How does the prospect of your young child later dying by suicide as a teenager/adult make you feel? (teens, parent)

[fatalecriminale]

I was reading on a forum called SanctionedSuicide (the only forum on the internet dedicated to that) about a mother who had a son kill himself just a week ago how she said she wished that he knew how it was "The most selfish thing he could do". She outlined her reasons for this mainly how she struggled so much as a single mother for her son to provide for him. As well as that, she felt devastated by his death and said it would be nearly impossible to get over.

One thing that she did mention is that she was asked this question about how she'd feel 10 years before when he was 14 by another mother. She never answered it as she felt so horrible at the idea of losing her child like this.

I wonder what you'd think? How would you feel if your kids grow up and decide to take their own life?

[Winter Sucks]

I'd feel horrible and want to "go" with him!

[Spuggy]

We fought tooth and nail to stop my daughter doing this during her late teens. For two years I had no life and was glad to do that. She got through it and we had a few stable years but she is in her thirties now and again the demons that tormented her then are back with a vengeance . What will I feel. I will feel I fought desperately to help her, that I did my best, that I will go to my grave with a broken heart and I will live with deep sorrow and compassion that she couldn’t beat this demon ( mental illness, severe depression and anxiety).
I have had to learn to live with the expectation this is a possibility and there is nothing I can do about it.

[rrah]

Uhmmmmm.....is this a real question?

Any parent would feel tremendous grief, the worst kind of grief imaginable, if a child should die for any reason.

[Mightyqueen801]

I never imagined my daughter would come to that, yet she did. Fortunately, she was not successful and is doing well NOW, but I will never be able to fully relax. Still, I met her for dinner last week and she said she had been having some mood swings again so she called her pdoc and made an appointment. I am glad she recognizes when something is wrong.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by rrah

Uhmmmmm.....is this a real question?

Any parent would feel tremendous grief, the worst kind of grief imaginable, if a child should die for any reason.

I would think so too since we want to believe that our children will outlive us. I would think suicide would have to be the worst though especially if there was a note directed to the family as to being the reason.

[G-fused]

Originally Posted by rrah

Uhmmmmm.....is this a real question?

Any parent would feel tremendous grief, the worst kind of grief imaginable, if a child should die for any reason.

+1. I can't even imagine how devastated and empty I would feel.

Not sure what other answer there could be or if the OP was expecting some to say "meh, it happens. I'd get over it".

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by fatalecriminale

I was reading on a forum called SanctionedSuicide (the only forum on the internet dedicated to that) about a mother who had a son kill himself just a week ago how she said she wished that he knew how it was "The most selfish thing he could do". She outlined her reasons for this mainly how she struggled so much as a single mother for her son to provide for him. As well as that, she felt devastated by his death and said it would be nearly impossible to get over.

One thing that she did mention is that she was asked this question about how she'd feel 10 years before when he was 14 by another mother. She never answered it as she felt so horrible at the idea of losing her child like this.

I wonder what you'd think? How would you feel if your kids grow up and decide to take their own life?

I'm sure she's deeply hurt, but I don't like how she's seemingly blaming her son for committing suicide. How much she struggled as a single mother isn't her son's fault. He didn't ask to be born. She knew that the world wasn't always a nice place and that some people become depressed and suicidal, so that's a risk that she accepted when she decided to have a child.

[PriscillaVanilla]

Originally Posted by fatalecriminale

I was reading on a forum called SanctionedSuicide (the only forum on the internet dedicated to that) about a mother who had a son kill himself just a week ago how she said she wished that he knew how it was "The most selfish thing he could do". She outlined her reasons for this mainly how she struggled so much as a single mother for her son to provide for him.

She needs a better understanding of mental illness, because suicide is often not a real choice. Many suicidal people probably think their family would be better off without them, so they don't see leaving as "selfish" at all. Perhaps the judgmental label she chose to slap on him gives us a clue as to why her son had problems and issues.

[Ceece]

I was extremely worried about teenage depression leading to suicide when my kids were growing up because it seemed like every few years there were clusters of them in our area. Fortunately they never had a problem with it but I did go out of my way to make sure they knew that any problems they had with other kids or at school were temporary and that they always had other outlets where they were in contact with people older than them so when things got strained with their peers they'd be able to get other POV's about the irritations in their life.