Start Preschool at 3 or 4? (daycare, infant, toddler, appropriate)

[sami87]

Hello - looking for some personal experience / opinions from others on this one, as my husband and I are feeling frustrated and confused on making a decision.

We have a 2 year old who has been at a wonderful home daycare since she was 4 months old (we both work FT and our families are 3-4 hours away). They used to have a full house of 8 other children; ours was the youngest / second youngest up until this past fall, when the 3-4 year old kids transitioned to preschool. Now, there are only two other kids with her, 6-8 months younger, incl. one who has slightly different hours and doesn’t come on Fridays. An infant will join in the spring.

I am due in September with our second. I am 100% going to have Baby join the home daycare. We love and trust our home daycare and without getting into a million reasons why- I’ll just say that they are the kind of caretakers everyone wants for their children. We’re very happy there.

That being said, I’ve been obsessing as to whether or not I should move my toddler to a bigger center/ preschool, largely for socializing purposes, since she really only has one peer at home daycare, who is 6 months younger, if that even counts (at 12, no big deal, but 1.5-2 is pretty different, from what I’ve seen). Our potential plan wouldn’t be to move her until December, when she is 3 and it’s been a couple months since Baby, so not bombarding her with too much change all at once.

The preschool class would be a ratio of 1:10, with the chance of going up to 20 kids with a second teacher. I think she would really love being around more kids, especially her age. We left the newborn bubble and essentially went straight into our COVID bubble, and it’s been pretty limited in terms of social events and interaction for her. She’d have more space to play and perhaps do more activities geared toward her age since she’d be with all 3 year olds.

The confusion: Our home daycare is literally a 7-9 minute WALK / 2 minute drive from our house. With both of us working, my husband occasionally traveling, and no help in the area (we have a dog we juggle too), this has been a lifesaver- cutting out the added commute. Home daycare is also $100/week less.

We’re excited and have planned for Baby #2, but we’re naturally a little nervous about juggling more. We accept that there will be of course more to balance and strategize, but we’re wondering if we should add the stress and challenge of new germs/ COVID closures from a bigger school, more costly care, & 2 separate pick ups/drop offs to our day, from the jump with a second child. We’re willing to do it if it’s best for Toddler, but how do we know what’s best if she is already in a caring environment + learning (she can already count to 10 - higher with help, say all the days of the week, all the months of the year, knows all her colors, shapes, and speaks some Spanish).

If we did move her to preschool in December, she’d also be there for almost 3 full years before KG, which I’m not sure is necessary. If we didnt move her this year at 3, we’d move her next fall when she turns 4.

Short version: transition 3 year old to preschool, largely for the opportunity to socialize with more of her peers in a bigger space or wait until she’s 4 bc it’s simpler for Mom and Dad with new baby? Thanks!

[QuietOpinion]

I'd say that either way, she'll do well in her loving household but I can see the benefit of moving her when she is 3 to be around about 10 kids to 1 if you want her to be in a more social environment. Alternatively, she's getting a lot of personalized attention where she is. I'd probably think about what you want the focus to be at each stage and what she is learning. If she will be getting more personalized intellectual development where she is, that might be great but otherwise the preschool probably offers more social development.

In terms of navigating Covid and the variants, I agree that odds of illness are reduced where she is. That's a tough situation so good luck with whatever you decide. I agree that there are large differences at that age and generally kids move to a more social setting at 3. Either way, I'd focus on preparing her for kindergarten.

[bufflove]

You might get better advice based on actual data from people educated in early childhood education in a different forum. My personal, layman opinion is that it depends in part on your kid's personality. My kid started preschool at 3 because he was very shy around his peers and needed the extra socialization practice. It also depends on the daycare provider's focus. A preschool will have a series of structured and unstructured activities that will change daily. If the home daycare provider's focus is primarily on the younger children's basic feeding/diapering/safety needs then that might leave significantly less focus on your kid's very different needs when it comes to developmentally appropriate stimulation.