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For my kid, auto and health insurance, a paid off used car, a refillable gas and grocery card for emergencies, clothes and shoes for c'mas and b'day. The rest was scholarships and pt jobs and student loans after the scholarships ran out.
Holy Moly!! Where were all these people paying for their kids to attend college when I was 18? I got a swift kick out the door. Well, actually I was 17, I didn't turn 18 until September my Freshman year of my self-funded college career.
Hubby paid for his degree, housing, car, etc. etc. also.
Nope, not even a hint of trouble between the two adult children because we helped our daughter out more than our son. In fact, our son felt very guilty because he had some of the advantages that his sister did not have (well paying summer jobs, well paying medical "gigs", being able to sell plasma, etc.)
The bottom line was that he graduated with only $25,000 worth of student loan debt and our daughter ended up with over $60,000 in student loan debt, plus we ended up with a significant amount of parent student loan debt (mostly because my husband was permanently disabled the entire time our daughter was in college and partially disabled for years before that) so I had to support myself, my husband and my daughter while being semi-disabled myself (long story).
I should point out that the both attended top ranked public Universities. The costs would have been much lower if they had attended community colleges and lived at home. But, IMHO there is a trade off. Our son was accepted into the top ranked graduate program in his field in the entire United States. And is now doing research at the top ranked University in the entire world in his field. Would that have happened if he had spent two years at a community college so he would not have had any student loan debt? We will never know, but I rather doubt it.
Our daughter just found out this week that she was accepted into a highly competitive international program. Would that have happened if she had spent two years at a community college so she would not have had any student loan debt? We will never know, but I rather doubt it.
BTW Consider yourself VERY lucky, that you and your spouse have parents that can help their grandchildren with college expenses. During part of this time we were helping my elderly, disabled MIL with some of her financial needs instead of having the luxury and advantage of her helping our children with some of their college expenses.
So, as you can tell from this thread every family is different. You need to pay what you can afford and what you feel is best for your child.
Yes. The last of my parents died when our oldest was a freshman in high school. My brother and I divided what was left of their funds, and that helped pay for both of our kids' college, and some of my brother's kids' as well. DH's parents were alive and well, not needing any help from us, but not having any extra, either. It was what it was. You play the hand you're dealt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baconisgood
Unless your child cannot work a part time job and still make decent grades, I wouldn't pay for anything except the basics for them to attend college. Kids need to start getting work experience and money management skills before they graduate college.
Working and going to college is difficult. These kids can't make much more than minimum wage, either. On-campus jobs don't pay a whole lot. Even at a very low-priced state school, they're not going to make enough to even pay tuition, unless they luck into a great situation.
At one kid's college, the campus jobs were reserved for kids with work-study awards, and the town jobs paid about the same as the campus jobs, which wasn't much. Our daughter was working for a while, coaching gymnastics a couple hours a day, three days a week. It took up a lot of time in just getting to/from work. She said she was having trouble keeping up with all her reading and we said quit the job. She worked summers. The other kid was able to get an RA position and a job working for a prof during the school year, where time could be flexible around one's class schedule. She also worked in the summers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
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Yes, I admit that I was bragging and I apologize.
I probably should have explained it better in my first post. Obviously, people are far, far more willing to share (perhaps even embellish a little) the positive than admit their inadequacies online. I wanted to remind the OP that he would be reading far, far more of the very positive, wonderful stories than what happen in real life and far, far less of the "I was not prepared to help my child in college as much as I wanted to help them" or "My child graduated with $50,000/$100,000 in student loan debt" than what happen in real life.
Sort of like on the Retirement Forum where we see all those threads such as "I have one/two/three/whatever million dollars in retirement savings but I'm very worried that I will not be able to buy food when I retire."
When most of the real life people struggling to pay their bills during retirement are not posting on forums but are going to food banks, working part time jobs, living in shelters, doing without the internet, looking for extra "paying gigs", etc.
When C-D posters read the Retirement thread, IMHO, you get a really skewed point of view of how much typical people are actually saving for retirement because poster and after poster are bouncing around figures like one million, two million, three million dollars in savings and are concerned that they do not have enough money saved up. When most people who retire have far less than that amount.
I was trying to remind the OP that he probably would be receiving that type of skewed response to his question. Perhaps, I was in error on that point so I will take my leave.
I should add, germaine and I were on a forum recently where we were discussing these supposedly "full ride" athletic scholarships someone's friend's kid gets to a college that doesn't even give athletic scholarships. People brag, or they don't know the details.
