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Understood, and I have made allowances for clearly temporary homes, like dorm rooms while they attend college, but once they are in their own housing, they take all of their stuff with them. I adore my children, but I am not maintaining a free Stor-N-Lock for their convenience. If current accommodations are not appropriate for precious or fragile belongings, then they are responsible for finding and paying for secure storage themselves. I'll admit I'm a bit of a hard ass about this, but my philosophy is that if you're adult enough to live on your own, even in a mud hut on the other side of the world, then you're adult enough to store your own stuff. I have my own life to live, and I have plans just like they do, which does not include maintaining a large home so they can forever put off dealing with all of their accumulated crap. Get it out of here!
Thanks for the clarification. On CD some people had stated that when they turned 18 and went to college their parents got rid of their things.
BTW, I am widowed and live alone in a two bedroom apartment so the few boxes that my daughter has stored in my guest bedroom (while she is in Africa) is not an inconvenience at all.
Last edited by germaine2626; 03-27-2018 at 07:00 PM..
Have continued to nag the three with their own houses to come get their ****.
A friend of mine sent a large box home with each adult child when they would come for holiday meals or vacations. If they claimed to not have enough room in their car or in their suitcases to take it home the rule was that they could sort through the stuff in the garage (put the junk in the garbage or stuff in the Goodwill box) but none of it could return inside mom & dad's house. For that family it worked out very well and sometimes the kids would come early or make a special trip and pack multiple boxes in their car. All their stuff is now gone.
Actually, now that I think about it I have known several families that handled it that way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy
Once our son bought his house we shipped off a couple of trunks of his stuff he had asked us to keep to let him store in his own house
My mother got rid of my Little Golden Books (some had accompanying records). She didn't throw them out, just gave some to the church nursery, and they ended up scribbled in and torn. Others went to my cousin's brat (who never appreciated books) and were also torn and scribbled in. I never did that to my books, it still bothers me how they were treated.
I kept almost all of my daughters' stuff. They're stored in boxes in the attic, and I've started going through them. A couple of weeks ago, I found a box full of oldest daughter's trolls (from the late 80's, early 90's). She had two dozen of them...with a little troll tea table and a tiny tea set. I got them all out, washed them (a couple lost their hair, but we glued it back) and showed them to oldest grandson (who is 4 1/2). His question was, "Why are they NAKED???" He set them around the tea table for a "naked tea party".
I had two girls, and we had boxes and boxes of toy food, toy dishes, toy pots and pans, and a Fisher Price tea set. I got those out and cleaned them up. My grandsons enjoy playing with them...there's a Fisher Price "birthday cake", toy cupcakes, cookies, scoops of ice cream, etc. Who says boys can't play with toy food and dishes? Oldest grandson's favorite stuffed animal is a whale, and last summer we hosted "Whale's Birthday Party" EVERY DAY. That's an OLD whale! A plastic toy carrot came in handy last week when we made a snowman and couldn't find a real carrot for his nose.
Youngest daughter still has 6 treasured teddy bears her grandmother (my mother) gave her. Long story short, my mother got the first bear free in a department store promotion with a $50 purchase. It had on pink pajamas and a night cap, and was asleep on a on a matching pillow. She gave it to DD for her first Christmas, and it ended up being her FAVORITE toy. . She carried it everywhere until she was three (by then it had lost both front paws and was basically a rag with two back feet and a head). In-laws were babysitting her one day, and when she was napping in her car seat, they threw it out into a dumpster. She was inconsolable. When my mother heard about this, she was absolutely furious they threw out DD's favorite toy. She went back to the department store to find another one...and came back with TEN...she bought every one they had left in stock. By then, they were destined for the tent sale, and she only paid $1.00 a piece. If there had been 20 left, I think she would have bought them all. She was really mad at the in-laws.
So, 20 some years later, DD still has a collection of six of those bears, in very good condition. One of them had a swim in a turtle pond at Gator Land in Florida, but she cleaned up nicely.
I loved doing that as a child! I think it helped inspire my passion for cooking.
I boxed all their stuff up and gave it to them . I'm not a storage facility . Once you let that stuff start happening , the stuff only gets bigger like cars , motorcycles etc and the ones that don't run or start and look like crap . Nope I don't allow storage at my house except what I want to store .
I don't have any of my kids' things, as they moved out, their things went with them and they kept/gave away their things on their own.
However, my mom still has tons of our stuff from childhood and she is a neat hoarder. She believes everything is so valuable because it's old. She won't part with our childhood toys or get rid of boxes of clothes or school papers that is stored in her attic and closets. She has items from all the family members who have passed away stored in her house as well.
It's all very strange. I've had to beg to get my things out of her house, LOL. My wedding dress from my 1st marriage was taking up half a closet, finally got her to give it to me and I let my 2nd husband take it to the dump. A few months ago she finally let me put all my 40 year old bridesmaids' dresses in the garbage.
I guess that's why I've always passed my kids' items on to them immediately.
I donated anything left behind to Goodwill or the Women's Shelter. They always need toys and kid's clothes. I am not a storage facility. Even now I have some furniture that needs to be purged in my son's bedroom. As far as I'm concerned once you move out you take your stuff with you as soon as possible or it gets discarded.
That may sound mean but when my husband died I had to move from a large 3 bedroom house with a double car garage to a 2 bedroom apartment with little storage.
Naw, you just ship their stuff . And give them the date of shipment.
But that would mean that I would have to pack the crap up.
On another note, I moved out when I turned 18 but all my stuff was packed up and stored in the attic (Mrs. NBP has the same at her parents' house).
My mother then started to sell my stuff off at yard sales and what not, typically classic toys. One example was that she sold a toy tractor, metal, that went with this extensive farm set (sold the metal barn too) but didn't sell the pull along implements, plow, wagon, animals, etc. that went with it.
Of course she didn't picture the day I'd have kids to play with the toys.
The worst thing she sold, and it was my fault for storing it at her house instead of mine but that was my psychological issue, was my USN flight jacket. That fetched $2. I only knew because I was in town visiting her (meaning working my ass off on her house) and I saw someone at the grocery wearing it. The dumbass didn't even bother taking off my name patch.
As a note, my brother's flight jacket was there, too, but it didn't get sold. He retrieved it when she went assisted living and the house was sold. My bike was sold, his wasn't. Hmmm, I'm seeing a pattern.
My sister's husband's parents died within months of each other in their mid-eighties. He and his sister went to clean out their house and discovered that his mother had saved every single one of their school papers in boxes in the basement.
As the child, my parents have been clearing with me the childhood stuff, and other stuff acquired since then, that can be thrown out. The sentimental guy in me says I'd like to keep all, or 90% of it. The realistic side says I can easily afford to throw away about half of it. I purchased a book that I have YET to touch. If it's been sitting there for over a decade, then chances are, I'm not going to start now. I strive to rid 75%. That may not be enough, but at least it shows I'm making progress.
My dad himself fell victim to the "buying too much junk" throughout his life, so I feel him on that, and TBF, he threw away no small amount of things over the years (sometimes out of straight necessity, like when moving). That he's older, and some things just drive him more crazy than they used to.
The stuff I still have at least do NOT take up much space, while others do have more emphasis on me.
My favorite thing about these threads is learning how many people have absolutely no sentimental attachment, to anything or anyone. What exactly prompted you to have children at all?
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