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I would really appreciate any advice you have about smoothing this transition for my two daughters (3 yr and 1yr). I'm specifically concerned for the older one. We are purchasing a new home about 20 minutes away. This home needs work, so once we close on our current home and get the title for the new home, we'll have to stay with my MIL for at least a month to have work done. She lives about an hour away. I'm afraid this will be hard on my daughter. She's already a pretty sensitive kid and is going through a terrible 2-3 stage (hopefully a stage).
It would all be so much easier if we could make the move from our current home to the new one where she would have all her stuff, but that's not possible. Another concern I have is that we plan to keep them in the same daycare/preschool for the summer so there is not too much change. This place is five minutes from our current home. Our next door neighbor, who is very close with my children, picks up my daughter every week or so and brings her home for dinner with their family. Then, they'll just go across the yard for my daughter to come home. Should I not allow that during the transition? I worry that will make everything harder for her seeing her old home.
We close on June 30 (so scary!) and will move to my MILs for July and hopefully the new home in August.
Any advice or sharing of past experience would be greatly appreciated.
You child will adjust fine, if you adjust your attitude.
You use the terms "afraid", "concern", "worry", "scary" and your child will pick up on that.
You need to be more positive and upbeat, then they will be fine.
I would allow your neighbor to still pick up your daughter. Just tell your daughter ahead of time that you're moving and that your going to stay with grandma until the new house is ready. Make sure to drive by the new house and talk about the new house a lot.
We moved twice and both of our kids were almost 3. The first time it was my oldest and he turned 3 a month after we moved. That was a hard year. We moved 6 hours and 400 miles. The kids both adjusted as we put them in a new daycare and they did good. It was small and I think that really helped them.
We moved 18 months later a month before daughter turned 3. We moved in a week. We took the kids beds and a few toys and the stuff we would need until we could go back up to move it all down. We stayed with my IL's for a month and then moved into a rental house until we could move back into our house (which was rented). My daughter did just fine. We talked a lot about what we were doing and when we were going to do it so it was never a surprise.
2-3 is just a stage. I think the 3's were worse then the 2's.
The previous poster is right. If you're positive and upbeat about it she will follow your lead. Talk to her about it and let her help pack her box that will go to Grandma's.
Both times - we painted her room the same color and I bought extra wall stickers in the same pattern so it would look the same.
I had her help pack her things and write her name on the boxes...
When we were selling our house, we still needed to go there every week or so to mow the yard, etc... My husband and I alternated who did it so we didn't' have to take her up there.
Try to keep her focused on the new house and ways it will be "better" if possible
Kids are a lot more resilient that you think. We moved while our kids were 3 and 4. We also had an interim housing situation while waiting for our new house. Just look at is an adventure. Your kid will be fine.
You child will adjust fine, if you adjust your attitude.
You use the terms "afraid", "concern", "worry", "scary" and your child will pick up on that.
You need to be more positive and upbeat, then they will be fine.
I agree.
If you are thinking that it will be scary or she will be afraid you probably.will cause her to have those feelings. But if you imagine that it will be an exciting, positive new adventure then she will feel the same way.
Heck, most three year old would really, really enjoy getting to spend a whole .month with grand ma!
we had to live in an apartment for 4 months (and it wasn't a nice one because we couldn't find a nice one that would let us sign a short term lease) because our house sold before our new house was ready. The kids slept on a mattress and didn't have much of their toys or the "comforts" of a home. We called it "camping out" and they had a great time. Kids are very resilient and actually a lot more oblivious - which is a good thing - to adult concerns and worries.
I moved with my son when he was 3, and while we didn't have to move out of one place into temporary quarters, it was a similar thing in terms of closing, then having work done and it was a few weeks before we actually moved in. I tried to take him with me to the new house as much as possible, so that it would start to feel familiar. We made a special point to hang out in his room every time we went over and I ended up having some furniture moved in there before the rest of the stuff because of buying/getting handmedowns that went directly to the new house. I think that really helped because his new bed was there and it was pretty exciting to count down to when he'd get to move into his big boy bed. I also let him "pick" the paint color - not really but we talked about it ahead of time and I showed him the paint chips and let him think he was choosing.
During the transition, try to keep as much of your daughter's favorite stuff around as you can. Not everything of course, but let her fill up a big box or tote bin with the things she wants to have handy.
On actual move in day, get her room set up ASAP, so she can feel comfortable in it before going to bed that night, and also so she wakes up to the way it looked when she went to bed - don't try to unpack and change stuff around in there while she's sleeping. Have stuff ready to make her favorite breakfast the next morning and other things to keep making happy and positive associations with the new house.
We moved from NoNJ to NC/SC when my kids were 2 and 3 years old. It didn't take long for them to adjust and make friends at daycare, and after 10 years they don't even remember our lives in NoNJ. In fact, we're heading to NYC this summer and plan on driving by the old house so they can see where they spent their infancy. I predict they will be shocked to see how small our house was.
We lived for 3 months in an apartment when we first moved, and THEN moved into a house. They adjusted fine to being in different locations - it was like a vacation for them. At the same time we also transitioned him out of a crib and into a toddler bed, AND transitioned them into separate bedrooms (in NoNJ they shared a room - she in a toddler bed and he in a crib). No problems to be had.
You'll be fine, OP.
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