Unless your child cannot work a part time job and still make decent grades, I wouldn't pay for anything except the basics for them to attend college. Kids need to start getting work experience and money management skills before they graduate college.
Why are they waiting until they are 18/19 to start getting work experience and money management skills? Good lord, that's the kind of thing that gets taught with allowances, etc. when they are 9 and 10 years old! Both of my kids had summer jobs lifeguarding and waiting tables starting at 15; during the school year, one had a weekend refereeing job and the other did a lot of neighborhood babysitting. By the time they got to 18/19, they had already had work experience and had been managing their money for almost a decade. At 19, after going through a Dave Ramsey course for teenagers, my daughter was already setting up her own IRA, without any prompting from me.
Expecting an 18 or 19 year old to plop down in the middle of a university/college experience, get a job and learn to manage money all at the same time does not often result in successful outcomes.
Holy Moly!! Where were all these people paying for their kids to attend college when I was 18? I got a swift kick out the door. Well, actually I was 17, I didn't turn 18 until September my Freshman year of my self-funded college career.
Hubby paid for his degree, housing, car, etc. etc. also.
That is all well and good but when the cost of college attendance has been 100s of times the rate of inflation, it is no longer possible to work your way through a university education.
Minimum wage was about $2 an hr in 1972, and cost of attendance was about $1300 a year. So a kids could work for the summer (15 weeks full time) and pay for their entire college. Today the minimum wage is $7.25 and coa is over $15K. Todays students would need to work 2068 hours or 51 full time 40 hour weeks to pay for college.
That is all well and good but when the cost of college attendance has been 100s of times the rate of inflation, it is no longer possible to work your way through a university education.
Minimum wage was about $2 an hr in 1972, and cost of attendance was about $1300 a year. So a kids could work for the summer (15 weeks full time) and pay for their entire college. Today the minimum wage is $7.25 and coa is over $15K. Todays students would need to work 2068 hours or 51 full time 40 hour weeks to pay for college.
I'm only 32. My college days weren't that long ago. And I wasn't able to pay for all of my college bills at the time. I took out loans. Yes, they're a pain. But it was an investment in myself.
The increase in costs is all the more reason for kids to pitch in and not expect mom and dad to pay for it. I'll help my kids where I can but I have no intentions of paying for their entire college education. And I won't pay for any if they've never had any kind of job before .
That is all well and good but when the cost of college attendance has been 100s of times the rate of inflation, it is no longer possible to work your way through a university education.
Minimum wage was about $2 an hr in 1972, and cost of attendance was about $1300 a year. So a kids could work for the summer (15 weeks full time) and pay for their entire college. Today the minimum wage is $7.25 and coa is over $15K. Todays students would need to work 2068 hours or 51 full time 40 hour weeks to pay for college.
Excellent reminder for adults who paid their own way though college 25 or 35 or more years ago. It is not like comparing apples to oranges it like comparing a wooden stick to a finished house.
That is all well and good but when the cost of college attendance has been 100s of times the rate of inflation, it is no longer possible to work your way through a university education.
Minimum wage was about $2 an hr in 1972, and cost of attendance was about $1300 a year. So a kids could work for the summer (15 weeks full time) and pay for their entire college. Today the minimum wage is $7.25 and coa is over $15K. Todays students would need to work 2068 hours or 51 full time 40 hour weeks to pay for college.
Amen. College for me, at an out-of-state university, was a whopping $990 a semester. By the time I graduated, it had risen to $1,150. Activity fee, $300. My parents were hoping that I'd choose an in-state university, at $265 a semester, but the other university had a specialized curriculum that I was interested in. Room was $286 a semester. Food, I got an allowance of $100 a month. Of course, this was the mid-70's. My summer work and work during the school year (transcribing class recordings) paid for clothes, books, gas, beach trips and whatever extras I wanted.
My son's out-of-state tuition at the same school, 30 years later, if he hadn't been on scholarship: $32,000 a year. Activity fee, $1,500. Campus housing, $6,000 a year. It's mind-numbing.
My parents actually offered to help my son with school and a car. I told them no. He needs to work for the things he wants. He's an adult now.
Interesting. So your son is an adult, yet you still intercept/reject gifts on his behalf. How does that work?
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Holy Moly!! Where were all these people paying for their kids to attend college when I was 18? I got a swift kick out the door. Well, actually I was 17, I didn't turn 18 until September my Freshman year of my self-funded college career.
