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My 10 year old is friends with a neighborhood kid who comes here regularly to play and sometimes they go to his house. I've always felt somewhat uncomfortable about the house but couldn't put my finger on it, and the parents are "nice". He came home and said he left early because he heard what sounded like the dad making a drug deal on the phone (sadly this didn't seem too surprising). He told his friend he had to go home for a minute, but neither of us feel that he should go back. The kid is more than welcome to come over here whenever and usually does, about 75% of the time.
I have no issue with him not going over there (and he doesn't want to) but we are trying to figure out how to address it when he is inevitably invited. They play together almost daily. I don't think the parents have any clue why he really left and he didn't say. I don't want to tip our hand on the real reason either (and I realize my kid could have possibly misinterpreted the phone call as I wasn't there to overhear it).
How would you handle this situation, knowing that the kids are very close and they are nearby neighbors? Thanks!
How does your 10yo know what a one sides drug deal sounds like? Do you know what was actually said?
I'm curious about this too. My 10yo wouldn't know what a phone convo about a drug deal sounds like unless it was something like "Hey, I have drugs to sell you. Want to come over to buy them?"
How does your 10yo know what a one sides drug deal sounds like? Do you know what was actually said?
You're right I don't know exactly what was said in the conversation, but wish I did as that would make things easier. And yeah, he probably wouldn't know if it was a hush hush conversation. All he heard was a conversation about doing drugs and a drug dealer (he heard those words), and he got really uncomfortable and decided decided to leave instead of further eavesrop. It's ENTIRELY possible that the conversation was misconstrued, since I wasn't there and he didn't stay to continue listening in. It's also entirely possible that there is drug usage in the home (there are cigarettes and beer bottles everywhere but this alone wouldn't lead me to that conclusion) because my husband and I have suspected such and sometimes the parents seem like they are acting a little "off" compared to other times, like markedly spaced out and different vs when they are more coherent. We did not plant this idea in his head though.
In any event, my 10 year old doesn't feel comfortable playing at their house and we don't feel comfortable with it either. The boy is more than welcome at our house any time and comes over often. What I was wondering was how my son should respond to the boy when he is inevitably invited back to his place because, "I suspect your parents might do drugs" doesn't seem like the appropriate answer and he is worried about what to say so I thought I'd ask for some feedback.
How close? Like on your street? Are there a lot of drug dealers on your street, with lots of apartment buildings and high crime/locked doors/barred windows, or is this family-friendly semi-urbia?
In my neighborhood, I know all my nearby neighbors and we look out for each other. We don't tolerate illegal activity or anything that could bring a dangerous element around our families.
I'd go talk to the parents, directly, unless you think it's going to put your family in danger. That stuff doesn't fly in my neighborhood. I don't care how people make money, but I would want to make sure they're not doing deals from their house, and bringing pot/meth/crack heads through the neighborhood.
If my kid misinterpreted it, then "haha, and I thought you were a dealer!" If not, then I'd make sure they know not to crap where they eat.
If your neighborhood is already overrun and there's no point in going to war with your kid's friend's parents, then, yeah, just don't let your kid go over to play in the suspected druggie's den.
because my husband and I have suspected such and sometimes the parents seem like they are acting a little "off" compared to other times, like markedly spaced out and different vs when they are more coherent.
They probably smoke pot, but if your son has never seen it or smelled it, then they are being careful. I don't see that as a big deal at your son's age.
In any event, my 10 year old doesn't feel comfortable playing at their house and we don't feel comfortable with it either. The boy is more than welcome at our house any time and comes over often. What I was wondering was how my son should respond to the boy when he is inevitably invited back to his place because, "I suspect your parents might do drugs" doesn't seem like the appropriate answer and he is worried about what to say so I thought I'd ask for some feedback.
You'll have to be the heavy in order to let your son off the hook. All he has to do is tell his friend that his parents won't allow him to visit the house any more and leave it at that. At his age it's really not his place to have to give any more reason than that. You will likely get a call from the parents though, so have your explanation ready, lol
How close? Like on your street? Are there a lot of drug dealers on your street, with lots of apartment buildings and high crime/locked doors/barred windows, or is this family-friendly semi-urbia?
In my neighborhood, I know all my nearby neighbors and we look out for each other. We don't tolerate illegal activity or anything that could bring a dangerous element around our families.
I'd go talk to the parents, directly, unless you think it's going to put your family in danger. That stuff doesn't fly in my neighborhood. I don't care how people make money, but I would want to make sure they're not doing deals from their house, and bringing pot/meth/crack heads through the neighborhood.
If my kid misinterpreted it, then "haha, and I thought you were a dealer!" If not, then I'd make sure they know not to crap where they eat.
If your neighborhood is already overrun and there's no point in going to war with your kid's friend's parents, then, yeah, just don't let your kid go over to play in the suspected druggie's den.
About 5 houses down, the houses are all pretty close...it's a more historic area with homes from the '20's - '40's, so not a family HOA neighborhood, but not surrounded by apartments and not particularly crime ridden, it's a middle class neighborhood with a few kids and some older folks, single folks, you name it, very mixed. But pretty safe. We have only been here for a few months but all the neighbors we have met are very nice and respectful (with this possible exception, although they are still "nice" and don't bother the neighbors around them nor have loud parties). It's mixed though in that it's not all families with young kids kind of neighborhood. I wouldn't say its a haven for druggies though!
I'm not sure what exactly I'd say to the parents though..."Hey, are you doing drugs?" Might be kind of awkward...
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