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Who decides if money is wrongfully spent? Maybe other money was spent on the child and the support money was spent for something else. The person taking care of the child gets to decide how the money is spent. If a man begrudges child support, he should not have children. It's as simple as that. My daughter didn't receive one cent for the two girls she raised alone after the divorce. He enjoys a great relationship with those girls now because their mother didn't badmouth him. I think he is a low class vile person and he is fortunate his daughters give him the time of day.
Census figures show only 57 percent of moms are required to pay child support -- 385,000 women out of a total of 674,000 -- give up some or all of the money they owe. That leaves some 289,000 "deadbeat" mothers out there, a fact that has barely been reported in the media.
That compares with 68 percent of dads who pay up, according to the figures.
So is the issue deadbeat parents and supporting our children or deadbeats dads or males?
This happened to my dad. He got custody of my sisters and has never received a dime.
Serves him right though. He never paid a dime for me to my mother so his second wife stiffing him is just desserts in my opinion.
This has nothing to do with you being a woman, it has to do with your attitude of being a woman. Big difference.
What I posted was my attitude of being a MOTHER who did everything she could to take care of her children when daddy decided he didn't want to be a responsible adult anymore.
Are you even a father? No? Then take it somewhere else. You are speaking in hypotheticals. I've lived it.
I have a friend who has an ex husband who continually accused her of not using child support for their child and he actually took her to court to try and get the child support amount lowered.
Much to his surprise and dismay every dime of child support he gave her went into a separate account and was only used for things the child needed outside of normal weekly groceries, shampoo, etc.
Tuition was paid out of that account, copay for the Doctor, sports fees, uniform costs, clothing costs, etc. etc. All purchases had a receipt attached to the check with details regarding the purchase. She spent a lot of time keeping immaculate records just in case the ex husband tried something like this.
The court was so impressed with her record keeping and the fact that she added from her own money more than half of the cost of all of the above items even though they both were to pay half of everything that her child support was increased by 25% and her ex husband was ordered by the court to pay the court and they in turn would send the money to her. In addition to that he got to pay all court costs and had to pay back support to repay her for what she had to make up for from his lack of proper payments.
The point is, one should be very careful when accusing an ex spouse of not using the child support properly.
Wow. Good on her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart
Just put aside all bias and anger etc. And look at the issue logically. Are we honestly going to say that out of all the custody cases, 85% of them went to woman because men were not fit to be custodial parents? Or were not good enough compaired to moms? And honestly if it was reversed, do you believe we would be sitting here talking reasonable about it?
Men don't want primary custody. Well, that's been my experience at least with my own dad and dating men with children. I have come across legal info on this forum showing that men who do fight for custody get it.
I suggest to any man who is griping about paying child support and whining about how it's spent to go to court and get primary custody of their children. Then maybe they will get to see how much it really costs to raise a child and how little their so called child support was actually covering.
Unless the woman was married to a NBA star or a celebrity of some sort, I highly doubt she would be getting enough child support to live off of. In the real world, more than likely the woman is working full time herself to be able to cover the expenses for herself AND the child's expenses that the child support DO NOT cover. These days, a man who wants custody of his child can easily get at least joint custody, so by all means, any man with an issue is free to pursue that option instead of complaining.
Men don't want primary custody. Well, that's been my experience at least with my own dad and dating men with children. I have come across legal info on this forum showing that men who do fight for custody get it.
Men who fight for custody of their children in court are successful just 13% of the time. Any ethical lawyer will tell them up front that they will spend a lot of money and have a very slim chance of winning.
Men who fight for custody of their children in court are successful just 13% of the time. Any ethical lawyer will tell them up front that they will spend a lot of money and have a very slim chance of winning.
Do you have any links for this? I'm not having much luck showing support in either direction. The first thing that comes to mind for me is having the resources to fight a legal battle and men, at least historically, have left marriages at a financial advantage. OTOH, I can see how it would be difficult to win custody if a parent is not a primary caregiver. With that said, absolutely nothing could stop me from fighting for my children. I'd sell a kidney if I had to, so any advice from a lawyer would fall on deaf ears. If a person wants something they are going to fight for it.
What goes through the woman's mind when they wrongfully use child support?
In my case, it would appear absolutely nothing other than "I deserve this". I don't think she ever had a feeling of theft or guilt when she bought the third palace, or had the tummy tuck, or had the breasts done, or took the vacations, or lived the life of luxury with the maid, the lawn service, and the multiple renovations to the house.
The day the child support payments ended? She immediately sold the house and moved in with the boy friend.
My kids know they were fleeced, even though I have never said a word to them about their mothers behavior. Along with my help, they got through college and are now gainfully employed.
You can't look back; nor can you ever forget what sort of lying thief the mother is.
Karma is hell, though. She (a lawyer) got caught fleecing the US Government and will never work in the legal field again. Last I knew she was a substitute teaching assistant!
If a woman is raising her children alone and receiving support from the father, what makes you think that support shouldn't go into a common fund? I don't know anyone who pays rent or mortgage and thinks of what their children's share of the expenses should be, buys food and calculates how much the kids are consuming as opposed her own consumption. As long as the kids are clothed, fed, sheltered and their needs are being met, what is the problem?
If the absent father wants to make sure the child has some "extras" and is concerned about the mother not providing them, he should do so outside of court ordered child support.
BYW, as a single mother for 8 years, I supported 2 kids on my own salary plus their fathers $125 a month child support, and that was only after 5 years of NO support at all. That $125 didn't do much, but was added to my monthly income for my family's survival. I didn't segregate that $125 for children's use only, and didn't feel I had to.
Men who fight for custody of their children in court are successful just 13% of the time. Any ethical lawyer will tell them up front that they will spend a lot of money and have a very slim chance of winning.
Source?
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