own opinions about religion and politics (but they'd better research their opinion if they want to debate it with me, because I've researched plenty )
They're not allowed to opt out of everything though...if they don't want to help clean the house, that's not their choice to make. I don't like cleaning either. That is a good time to tell them about how we still have to do some things we don't like to do.
And my kids always had things they didn't like to do...oldest didn't like reading books unless she had to, youngest still will not speak to most people who she doesn't know. They didn't have an age where they liked everything automatically.
My two year old has definite likes and dislikes that are different from mine and has no problem letting the world know. My seven year old does too, but she generally keeps her opinions to herself.
My two year old has definite likes and dislikes that are different from mine and has no problem letting the world know. My seven year old does too, but she generally keeps her opinions to herself.
My son was a very opinionated two year old! I can clearly remember him telling me, "I am not going to eat vegetables until I am 3." He stuck to it (he thinks ) and said the same thing at age 3, 4, 5 and on. He ate hidden veggies for years, but has not eaten any solid vegetables besides potatoes since he was 2.
I guess it depends on what you are talking about. Our oldest was pretty set in his ways at birth . He ate when he wanted to eat, slept when he wanted to sleep
Depends on the kid. One of mine was pretty pliant until about 8th grade, another battled me from age 3 on, the other two somewhere in between. As adults they all have very strong opinions on how to live their own lives.
Your question is oddly child centered. As in, the child dictates the actions of the parents.
I would offer that parents, at some point in time, allow their children a bit more latitude to make certain decisions. Not the other way around.
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) and said the same thing at age 3, 4, 5 and on. He ate hidden veggies for years, but has not eaten any solid vegetables besides potatoes since he was 2.
