17-year-old son dinged my car while parking at home (punishment, accident, smart)
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Cripes, I've been driving for 20 years with minimal traffic violations, and none in the past 13 years. I backed into a cement wall in a poorly lit parking garage a few months ago. Just one of those things.
A three-inch scratch really is nothing - certainly not an eyesore. Do you judge people by whether they've got a scratch on their car? Does it do anything more than irk you when you look at it? Does it have any appreciable effect on your life beyond the thousand bucks you're willing to blow to fix it? If he's normally a conscientious kid, you should lighten up. Being 17 is tough enough without a perfectly normal error being turned into a major issue.
I'm not the OP (sorry for the confusion). Not everyone has the space to keep or ability to provide a "beater" car for a teen to drive. It was just "one of those things". It happens - but as parents it is our responsibility both to be compassionate and understanding of accidents as well as easing them into the responsibility of adulthood. If I, as an adult, have an accident, I will be paying the deductible and any rate increase as a result of that. I think having the son help with that is a reasonable way to allow him ownership of what happened without being punitive.
If it was me I would ask him to pay something but I wouldn't punish him, nor would I make the amount he has to pay excessive. Teens make mistakes and it doesn't sound like he is a reckless driver.
He has not had tickets.
He has not had accidents.
He runs errands for his parents.
The OP admits the parking is tight.
You should fix the car. You should spend one full week having your son practice driving next to close objects. Set some floor lights or chairs up in the driveway or such with pots or cans on top. Let him knock a few over. Practice well. I think perhaps you did not teach your son well in driving. Practice circles in different weather conditions and on different roads. Practice figure eights forward and backward and fast starts and fast stops. Take him to a large empty parking lot at night and early in the morning and just drive crazy with multiple patterns at yet a safe speed. Train. Train. Parents are so afraid to damage the auto they fail to teach life saving skills young drivers need on the road.
My son has had his license for about 10 months and has never had any tickets, never been pulled over, and has never been in involved in any accidents....until today. He went to Target to buy me some stuff, and returned home. In between the two parking spaces my husband and I own is a stone pillar. Today the parking space adjacent to mine had a minivan in it, making it a tight squeeze for parking. Unfortunately, my son turned too late and hit the pole. The car is fine, but has a 3-inch-wide dent and some small strips of paint were scratched off. I'm afraid I might have to replace the whole bumper for almost a grand..... Should I give him a warning this time, and make him pay in full for the next accident (hopefully there will NOT be another accident in the forseeable future!!), or make him pay me the sum it costs for the bumper? Thanks!
Is there any reason you can't get a used bumper? Just because a car is in the junk yard doesn't mean the entire car is junk. Merely a thought.
My son has had his license for about 10 months and has never had any tickets, never been pulled over, and has never been in involved in any accidents....until today. He went to Target to buy me some stuff, and returned home. In between the two parking spaces my husband and I own is a stone pillar. Today the parking space adjacent to mine had a minivan in it, making it a tight squeeze for parking. Unfortunately, my son turned too late and hit the pole. The car is fine, but has a 3-inch-wide dent and some small strips of paint were scratched off. I'm afraid I might have to replace the whole bumper for almost a grand.....Should I give him a warning this time, and make him pay in full for the next accident (hopefully there will NOT be another accident in the forseeable future!!), or make him pay me the sum it costs for the bumper? Thanks!
It was an ACCIDENT. It's not like he was speeding around, being reckless, or showing off in front of friends.
If you want to fix it, then fix it. If you really feel the need to make him pay $1000 for such a small dent and some scratches, then make him pay for it. How old is he? 17? 18? $1000 will take him HOW long to pay off? I can't imagine he's making much ($200/week?) Are you going to take his full paycheck for 5 weeks? Or let him pay you off $50 here, $20 there, etc?
I wouldn't take it to the extreme and replace the whole bumper. A 3" dent and some scratches? Big whoop.
My son has had his license for about 10 months and has never had any tickets, never been pulled over, and has never been in involved in any accidents....until today. He went to Target to buy me some stuff, and returned home. In between the two parking spaces my husband and I own is a stone pillar. Today the parking space adjacent to mine had a minivan in it, making it a tight squeeze for parking. Unfortunately, my son turned too late and hit the pole. The car is fine, but has a 3-inch-wide dent and some small strips of paint were scratched off. I'm afraid I might have to replace the whole bumper for almost a grand..... Should I give him a warning this time, and make him pay in full for the next accident (hopefully there will NOT be another accident in the forseeable future!!), or make him pay me the sum it costs for the bumper? Thanks!
Are you serious?
He's still learning. It was an accident. That means that he didn't intentionally do it. Give him a break. It's your own son for goodness' sake.
SO, did you actually have a body shop look at it? I seriously doubt that the whole bumper cover would need to be replaced with than little bit of damage. Most body shops can repair bumper dents and refinish the plastic bumpers like new, even if they have holes torn in them. On my car, the prior owner damaged the bottom, drilled holes in it for fog lights, and it has several chips/gouges on it. Two local shops said they could repair it and repaint it back to 100% new condition for about $250-300. As long as it is not torn away from the car (with damaged mounting points) or does not have a big rip in it, they should be able to fix it.
And I would probably not punish him too much for it. Maybe he could pay a portion of the repair so he has some sense of responsibility for his actions. I bet he was very sorry about it, and it was an accident. I am willing to bet he will be EXTRA careful from now on. I know I am on left turns, as my first accident was a result of me making a left turn without totally checking for traffic. Now I NEVER go unless I make sure there is no traffic. I learned, and so will he.
Good luck on it!
I agree, it should be cheaper to have it fixed than the $1000 you're anticipating. A little bit of bondo and some paint, and you'll never know it was there.
About the accident, it's a minor thing. My husband has done the same thing a few times, especially when we lived where we had covered parking in a shared lot. Your son probably feels horrible about it and there's no reason to punish him when it's something you or your husband could have ended up doing.
You should get some little round mirrors to put on your side mirrors, they're invaluable for parking in tight spots.
My bad thanks for telling me.
Sorry I cannot agree with you. This is beyond comprehension. Who in their right mind would even consider making any Teenager pay a thousand dollars for THEIR vehicle?
You did it, it's your fault so you need to pay me. Except it's HER fault. Yet... really, who cares? It's just a dent. Let it go. Forget about it.
Instead a thread was created because she's obsessed about her vehicle's imperfection to the point of considering how this thousand dollars will be applied to correct it. It means trying to garnish support at the expense of her own child.
Children's Brains and their eyesight are still forming until around age 20-21. That's why accidents are so much less by then.She should have re-assured her son of these facts when the fender bender happened. Teenagers are not known for their good driving. They are still children, their brains and eyesight are still developing hence why these things happen so often their insurance rates must be increased. It's why Old people get in so many accidents. So what happened is par to the course. No biggie.
Again, it's best Mom grows up, it's just a dent. We all know Teens aren't known for their good driving and it's not their fault. Hence why when we loan our car to a Teen, any Teen, we assume the consequences of such.
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Last edited by californiawomann5; 11-23-2013 at 11:06 PM..
That's a wonderful idea, thanks. I forgot about those. I am going to order some right now from Ebay.
You can get them at Walmart or any auto parts store, no need to order them and pay shipping
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Should I give him a warning this time, and make him pay in full for the next accident (hopefully there will NOT be another accident in the forseeable future!!), or make him pay me the sum it costs for the bumper? Thanks!
thanks for telling me.
