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the situation perplexes me. How can one feel happy knowing their kid is being born in such a disadvantaged situation?
It has been explained. If you don't get it, you don't get it. I sincerely pity you for not being able to understand this, and for thinking that money is the most important thing in life. I don't know if it was how you were raised, or what, but it is sad. I keep hoping that you will take some of what is posted here to heart, but you don't. Would you feel better if she had come into work and told everyone that she was very upset to be having a baby?
I think it's great to have more money than less ask things being equal and you don't have to sell your soul to get there. On balance, the average person is likely happier having more money than less. But you have to understand that this is all relative. Perhaps this mom to be feels financially okay with $30k because they made $20k before and this meets their needs. Perhaps that are happy because they never knew if they could ever have a baby and this is their miracle. All in all, you are just a spectator in life and have no actual knowledge of their life so perhaps, it really isn't any of the business.
In general, I believe that the first and most important ingredient in parenting is love. I also know that you really don't need much money to raise a child at least early. 1st year, for at least 6 months, your child could exist solely on breast milk. After that, that honestly don't need much extra that is expensive... Vegetables, grains, meat that you probably already eat and in tiny quantiles. Clothes are really super cheap.. Goodwill, Walmart etc ... infact one could get all manner of baby hand me downs unless they are too good for them. Baby gear again can be gotten from friends and family hand me downs or cheapo from Goodwill or Craigslist. You buy more when you have more money and most of it crap anyway... I remember all the stuff I boughtn we had our first and a lot of them were kinda waste of space like who needs a wipes warmer..
I do have to say that one your child is grown, that would remember that you as the parent loved, cared and advocated for them than whether you bought them a $1000 stroller..
Unfortunately I had to grow up in a poor drug riddled neighborhood in Brooklyn. And you know what....a lot of my childhood really sucked. I stayed glued to a TV watching 80 sitcoms with families , White and Black, living well and it gave me something to reach for. My mom had me at 20, and honestly, probably should've had me at 30 which woulda saved me a s*** ton of heartache. We were essentially the working poor, although their were families worse off, and why.....because they had too many kids!!
I agree with you, to a certain extent. I think more people should think hard about having children they cannot support. Instead of being grateful to the taxpayer who funds their welfare, they simply resent those who are better off than they are.
My own parents had me when they were young, poor and still had a lot of growing up to do themselves. They got involved with a cult religion, I'm thinking if they'd been older and more mature, this wouldn't have happened.
The OP has no knowledge of the woman other than hearsay about her salary from her mother.
How much more do you need to know. The only other GOOD options would be if she has a trust fund (doubt it), is seeing a 15-20K raise soon (doubt it) or if the dad makes a ton of money (although most likely not either).
Anything else requires burdening somebody else for help. Whether that person includes grandparents, relatives or the U.S. Government.
Can she raise the kid on that pay, technically yes. But raising a kid comfortably requires more. Why start you kid behind the 8 ball?
1) It's none of your business.
2) Your opinions on (in your estimation) lesser mortals has been well established.
3) Happiness is not all about money.
4) You are making many assumptions about a situation of which you know very few details.
5) It's none of your business.
the situation perplexes me. How can one feel happy knowing their kid is being born in such a disadvantaged situation?
Posters have explained it.
There are good things in life and bad things in life. Even if a person were to have a leg amputated, are you of the belief that the person should no longer be happy in life, since he's in a "disadvantaged situation," as you put it?
Because a person is poor, and recognizes that, doesn't mean that the person can not be happy about a newborn baby or anything else in life. Some people are poor, some are not. Are only rich people allowed to be happy with the basics of life, like having a baby?
BTW, 30k a year is not poor. If she stays working and gets raises every year, she'll be making $35k, then $40k, then $60k, and so on. She may get a Christmas bonus, then she'll have insurance, maybe a retirement account contribution from her employer. This is a normal income for millions of Americans. (But like you admitted, you don't even know her salary.)
Some would say she is blessed. You need to watch the movie, "I Remember Mama." It explains all you need to know about motherhood in America. It's a true novel about the author's mother. Seriously...go on your Roku and see if you can find the movie. Excellent movie.
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