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Has anyone tried 1-2-3 Magic and does it work? We have tried "Love & Logic" and I think the concepts are good but just not realistic for every situation that calls for discipline (for us anyway).
I'm not familiar with what the magic part means but I do count to three with the kids. I started with telling the kids if they didn't do xxxx by the time I counted to three then there would by yyyyy consequence. I always picked something suited to the situation and sure to motivate them. Most important thing is I always follow through. I've done this for years. Now I usually don't even have to state the consequence, I just start counting. It works!
P.S. Sometimes I will tell them I will count to 10 or some other number if I think the task will need a little more time.
I think it's a good tool if you are normally resorting to screaming or spanking out of anger, or if your child has no boundaries at all. It can help you as a parent gain control and discipline appropriately before you get angry... most people do not get angry in 3 seconds. It also sets boundaries for the children, if you follow through with the "time out" when warranted.
not sure what the magic part of the 1-2-3 is, but I have been counting to 3 for quite some time with my almost 3 year-old. it gives him time to make his own choices or experience consequences, it's up to him. he knows when the counting starts that i mean business, and it gives him a chance to take a look at the situation. i can't imagine going right into the taking away of a toy or putting his shoes on for him (at least the ones' he can do himself) without first giving him the opportunity to change his behavior. follow through is the most important part of this. you've got to follow through everytime if he/she does not budge.
We are definitely giving it a try and it seems to work well. The key is consistency. They seem to like having better boundaries. I notice if we start to not follow through on 3 they do test more so we are trying to be consistent no matter how hard it is to go up and down the stairs again.
I do not spank nor want to spank so this seems to be a good alternative. I am just wondering what to do if we are out in public, at the grocery store, in a restaraunt, etc.
Timeouts can be given anywhere... I've had to leave the grocery store for a few minutes with my daughter so that she could finish her tantrum in the car. In a restaurant, it helps if you have another adult along, of course, but if necessary, you can just let the waitress know that you'll be back in a few minutes, and take the child to the car. If the behavior is really bad, you can leave and go home, and put the child to bed for the night (or afternoon, or whatever)... I've only had to call off dinner en route to the restaurant once that I can remember!
I do not spank nor want to spank so this seems to be a good alternative. I am just wondering what to do if we are out in public, at the grocery store, in a restaraunt, etc.
If it is extreme, which has only happened once to us, we leave.
Prior to going into the restuarant or store, we explain to our son how he is expected to behave, but even more so, how we know he can behave.
We also try not to go to stores at nap time or during meal times.
For mild issues, we look at him straight in the eye & whisper that he is choosing the wrong way to behave, etc.
We used this system with good success when the kids were younger. My husband is an over-talker. He would find himself knee-deep in an argument with a four year old without even realizing it. Yack-yack-yack and no one ever listened to him. 123 Magic helped him chatter less and act more consistently. It was easier for me to catch on to than it was for him, but it was helpful for both of us to learn to just act consistently and effectively and yack less.
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