Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Spouse would like to introduce video gaming to our only child (in kindergarten now). I'm uncomfortable.
I'm wondering, what do we need to do as parents to ensure our child does not become a video game addict?
Besides ensuring our child is only playing age-appropriate content, what do we need to do as parents to ensure that her playing video games now is a not a determiment to her development?
I've been playing video games since before Kindergarten and I'm almost 30 now.
Besides alcoholism, school shootings, cocaine and heroine addiction and almost turning gay... I'd say I turned out just fine.
My niece and nephew were playing games on tablets in phones even when they were as young as 4yo. It's easy to be "judgey" about that, but I was reminded that I played on a Famicom when I was 6. Also, I got a firsthand account how exhausting it was to look after them even for a 5 hour portion of the day. I can only imagine one would be tempted to give them the tablet/phone if it means shutting them up for a bit of quiet. They seem to go crazy whenever they don't have it, but then again, they'll have tantrums with other things too, so IMO, it's more so just being able to practice and enforce moderation.
When you give something forbidden as a reward it will create problems.
Look at all the adults who were given food as rewards/treats. Unhealthy attachment leads to unhealthy lifestyle. Same thing with video games. It doesn't need to be a reward or bribe. Doing that, you put your kid in control. Why not just ALWAYS limit the interaction? Then there are zero issues surrounding it. It's not a bribe, it's not a reward, it's not taken away as a punishment .... there will be no emotional tug of war or overemphasis on it. Your child will learn a healthy relationship with screen time because you set the example from the start.
I wish my inlaws did that with my BIL. He's a screen time zombie.
Personally, I'd introduce my kids to foreign languages, musical instruments, sports etc. Video games aren't going anywhere. If your kid has friends and goes to school, they'll eventually be intrigued and perhaps want a console for themselves. It's like having a kid that loves spinach and introducing them to Twinkies. There's nothing wrong with having an occasional Twinkie, but if your child shows no interest in said Twinkie, no reason to introduce them to it.
I know that there is a gamer stereotype of a guy in dirty clothes,eating hot pockets and living in his moms basement but it is so far from the truth of the adults I know who are "gamers" as to be laughable. My husband is likely what most would call an "addict" when it comes to gaming. He plays for 1-2 hrs a day during the week, with a longer session on Sunday's maybe 4 hrs or so. But like many gamers, it's social for him. He and his brothers who live housings of miles away, have schedules that low them to "meet up" in the game, and that's how they get together. Half the time they are just chit chatting, though they would never admit that. They are not interested in sports so they (and their likeminded friends) skip the football obsession and play which ever game they are working on instead.
I watch tv for an hour or two a day, and he doesn't. So time wise it sort of evens out. But I don't understand the notion that games are a different, somehow evil, hobby. Like any interest you kid has, encourage the interest while maintaining balance.
On a side note, my kids, all grown now, loved gaming with dad. I still remember them all laughing and yelling while playing tiny hawk on rainy days. Given the number of broken teeth, collar bones, and cost, I think I sometimes preferrred the games to the times they all went out real skateboarding together.
Personally, I'd introduce my kids to foreign languages, musical instruments, sports etc. Video games aren't going anywhere. If your kid has friends and goes to school, they'll eventually be intrigued and perhaps want a console for themselves. It's like having a kid that loves spinach and introducing them to Twinkies. There's nothing wrong with having an occasional Twinkie, but if your child shows no interest in said Twinkie, no reason to introduce them to it.
This.
And as far as the hand-eye coordination argument goes how about:
Learning to cook, measure, chop, knife skills heck even using a CAN OPENER (yes, kids cannot do this today)
Home repairs, learn to use a screwdriver, hammer and nail, tie knots, use a level, replace batteries
Camping skills, setting up a tent, chairs, campfire, etc.
Basics of sewing, ironing
There are so many USABLE skills that adults today cannot do.
I can think of so many other useful things kids could be doing.
They are not interested in sports so they (and their likeminded friends) skip the football obsession and play which ever game they are working on instead.
...
Given the number of broken teeth, collar bones, and cost, I think I sometimes preferrred the games to the times they all went out real skateboarding together.
They aren't interested in sports because someone let them stay inside and play video games all day. And the cycle is repeating.
My boys are only allowed to play video games during the weekend after we've returned home from their weekend activities. They love playing but also love being active. I don't mind video games although we've banned shooting (other humans) games in our household.
Aren't they entitled to anything just for being a child aged member of the family?
Yup I totally starve my kids and leave them out in the cold until they finish their chores.
Gah, that'll teach me to generalize, lol.
Here let me try one last time: I frequently encourage my children to earn privileges like screen time by first completing their responsibilities like homework and piano practice. Most of the time that my children ask for something that is a want, and not a need, like a toy from the store, I respond by asking them what they will do to earn it, and they frequently offer to do extra chores around the house. It works well for us.
Better now?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
