How much socialization do young children need? (daycare, ideas, SAHM)
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I have a 1 and 2 (almost 3) year old who do not get much socialization with other kids. We share a car and I'm a stay-at-home-mom. There are not many kids in our neighborhood, and I am not that good at making friends myself as I have social anxiety issues. With one car, it is hard to go many places to meet up with people and their kids so my kids can socialize. Soo.... we don't have many play dates with other kids. But, they do play with each other all the time. Is that enough at this age, or should I try and get over myself and my social anxiety issues, find friends with kids that live around us, and start having play dates regularly? When the kids are older, involved in activities, school, etc., I'm sure they will have plenty of socialization. But, for now, it depends on me and I'm not that social of a person. I will learn to be though if I must. I know they won't meet any other toddlers to play with by themselves.
At the ages of your children, they don't usually play with other kids, as much as they play alongside them. My two youngest are less than 17 months apart, and I never felt the need to seek out other kids for them, as they were quite content to have each other. They did fine with other kids in nursery school.
I have a 1 and 2 (almost 3) year old who do not get much socialization with other kids. We share a car and I'm a stay-at-home-mom. There are not many kids in our neighborhood, and I am not that good at making friends myself as I have social anxiety issues. With one car, it is hard to go many places to meet up with people and their kids so my kids can socialize. Soo.... we don't have many play dates with other kids. But, they do play with each other all the time. Is that enough at this age, or should I try and get over myself and my social anxiety issues, find friends with kids that live around us, and start having play dates regularly? When the kids are older, involved in activities, school, etc., I'm sure they will have plenty of socialization. But, for now, it depends on me and I'm not that social of a person. I will learn to be though if I must. I know they won't meet any other toddlers to play with by themselves.
While at this age things are probably okay for a bit longer......at some point they are going to want outside friends and you are going to have to learn to deal with that....and they are going to have to learn to play with other kids. Also, when they are older, other parents are going to want to at least get a feeling of who you are before they let their kids come over to play anyway.
How often can you have the car of the day? Some days you might just have to take your partner to work and pick them up so you can go to a story time at the library with the kids (for an example). If you start in small steps now its going to be easier when your kids are wanting to do things and know what they are missing.
If your social anxiety is that bad that it limits your life and the lives of your children....then getting help for yourself might also be in order.
While it isn't a necessity, most kids like to see other kids. You don't have to do regular playdates. My situation when the kids were growing up was different in that we had neighbors with kids their age. At 18 months, my kids were in a neighborhood playgroup and we started with all 4 moms staying, then went down to 2 moms once the kids were familiar with the houses and finally had one mom stay with all 4 kids. It was only for 1 to 2 hours, but allowed each of us 3 days a month to run errands without any kids which was nice. It also allowed the kids to learn to play with each other. We did crafts (not complicated - let them put stickers on paper or do playdough or other simple things) and had active play depending on the season, weather and other things.
I also had lots of parks we could walk to, so the kids played in the sandbox or on the playground there as well from quite young.
With your kids and the small age difference, they are probably fine with each other for now, but you may want to consider a mothers day out or a little gym or a library story hour once in a while.
Is that enough at this age, or should I try and get over myself and my social anxiety issues, find friends with kids that live around us, and start having play dates regularly? When the kids are older, involved in activities, school, etc., I'm sure they will have plenty of socialization. But, for now, it depends on me and I'm not that social of a person. I will learn to be though if I must.
I think you should for your own benefit and theirs. You will need to be involved before they're old enough to make friends on their own. You might as well get practice now. It would be wise to learn how to better navigate social situations so you're children don't develop social anxiety too.
While at this age things are probably okay for a bit longer......at some point they are going to want outside friends and you are going to have to learn to deal with that....and they are going to have to learn to play with other kids. Also, when they are older, other parents are going to want to at least get a feeling of who you are before they let their kids come over to play anyway.
How often can you have the car of the day? Some days you might just have to take your partner to work and pick them up so you can go to a story time at the library with the kids (for an example). If you start in small steps now its going to be easier when your kids are wanting to do things and know what they are missing.
