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Parent seeking advice how to discuss gun issue with friend’s parents, concerned with son going over to their house, good family, do not want to offend them
How can you speak for everybody? I've known men who have been through absolutely nightmarish experiences in combat, and never allow it to take control of them. They lead normal lives with families and everything. It's all in where you put it, in your past, or keep it in your present and your future.
Again, it's not about commandos who went to a war fully realizing that the danger was part of the job.
It's about danger happening to you child:
If your child gets bitten by a large dog and it leaves a scar on the child's face, don't tell me that you will not have a heightened sense of threat whenever there is a large dog around your child.
If your child gets approached by a man in a washroom asking for favors don't tell me that you won't have a heightened sense of danger every time your child needs to use a public washroom.
If a ER calls you telling that your child is in there because of this ..... accident, don't tell me you won't have a heightened awareness of the cause of the accident in future.
You will be PAST theoretizing of the POTENTIAL danger.
Reading about this woman's first-hand experience (shooting death, no less) and keeping to chuckle about stairs and slippery floors and other trivial "dangers" - well,...
Again, it's not about commandos who went to a war fully realizing that the danger was part of the job.
It's about danger happening to you child:
If your child gets bitten by a large dog and it leaves a scar on the child's face, don't tell me that you will not have a heightened sense of threat whenever there is a large dog around your child.
If your child gets approached by a man in a washroom asking for favors don't tell me that you won't have a heightened sense of danger every time your child needs to use a public washroom.
If a ER calls you telling that your child is in there because of this ..... accident, don't tell me you won't have a heightened awareness of the cause of the accident in future.
You will be PAST theoretizing of the POTENTIAL danger.
Reading about this woman's first-hand experience (shooting death, no less) and keeping to chuckle about stairs and slippery floors and other trivial "dangers" - well,...
You're repeating yourself.
Guns are in homes. Period. Guns are in a LOT of homes. If people are so afraid, then they should keep their kids from those homes, but don't be offended if people keep THEIR kids from your home because you have a dog, or knives in your kitchen (maybe even in a butcher block in plain sight on a counter), or stairs, or any other reason they come up with. It ISN'T ANY DIFFERENT. Paranoia is paranoia no matter how you cut it.
Again, it's not about commandos who went to a war fully realizing that the danger was part of the job.
It's about danger happening to you child:
Oh, you're arguing traumatic experience though, and combat IS a traumatic experience. The OP did not lose a child to gunshot, the OP worked in an ER where OTHER people came in from gunshot wounds, not her own kids, so your argument is baseless.
Oh, you're arguing traumatic experience though, and combat IS a traumatic experience. The OP did not lose a child to gunshot, the OP worked in an ER where OTHER people came in from gunshot wounds, not her own kids, so your argument is baseless.
If a child is shot and killed in a house next to yours, or a child of your co-worker is shot and killed, you will go on with your life whistling away. Duh
I've met people like this on forums, arguers for the sake of coming on top. I told them before, and I will tell you now - your word won't be always the last one, and you better get used to stating your point and letting others state theirs.
Still there is a difference between people who HAVE BEEN THROUGH a traumatic experience, and those ones like us here who theoretize of POTENTIAL dangers.
The danger has ceased to be POTENTIAL for the OP. She's in a different place.
Respect that.
You should RESPECT difference in opinions.
Do you know how many accidents there are with kids playing hide and seek, then found suffocated in the trunk of the car? Way too many! There's dangers everywhere. If the mother fears guns, then she needs to be honest with the family and try to resolve it; otherwise, find new friends for her son.
Personally, I would be more comforted with people who disclose the ownership of guns and understand how to handle them, rather than those who say nothing. Nobody knows what really happens in some homes....now you have more reason to start worrying.
To the OP: If I were in your situation I would just ask her friends politely, "I understand that you and your family hunt and therefore probably have guns in the house. Since my son wants to spend time over at your place, would you mind telling me how the guns are secured just for my own peace of mind?" I don't think that is unreasonable question as most people are aware of the fact that guns make some people uncomfortable. If they are insulted by your request then maybe it's better that they don't spend time there anyway. I have guns of my own (and a pool) and children. I don't disclose the fact that I have guns in the house because they are so well hidden my husband probably couldn't find them.
If you find that the guns are secured to your comfort then I don't see an issue - you can always do the NRA gun safety class as suggested earlier. If however, you are totally anti-gun in the house no matter what... then I don't know what to tell you.
Last edited by mommabear2; 01-25-2009 at 03:33 PM..
If a child is shot and killed in a house next to yours, or a child of your co-worker is shot and killed, you will go on with your life whistling away. Duh
I've met people like this on forums, arguers for the sake of coming on top. I told them before, and I will tell you now - your word won't be always the last one, and you better get used to stating your point and letting others state theirs.
No one is dismissing this woman's experience. It is horrible. However, I think that if she worked in an ER (I think she said that - I could be wrong) she probably saw more injuries/death resulting from auto accidents. I think where people are scratching their heads is her position that it doesn't matter how the guns are stored etc but whether they have guns at all. It sounds as if her child will never be allowed in a home where guns exist AT ALL. Even locked and unloaded. The point the other posters are trying to make (I don't believe sarcastically) is that there are dangers around every corner if that is what you seek. I have personally known several people whose kids have died in car accidents. Using the same logic as the OP, I would not be allowing my kids in cars. It is the same logic just using a more inconvenient example....
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