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Creme, forget the counselor.....you and i could just go on talking forever...you always seem to hit home for me..we have similar past. All i can say is Thanks for the post.
My parents were really strict and I was punished for even questioning them. It is a sign of disrespect. I remember when I was on junior high, that I went through a rebellious phase. Well rebellious for me anyway. I used to have to wear a skirt to school. A friend gave me a pair of pants. I would change into them after I arrived at school and put the skirt back on before I went home. One day I was called to the office. I did not realise until too late that my mom was there. I don't even remember why she had come originally but as soon as we saw each other I knew it was too late.
She signed me out of school for the day and on the front steps of the school, I had to take the pants off and give them too her. Then I had to walk in just my top and underwear to the car. I was just even more embarassed that ever. It felt like the whole school was watching through the windows as we walked. That night I received a real beating for defiance.
your mother was a monster just like mine . She had no qualms about embarassing you , but yet if we had embarassed them like that the whole world would have come to an end . What she did to you making you take those pants off and you walk to the car was abusive it was mental abuse and my mother had the prize for that . I dont talk to my mother anymore and have not in ten years because of what she put me through as a child and a teenager .Luckily I met and married a nice man he treats me very well and he knows all about how my mother was and he grew up very differently from me . His parents never raised a hand to him or his sisters . so I think you probably handle things very well .
My parents were really strict and I was punished for even questioning them. It is a sign of disrespect. I remember when I was on junior high, that I went through a rebellious phase. Well rebellious for me anyway. I used to have to wear a skirt to school. A friend gave me a pair of pants. I would change into them after I arrived at school and put the skirt back on before I went home. One day I was called to the office. I did not realise until too late that my mom was there. I don't even remember why she had come originally but as soon as we saw each other I knew it was too late.
She signed me out of school for the day and on the front steps of the school, I had to take the pants off and give them too her. Then I had to walk in just my top and underwear to the car. I was just even more embarassed that ever. It felt like the whole school was watching through the windows as we walked. That night I received a real beating for defiance.
Kristen, I'm so sorry you experienced this...so sorry...have you ever talked with a counselor?
Your mother was most likely raised the same way and "thought" that was how to parent...
Big hugs...
Creme
I have not talked to anyone except a little on the internet. I learned not to talk to people as they tend to either call the authorities and I dont want that or they freak out and leave. Just when I have told them and then I need them then they go wooh this gal is too weird. So I am what everyone expects me to be. I do not want to risk my anything so I do not talk about it. On the outside everything is perfect. People look at my and my family and think everything is perfect. I have fun with my friends but I do not talk about problems ever.
My mom and my father both thought that they were doing the right thing. This is one of the difficulties. When people talk about abuse, it is usually in the context that the person doing the abuse was either doing it for their own gratification or they were out of control. say drunk or on drugs or something. My parents actions were motivated by a belief that they should have 'a beautiful obedient daughter'. Attractive for a husband and a credit to the family. So even though I rebelled at times, At other times, I also bought into it and I did my very very best to do exactly what they wanted. So anyway, I do not fit into not abused and I do not fit into abused. If that makes sense. So sometimes when I am alone I look on the net for someplace to just chat and such.
It's not about what's on the outside, but more importantly, what is on the inside that counts.
Creme
Our oldest daughter is 11 and I think she could really care less about clothes...and we sure don't allow makeup yet....but even if we did I don't think she would care about it. She's just not shallow in that respect. She doesn't care that much about looks. Don't get me wrong. She's a very cute girl; tall, thin, long straight blonde hair, great skin, great smile, etc. She has lots of friends and secretly had a boyfriend a few weeks ago. She just hasn't gotten into fancy clothes. My bank account is thankful.
Younger Daughter (5) = Different Story. She's a total princess if I've ever seen one. She loves clothes, makeup (play makeup), hair styling, barbie dolls, etc. She's going to be a problem.
I don't think we really raised the two of them any differently. Although the older girl came up through a time when we didn't have as much money so that may have had some affect on her. If she knows money is short she won't ask for anything. The 5 yr old isn't that sensitive.
drjones96
I don't think we really raised the two of them any differently. Although the older girl came up through a time when we didn't have as much money so that may have had some affect on her. If she knows money is short she won't ask for anything. The 5 yr old isn't that sensitive.
I can't help but smile at this statement...I've heard so many people in my lifetime say the same thing...how can our children, be so different...but that is what makes the world go round...I don't believe it's by accident?
About cremebrulee
Interests
Ocean, cooking, gardening, travel, art, reading, movies, horses, dogs
Occupation- I pluck chickens
Education- Not much
I was kidding with the occupation and education
Quote:
Pets- I had a dog once, but I divorced him.
I meant my ex was a dog
I grew up with boys, not many girls in my neighborhood...so, I suppose I adopted their demeaner as being cut and dry...I'm a tough ol broad at times, but my heart is big and forgiving.
Creme
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