If your social anxiety is that bad that it limits your life and the lives of your children....then getting help for yourself might also be in order.
at 1 and 2 they're probably still okay, but by 2.5-3 they'll be a lot more interested in playing with other kids, and will also need to learn to play together, get along with different kids, deal with conflicts, not be afraid of larger groups etc. Some kids are naturals at this, but others need practice to get used to it. I feel you on the social issues, I don't have anxiety per se but I am very shy and quiet so it's very difficult for me to approach people and start conversations, I don't fit in with the constantly giggly chatterbox women. One suggestion is try and find local meetup groups and mom groups, they make it easier to find something in common if you're lucky enough to find one that's not too 'cliquey' - MOMS club I found was kind of bad in that sense, but I found a meetup group for parents new to the area that was great, everyone was super friendly and actively looking for new friends; also if you can get the car some days things like Gymboree, various classes, library storytime etc are all good ways to get the kids in a social environment without actually feeling pressure to have to make friends with the moms. For the older one, part-time preschool is good. I did a parent participation program with my son when he was two, it was fantastic - it's a preschool but you're there with them, they socialize and learn to deal with separation anxiety gradually, parents are involved and all work together, and it's a great way to meet other families and kids.
a lot of people diss daycare centers for many reasons,,,but I can tell you firsthand- you can tell the difference in kids use to being around others and the kids that were not- the concept of sharing or grabbing what you want even if another kid is holding it....these are huge issues for kids more so 4-5 yrs old..
and on the flipside ,, I think at a young age, kids are more apt to be extroverts , and not shrinking violets being around other kids
im not slamming sahm at all or home schooling moms- its just if kids start out early around other kids they are more social and outgoing so long as they aren't getting hit by the other kids..
my son was much more mature at a young age than I was - he had no problem speaking in front of 100's on stage at 6 or 7 , while I would have stuttered and wet myself
he went to a public daycare and had friends at 3 4 5 .... and he was very outgoing because of it..
young kids that aren't around others have trouble with the golden rule,,,, "do unto others"
jane... I didn't know you had social anxiety, I wouldn't have asked if you had a daughter named carrie in the Halloween thread
the first step to any challenge is recognizing it,,,then try to do something about it- which you are doing and you are being pro-active so your kids aren't collateral damage of your anxieties,
I give you kudos to that
we have a public park nearby many bring their kids there and their are swingsets and other things to play on,,,i use to bring my son there when he was young and we would always meet and play with other kids
if you think this would be difficult,,,then you start kicking a soccer ball back and forth to your kids,,,other kids may come over and jump in to play
I have a 1 and 2 (almost 3) year old who do not get much socialization with other kids. We share a car and I'm a stay-at-home-mom. There are not many kids in our neighborhood, and I am not that good at making friends myself as I have social anxiety issues. With one car, it is hard to go many places to meet up with people and their kids so my kids can socialize. Soo.... we don't have many play dates with other kids. But, they do play with each other all the time. Is that enough at this age, or should I try and get over myself and my social anxiety issues, find friends with kids that live around us, and start having play dates regularly? When the kids are older, involved in activities, school, etc., I'm sure they will have plenty of socialization. But, for now, it depends on me and I'm not that social of a person. I will learn to be though if I must. I know they won't meet any other toddlers to play with by themselves.
I think you are fine. I am in my early forties. Quite frankly when I was growing up, I don't think there were "playdates", mother's day out programs, etc. Siblings played with each other. I think playgroups are more for Mommies to get out and about and less about kids. Seriously, why would a 1 year old *need* to be around other one year olds? BTW, I have 3 kids and I am in a playgroup, but like I said, it is more for me to meet other moms that it is for my children.
For now, I think you are definitely ok. Also, later on (2-3 years from now), you can gauge who they are personality wise and then go from there. That is, are they on the shy side? If so, then by all means step out of your comfort zone and join a playgroup, meet up with friends, etc. But if they are not, they will be fine.
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With one car, it is hard to go many places to meet up with people and their kids so my kids can socialize. Soo.... we don't have many play dates with other kids. But, they do play with each other all the time. Is that enough at this age, or should I try and get over myself and my social anxiety issues, find friends with kids that live around us, and start having play dates regularly? When the kids are older, involved in activities, school, etc., I'm sure they will have plenty of socialization. But, for now, it depends on me and I'm not that social of a person. I will learn to be though if I must. I know they won't meet any other toddlers to play with by themselves.
