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It's been a while since I posted here. I'm divorced for two years now and my youngest daughter is in her second year of college. My ex and I get along much better now. Anyway this past weekend my daughter comes home for the weekend. She has use of a car which I pay the insurance on. Friday evening it was raining and while driving to meet a friend she hydroplaned and got into an accident. She called me, and I left work to make sure she was ok. When I got there the Police were on the scene and all of the exchange of information had already taken place. My daughter's car was damaged, but drivable. I made sure she was ok and told her to drive her car back to the house and that I would follow her. My ex who was also there asked why I didn't drive her car, and I informed her that the since the Police have deemed the car safe to drive she could drive her car and I would follow in my truck to make sure she got home ok. Once my daughter got home she was crying and upset over the accident. I comforted her and was about to leave when my ex wanted to talk about what happened. I told my ex that it is not uncommon for a person to continue to drive to a destination even after an accident, and that this is what she may have to do when she is on her own. My ex thinks I was insensitive to the experience my daughter just went through, and I should have let her drive my truck while I drove her car home for her. I said these things happen, and as long as the car was safe to drive there was no need to change that. She has to suck it up and be an adult and handle her business. I then told her that I would discuss at a later date how my daughter would pay the difference from the inevitable rate increase I would have to pay. My ex then tried to point to our divorce decree which stated that I would pay the insurance. I said I intend to continue to pay the insurance, but the difference due to a rate hike because of a speeding ticket or accident is on her. I think I was there for my daughter and I kept it professional with my ex.
You made your traumatized daughter drive the damaged vehicle home while you followed her.
You are also making the daughter pay the difference in your insurance premium when it rises due to this accident.
You ex disagrees with this.
Some questions:
Why didn't the ex drive the car if it was so important to her/him?
Does the daughter work? If not, how IS she going to pay for the insurance?
I wouldn't have let her drive the car home, especially if she was as traumatized as you say - and if it were still raining and dark. What if she got into ANOTHER accident? You following in the truck was not going to stop that.
It's been a while since I posted here. I'm divorced for two years now and my youngest daughter is in her second year of college. My ex and I get along much better now. Anyway this past weekend my daughter comes home for the weekend. She has use of a car which I pay the insurance on. Friday evening it was raining and while driving to meet a friend she hydroplaned and got into an accident. She called me, and I left work to make sure she was ok. When I got there the Police were on the scene and all of the exchange of information had already taken place. My daughter's car was damaged, but drivable. I made sure she was ok and told her to drive her car back to the house and that I would follow her. My ex who was also there asked why I didn't drive her car, and I informed her that the since the Police have deemed the car safe to drive she could drive her car and I would follow in my truck to make sure she got home ok. Once my daughter got home she was crying and upset over the accident. I comforted her and was about to leave when my ex wanted to talk about what happened. I told my ex that it is not uncommon for a person to continue to drive to a destination even after an accident, and that this is what she may have to do when she is on her own. My ex thinks I was insensitive to the experience my daughter just went through, and I should have let her drive my truck while I drove her car home for her. I said these things happen, and as long as the car was safe to drive there was no need to change that. She has to suck it up and be an adult and handle her business. I then told her that I would discuss at a later date how my daughter would pay the difference from the inevitable rate increase I would have to pay. My ex then tried to point to our divorce decree which stated that I would pay the insurance. I said I intend to continue to pay the insurance, but the difference due to a rate hike because of a speeding ticket or accident is on her. I think I was there for my daughter and I kept it professional with my ex.
Your husband is way overprotective here. If anything, your adult daughter should have handled her own business altogether. I'm not really understanding why you even had to be there in the first place if the accident was minor enough that the car was still able to be driven.
And, yes, she should pay the difference in insurance rate increase, as well as whatever your deductible is.
So you will force your daughter to pay for "an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury," which is the definition of an accident? Hydroplaning certainly causes accidents.
And sorry, I agree with your Ex. This is, I assume, the first time your daughter has been involved in an accident. It is a bit of an emotional experience and frightening. I've been rear-ended several times while legally stopped at a red light. Even though the incidents were minor, it was still caused me to become a bit anxious about continuing to drive. One's level of adrenaline goes up and causes anxiety.
Personally I think your "suck it up" comment is your anger over an potential insurance rate increase coming.
So you will force your daughter to pay for "an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury," which is the definition of an accident? Hydroplaning certainly causes accidents.
The daughter is an adult. This is what adults do. They pay for the extra costs in "an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury," that they were involved in.
Good for the mother for making the daughter take responsibility in her life.
Your husband is way overprotective here. If anything, your adult daughter should have handled her own business altogether. I'm not really understanding why you even had to be there in the first place if the accident was minor enough that the car was still able to be driven.
And, yes, she should pay the difference in insurance rate increase, as well as whatever your deductible is.
Ha, kind of interesting that everyone (edit: nevermind, not everyone, just me!) thought you were the mother. That's kind of weird. Anyway, I think you are totally in the right.
Good for you for teaching your daughter that she has responsibility in things instead of feeling entitled to just be given everything.
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