My three year old seems different than other kids (toddlers, parents, wife)
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If you are concerned, have an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician (not the regular pediatrician since they usually don't know as much about a quirky child as a developmental ped).
From your post I would certainly suspect aspergers although the dx will not be aspergers any longer but will fall under ASD (autism spectrum disorder).
Girls are harder to dx because they present differently and do not have the typical symptoms.
Even if it is not autism or some variation of autism, an evaluation will give you something to go on and perhaps some idea of how to parent differently to avoid the negatives you are seeing.
My biggest concern is the fact that she doesn't play with other children she doesn't know, even when a large group of children who don't know each other are playing together.
Second to that is she seems to be more interested in how things work or what makes the world tick than she does in what other kids are doing or paying any attention to the fact that other kids are around. She simply ignores their existence with the exception of a couple kids at daycare.
Lots of kids are introverted without being Aspie. The worst thing you can do to push her to be extroverted when she is not.
My daughter is 13 and can't approach a public librarian or clerk in a store by herself. She's introverted.
Trying to label your child at such a young age may not be so helpful to his development. You'll find out soon enough if he is a little brighter than average.
I don't know why people want labels and diagnoses on their kids. Why not appreciate her for how she is? She shouldn't have to be just like every other child -- and I think most kids actually are unique.
Most 3 year olds are weird, so I wouldn't fret too much. But with autism, early detection is crucial. Get her evaluated, just in case. Emphasis on "just in case."
Look, my little cousin would pitch an unholy, bring-the-house-down fit whenever someone tried to take his shoes off when it wasn't bedtime. Totally lost his mind. We were totally freaked out by it. There were also a lot of other weird behaviors that had us all shaking our heads. But he's a completely normal young adult now.
Three is a weird weird age. People refer to the "Terrible Twos" but really the "Terrible Threes" would be far more accurate based on my personal experience and most of the mothers I know.
I don't know why people want labels and diagnoses on their kids. Why not appreciate her for how she is? She shouldn't have to be just like every other child -- and I think most kids actually are unique.
Bringing up a concern with her pedatrician isn't labelling her. If she's worried about it, she should ask a professional, it's not stifling her creativity or uniqueness by asking a question.
I have a child with autism, and another child who is being evaluated for autism. My FIL I swear has Aspergers, although he's never been diagnosed. I would say because there is a family history, I would go for an evaluation. Start with her pediatrician and bring up your concerns. Good luck!
Your previous posts tell her you seem to compare your child to others more than is healthy. Accept her for who she is. Some kids are shy and don't like a bunch of kids around them while others want a large group of friends.
Interest in details is par for the course at this age. Seeing the world through the eyes of a 3 year old is a wondrous thing. They see things we take for granted and overlook. I used to love to go for walks with my kids at this age. it was like seeing the world for the first time.
When my son was 3 his cat died and we decided to bury her (Gracie) in a shoe box in the back yard. he was fascinated. Grief stricken but fascinated at the same time. he had a million questions and I answered each one in an age appropriate way and never told him too much. But he kept pressing and pressing till I found myself going into decomposition, autopsies, necropsies, until I decided even if he wanted to know more I was through with the subject. Two days later I saw him in the back yard with his little plastic sandbox shovel. He was right over the grave!
When I asked him calmly what he was doing he explained "I want to see Gracie's skeleton bones." Of course I wouldn't let him dig her up but I got him a book and toy model of skeletons and he soon forgot gracie. I knew right then he had the mind of a scientist. Today he is a theoretical physicists.
My biggest concern is the fact that she doesn't play with other children she doesn't know, even when a large group of children who don't know each other are playing together.
Second to that is she seems to be more interested in how things work or what makes the world tick than she does in what other kids are doing or paying any attention to the fact that other kids are around. She simply ignores their existence with the exception of a couple kids at daycare.
I don't think this is necessarily a sign of Asbergers. My son (4 years old) is like this, but I can guarantee he's just shy and unsure of himelf, because when he feels comfortable he really opens up and is quite a ham.
I agree its too young to start putting labels on a child. My 3 year old is quiet sometimes and into only a few people. When we go for walks she sees things and will get obsessed with it for the rest of our walks. Be it storm drains, birds, lights, etc anything she finds interesting. It's constant questions "why" being the main one.
We went to the zoo and it was the same as what you have said. Constant questions and wanting to know random things.
I find this normal. People have gotten too quick to label a child as autistic or Aspergers when there is nothing to support it. If you have a diagnoses in your head then you are going to switch, twist, and turn until it supports what you think it is (even subconsciously) . The child seems completely normal. If you must, then get him tested by a professional. But I hate how kids are thrown into categories now because of suspected diagnoses. Just let kids be kids. He seems exactly like my daughter who is an amazing, healthy, happy, toddler. They are supposed to get into weird things, ask weird questions, they are kids! Because he asked what the bird was eating he has Aspergers? Because he was interested in storm drains? All normal...! It's what kids do. They want to know everything about everything.
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