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So I have a strange situation with a girl my daughter become school besties with this year. I am almost certain the girls mom does not like me because of a minor situation that happened almost 4 years ago Long story short, I knew this mom on an aquaintance level, as my other other child was in her kids class. We attended their party and would chat at school events. I did find a few thing unsettling, like how she immediately stated talking smack about another child to me within 5 min of chatting with her. Anyway, my oldest and her kid barely knew each other, but she invited us to her bday party. Night before both my kids are extremely sick and I canceled the night before, but letting her know how sorry we were. I know for a fact her child had tons of people attending and it was not like we just didn't show up.
Well after that, and it happened about 2x, if I would see her in public, she would turn look at me, turn her body and then if there was a by her, she would say something and then that person would look at me. I find it beyond petty that a grown adult would take a cancellation to a party this hard, but apparently she did. A few months later I get a strange FB request from her so accepted. I see her again at a class meet and greet this school year, and again, I try to make eye contact, give a smile, but she turns her back to me and then says something, making the other mom she was with look at me.
Unless I am imaging things, it appears she still has some sort of issue with me. So of course my kid becomes best friends with her daughter this year and she gets invited to her party. My daughter begged to go. The kids are almost 12 so I am crossing my fingers I can just drop and go. But in case I can't do you think this lady is going to behave, well like a 12 year old, and be ignoring/talking about me the whole time. Would you have my husband go instead? Should I say when we arrive, I have to leave? I guess I've never been in this type of situation and I am dreading going to this
Not everyone likes everyone and some are downright shallow. Maybe she does not like your hair or accent or whatever. I would pretty much ignore her and, if your daughter asks, just say something general.
OP, is it normal for a parent of each child invited to a b-day party, to stay for the party, as if chaperoning their child? That didn't used to be the case. Why/how did that become a practice? I remember my first b-day party, I was in second grade, and parents just dropped their kids off. Certainly for 12-year-olds, there would be no need for parental supervision...?
How does your daughter feel at 12, about having a parent hang around a "tween" party? By that age, kids are (or used to be, in prior generations) feeling like they're not little kids anymore, and want a little independence. But I don't know, maybe after a generation of "helicopter" parenting, accompanying kids who are almost teens has been normalized. I wonder what the cut-off age is for that: the first teen year? Later teen years?
I'm uncomfortable with your description about that one mother's behavior around other moms. What it sounds like, by your description, verges on defamation. You've witnessed her twice now, saying something "off" about you to other parents. Probably nothing will come of it, but I'd keep my eye on that, if I were you, in case in a couple of years it somehow comes back to haunt you in some way, if you're active in the community or the school system.
OP, is it normal for a parent of each child invited to a b-day party, to stay for the party, as if chaperoning their child? That didn't used to be the case. Why/how did that become a practice? I remember my first b-day party, I was in second grade, and parents just dropped their kids off. Certainly for 12-year-olds, there would be no need for parental supervision...?
How does your daughter feel at 12, about having a parent hang around a "tween" party? By that age, kids are (or used to be, in prior generations) feeling like they're not little kids anymore, and want a little independence. But I don't know, maybe after a generation of "helicopter" parenting, accompanying kids who are almost teens has been normalized. I wonder what the cut-off age is for that: the first teen year? Later teen years?
I'm uncomfortable with your description about that one mother's behavior around other moms. What it sounds like, by your description, verges on defamation. You've witnessed her twice now, saying something "off" about you to other parents. Probably nothing will come of it, but I'd keep my eye on that, if I were you, in case in a couple of years it somehow comes back to haunt you in some way, if you're active in the community or the school system.
I agree with you 100% percent lol. Yes, I live in helicopter land, me not being a helicopter, but the 2 parties we have been to recently, 1 party parents stayed and the other 1, all parents left. I know my kid is fine with me leaving. This is a pool party and it looks like we are only 1 of 2 school friends invited, the rest are friends she has on the outside. As far as what is being said about me, I can't prove anything and have no clue what she is saying or could say. I mean I'm going to assume she's not wrapped 100% tight to act like this over a declined bday invite...but you never know. It sucks for my daughter, but I don't choose her friends for her and her and this girl, well just clicked really well.
Oh and all my parties growing up were drop off, from kindergarten on...
OP, is it normal for a parent of each child invited to a b-day party, to stay for the party, as if chaperoning their child? That didn't used to be the case. Why/how did that become a practice? I remember my first b-day party, I was in second grade, and parents just dropped their kids off. Certainly for 12-year-olds, there would be no need for parental supervision...?
Some non-supervisory reasons why some parents stick around (in my experience).
1. The drop-off, pick-up times vs. how far one lives. If I'm driving 15 miles for a 2 hour party, making 2 round trips is wasteful and tiring.
2. Getting to know the other parents as our kids approach the teen years.
3. Help other parents with cleanup, etc.
4. Genuinely enjoy the company
Some non-supervisory reasons why some parents stick around (in my experience).
1. The drop-off, pick-up times vs. how far one lives. If I'm driving 15 miles for a 2 hour party, making 2 round trips is wasteful and tiring.
2. Getting to know the other parents as our kids approach the teen years.
3. Help other parents with cleanup, etc.
4. Genuinely enjoy the company
Haha, you just listed all the reasons you will find me chilling in the nearest Starbucks for 2 hours.
Heck, if my kid and hers were besties, I'd tell my kid to help with the cleanup and text me when they need a pick up. I mean, she already hates you and thinks you're a crap bday parenter, so take advantage of not needing to score any points and get some extra you time.
Haha, you just listed all the reasons you will find me chilling in the nearest Starbucks for 2 hours.
Heck, if my kid and hers were besties, I'd tell my kid to help with the cleanup and text me when they need a pick up. I mean, she already hates you and thinks you're a crap bday parenter, so take advantage of not needing to score any points and get some extra you time.
There is no reason that she has to be your friend. You be polite and sweet and ignore her bad behavior. Just because your kids are friends you don't have to be besties with the parent.
Her manners are suspect, but there is no reason for your manners to be anything other than the very best and most polite.
If it were me, I'd say something like "What time should I be back to pick up ______?
Like you said, your daughter is 12. And likely, your daughter would prefer you don't stick around anyway.
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Long story short, I knew this mom on an aquaintance level, as my other other child was in her kids class. We attended their party and would chat at school events. I did find a few thing unsettling, like how she immediately stated talking smack about another child to me within 5 min of chatting with her. Anyway, my oldest and her kid barely knew each other, but she invited us to her bday party. Night before both my kids are extremely sick and I canceled the night before, but letting her know how sorry we were. I know for a fact her child had tons of people attending and it was not like we just didn't show up. 
