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To fathers who never married the mother of your child or mothers who never married the father of her child…
After reading that 1 in 6 fathers doesn't live with his kids. A lot of men aren't aware that they have no legal rights to their child if conceived outside of wedlock. The only way around it is to file for legitimation in the courthouse or get married. It may not be a big deal to some, but I think it is. If something were to go wrong between the parents and he wanted custody or visitation, he doesn't have any rights (but they'll be damn sure that he pays child support). I was wondering how many out there have gone to the courthouse to file for legitimation.
Well, we're still together many years later, so no need. The primary caregiver is the one who usually obtains custody - unless dad is a stay-at-home-dad at the time of the breakup, she's usually the one doing more of the actual childcare, so the status quo remains.
If a man is old enough to father a child, I'm sure he knows how to log in to his local government website, this information is clearly written out on state websites. It's not a secret. Unfortunately, a lot of men simply just don't care. There are many men who do care (my own partner was raised by his father, not his mother, who didn't care to be a mother - they were never married), but it's hardly a typical example either.
After reading that 1 in 6 fathers doesn't live with his kids. A lot of men aren't aware that they have no legal rights to their child if conceived outside of wedlock. The only way around it is to file for legitimation in the courthouse or get married. It may not be a big deal to some, but I think it is. If something were to go wrong between the parents and he wanted custody or visitation, he doesn't have any rights (but they'll be damn sure that he pays child support). I was wondering how many out there have gone to the courthouse to file for legitimation.
I don't know where you live, but it's not like that in my state. Both parents have legal rights even if they're not married here. A quick google search shows this legitimation law does exist in Georgia. While some other states may have this law (I can't find any), it's not the norm for the country. You might want to post this poll in the Georgia forum instead.
Well, we're still together many years later, so no need. The primary caregiver is the one who usually obtains custody - unless dad is a stay-at-home-dad at the time of the breakup, she's usually the one doing more of the actual childcare, so the status quo remains.
If a man is old enough to father a child, I'm sure he knows how to log in to his local government website, this information is clearly written out on state websites. It's not a secret. Unfortunately, a lot of men simply just don't care. There are many men who do care (my own partner was raised by his father, not his mother, who didn't care to be a mother - they were never married), but it's hardly a typical example either.
I don't think my generation, millennials, knows that. We were 30 and under in 2012. I say that because I personally know 2 couples that went through custody issues. We graduated high school, and were ready to start college. However, they were going to different schools. In a specific case, the father was dating someone that the mother didn't like. So, she took the baby. Of course when he went to the court, to get visitation, the judge told me that he couldn't do anything for him. The poor guy broke down in tears.
I feel like the "mom gets mad at dad and takes baby away" situation too far.
It depends on which state. My oldest was born in Florida, and his signature on the birth certificate suffices. Our youngest was born in GA, and he had to do additional legal paperwork. We're together, but I wanted him to have that additional legal protection in case I died or something.
I don't know where you live, but it's not like that in my state. Both parents have legal rights even if they're not married here. A quick google search shows this legitimation law does exist in Georgia. While some other states may have this law (I can't find any), it's not the norm for the country. You might want to post this poll in the Georgia forum instead.
The Uniform Parenting Act is what you're referring to. It's “the parent and child relationship extends equally to every child and to every parent, regardless of the marital status of the parents."
I have no idea what it says because each state has variations. I pulled this info from my criminal justice teacher…
The Uniform Parenting Act is what you're referring to. It's “the parent and child relationship extends equally to every child and to every parent, regardless of the marital status of the parents."
No. I'm referring to my state laws and most state laws.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinkmani
I pulled this info from my criminal justice teacher…
And you live in one of the few states with this required legitimation process, don't you?
I don't think my generation, millennials, knows that. We were 30 and under in 2012. I say that because I personally know 2 couples that went through custody issues. We graduated high school, and were ready to start college. However, they were going to different schools. In a specific case, the father was dating someone that the mother didn't like. So, she took the baby. Of course when he went to the court, to get visitation, the judge told me that he couldn't do anything for him. The poor guy broke down in tears.
I feel like the "mom gets mad at dad and takes baby away" situation too far.
I am probably the same age as you. Under 30 means what, exactly? An inability to google? I had a mortgage at age 21 and a career, I was well-aware of how to use google, like everyone else my age, because we had high-speed internet in elementary school.
If there is one thing that is common between custody stories, is that 3rd parties never get all the information and I can think of a number of issues with your friend's sob stories. If you encounter a sad man with illegitimate children, tell him to get off his ass and google his rights. If he can afford to take a girl out to dinner on a Friday night, surely he has a spare hour on Saturday morning to use a computer at the library and find some phone numbers/custody information?
Stop infantilizing men who don't try to enforce their rights. Their age is NO excuse, you understand "we" millenials aren't 12 years old anymore?
Well, we're still together many years later, so no need. The primary caregiver is the one who usually obtains custody - unless dad is a stay-at-home-dad at the time of the breakup, she's usually the one doing more of the actual childcare, so the status quo remains.
If a man is old enough to father a child, I'm sure he knows how to log in to his local government website, this information is clearly written out on state websites. It's not a secret. Unfortunately, a lot of men simply just don't care. There are many men who do care (my own partner was raised by his father, not his mother, who didn't care to be a mother - they were never married), but it's hardly a typical example either.
Except that 12 and 13 year olds with IQs of 60 can easily father a child. For many, fatherhood is nothing more than a sex drive and women with no standards.
Many are fathers simply because they were too stupid to put on a condom or get a vasectomy.
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